I need to talk about this and get past it. Please help me.

[KSL]

Hello! So, I know this may come off as really ignorant or dumb to a lot of people. Trust me, I have been called just about every name in the book for having this problem and I've gone to counseling and tried everything I can to make it stop occurring. So, here goes nothing.. I have always had anxiety problems since I was a young girl but there is one thing that triggers it beyond all reason. It occurs when I am in a relationship where I really love the person and they see another woman nude. Whether it be a picture, pornography, or graphic sex/ nude scenes in movies. Luckily, my boyfriend I am with now respects my problem and tries his best to avoid seeing all of that to keep me from feeling the way that I do when it happens, but I DON'T want to live the rest of my life trapped by something I can't control..It all started whenever I was watching a movie with my first "real boyfriend" (this was some years ago, I am 20 years old now btw).. I remember sitting there and a nude scene came on and he got turned on. My heart started beating really fast, my palms were sweaty, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I didn't know why it bothered me so much but it hurt that he saw that and every time afterwards.. Part of me wonders if it has anything to do with the fact that I was sexually abused when I was 14 because I remember it getting tragically worse afterwards. I just can't figure out why I feel this way. I know it is completely NOT logical, but when it happens I feel as if my boyfriend cheated on me.. That shocked feeling in the pit of your stomach where u can't breathe and your whole entire body feels numb and all you want to do is cry your eyes out and break down..Something in my brain tells me that my naked body should be the only one he sees and when he sees others I don't want him to see mine at all.. I'm tired of always worrying about what my boyfriend sees or being hurt when he does see something.. I feel like something is wrong with me and I've even tried watching movies with my current boyfriend that show nudity and it ended with me almost hyperventilating, shaking, and in tears after the scene would come on and he would see the nudity.. I feel really alone in this and I just want to be a normal person because, trust me.. I know this isn't normal. I guess I was wondering if there is anyone else that suffers with this issue like I do? And if so how do you deal with it? Even if you haven't suffered with it if you have any recommendations that could help me get over this I would love more than anything to hear them..I know my boyfriend loves me and only me and I want to be able to watch movies like a regular human being with him and not have to always feel like an anxious wreck wondering if something is going to pop up.. I could really use some help here guys..