Tonight

[MoMurph]

I wish people could get in my head. Live inside of it for just a moment. See the world how I see it.
I don’t even know what I have anymore. Anxiety, depression, bipolar depression, PTSD… I’ve been diagnosed with them all. I thought putting a title to something would help. Lead me down a path to a “cure”. Cure… that idea left a long time ago.
There are days, like today, where my world moves fast and slow all at the same time. Its an infuriating and debilitating feeling. My thoughts are racing by, too fast for me to grab on to and process. I can hear almost audible screams as they race to the forefront of my brain and then back into the dark again. As my brain is racing and the screams intensifying, I succumb to what I refer to as my slow down. I think it’s a defense mechanism. I can’t move fast, I can’t make decisions, I just sit and stare. And listen of course.
I keep saying “I want to go home” even though I am on my own couch, in my own home… I just want to feel comfortable.
I am just so incredibly sad….

[Katie Hall]

I feel your pain. I wish I could offer anything other than knowing I have gone through the same thing. It is a hard thing to deal with.