Everyone is different, but I think you can go off of it even though you've had it so long. The initial withdraw is rough. After 7 years of being on 2 anti-depressants my insurance wouldn't cover them, so I let them run out, thinking I could handle life without them. I had the withdraw effects, but soon they went away. I was back to my old self, but the problem was I no longer could maintain a stable mood. The bad days no longer went away, and built up into depression. It sucks, but I pretty much have to stay on meds. While the meds are over-pushed, some people, like myself, truly do need them to maintain daily functionality. Give it a try, but always be aware if you are slipping into depression.

Why are you thinking about suicide, if I may ask? Be aware that if you go off the med, you might initially feel super depressed and want to commit suicide.