Please read! I need help!

[ellawag4]

Hello! I have had anxiety since I was very little, but it started to take a greater toll on me as I got older. I went through a lot of problems with friends and was always a little depressed but could mostly shake it off. That is, until I went to college. I got here and everything was going perfectly. I was swimming really well on a Division One Team, I have an amazing boyfriend that I am so in love with, great friends, and good grades. But I absolutely hated swimming and I wasn't happy. I also went through a few problems with my boyfriend because he got scared to be in a relationship, but everything got better and we were right where we used to be.
After a while, I couldn't handle swimming anymore and decided to quit after thirteen years. I had a major identity crisis and started to doubt everything. This includes my choice of college and whether I should go to school at home, my friends, and even my boyfriend. It's not that I doubt that I love him or that I want to be with him, but I am legitimately doubting EVERYTHING. It is really frustrating and questions are constantly going through my head about if I'm doing something wrong. I started crying a lot and never wanted to go out. I felt like I lost my friends and started to feel constantly anxious about my school choice, not swimming and my boyfriend.
I know I made the right decision in quitting swimming, but it is just a really hard transition, and I want all these doubts, especially about my relationship, to go away! I have talked to my boyfriend and he is so understanding and amazing about it and knows that I am just going through something. He does not take offense or anything like that. That's when I realized something, ever since I was little, if one thing went wrong, I thought everything was wrong! Like, if I lost one friend, I would say I had no friends, wanted to change schools or move out of my state. I think I am depressed and have anxiety, and wanted to know if this was normal and what I can do to make all of this anxiety stop I just want to be happy again. I love my boyfriend and my school, so why am I having doubts about things that are perfectly fine?! I don't get it!

[ellawag4]

I don't know if I should see a therapist or something, or if I need medication? Like I said, this has been going on for a while. It has just gotten more constant lately. Has anyone else gone through this? I want to fix it because I don't always want to have to live like this... I always have doubts about everything and questions about my relationship are always running through my mind. I want them to go away. I can't handle it anymore. I am always sad and never want to socialize. Please help. I used to get panic attacks randomly but now i am just CONSTANTLY anxious and nervous. I have had problems with friend changes all throughout my life so I think that is what my anxiety stems from but I am legitimately miserable because it is so bad now.

[sjoseph]

It sounds like you're under a lot of stress from being in college among other things. It's perfectly normal to doubt your identity, your education, your relationships, and your friends. It's what growing up is all about. It seems like you answered your own question. Ever since a child you would automatically feel like the whole world is crashing down when ONE thing goes wrong. You need to look at the big picture. If you take every little tiny negative thing that happens and allow it to consume you, you will NEVER be happy. My dad bought me this book called "the wuarter life crisis" its all about being in your 20's and how hard it is. You need to look at the big picture of things. Trust me.

[YamakiGirl82]

I didn't have the EXACT same feelings in my 20's as you are; however, growing up, I was always worried about EVERYTHING. Never considered an anxiety problem as I was a guitarist/singer and never even experienced stage fright when performing. When I was 24, though, married for a year, had a great career - all was going great. Then I started having "out of the blue" anxiety attacks. Had to leave full carts to get out of grocery stores, had to leave work a couple times with little/no explanation, etc. The attacks became escalated and the symptoms started manifesting themselves as physical problems, so THEN I became a hypochondriac! Finally, my great MD diagnosed me with anxiety and prescribed Xanax. I've been seeing a great psychiatrist for semi-annual visits for 25+ years now. I'm on relatively low dosages of Xanax and an anti-depressant. I know meds aren't the answer for everyone, but I feel like they gave me my life back. Best of luck in your journey - there IS help out there!