Social anxiety at university.

[hectorjackson]

Hi guys, I am new here this is my first post and I just want to explain how I am feeling and how my anxiety is affecting me personally. I started university in England, Bristol around a week ago. I have made some friends but don't particularly feel that I have a close group of people that I can call to meet up in my spare time or whatever.

This is not my MAIN concern at the moment as I know it is still early days, and although I know there are lots of people who have found close friendship groups there will still be many people like me who may just need time to settle in and find friends with similar interests, hobbies etc.

My primary concern is giving speeches or presentations in class, which is a mandatory part of my degree. We get graded on it and I really don't want to mess it up. I'll use an example to explain exactly how I feel in these certain situations. Earlier today we had a introductory seminar where we basically just sat down and my lecturer explained the course...

Firstly she said she wanted us to all introduce ourselves. As SOON as she said this, my hands became sweaty, my heart beat increased rapidly and I became restless. Many thoughts were rushing through my head. What do I say? Is anyone looking at me and can notice I am extremely nervous? What would happen if I just ran away? I know it sounds silly, but I was praying for someone to be feeling the same way as me. Misery truly does love company. However, everyone else was laid back, they spoke clearly and genuinely had interesting things to say and at the same time made people laugh.

When it came to my turn I literally had to use all of my power to try and not think about the anxiety that had fully taken over my body. I had a nervous tone to my voice, the room fell silent (well at least in my head I thought so) and the lecturer seemed to give me a concerning look. On the other hand, I didn't stutter or say anything particularly awkward I just was straight to the point and tried to make eye-contact with my lecturer throughout.

I thought I did actually pretty well considering how I was feeling at the time. But then my lecturer said at the end of the seminar that we are to do a 15 minute presentation on a subject of our choice in front of the class towards the end of the term. This is pretty much my worst nightmare. I haven't stopped thinking and worrying about it since. I feel like this is going to bring about more anxiety in my life until I finally get it over with 8 weeks from now.

One time at college (high school in the UK) I had to do a presentation with my friend and I quite literally froze up and could not say anything. He had to do the whole of the rest of the presentation by himself whilst I stood there with people looking at me, feeling like a complete nervous wreck.

I was just wondering if anyone has had any similar situations and could possibly give me some advice. I've heard about these anti-anxiolytic pills called xanex and perhaps this could be a good option for me just to take before doing presentations to get me through them?

Sorry about the long-winded post, if you have made the time to read through the whole thing I truly appreciate it.

[paperflower]

Hey there,Im also new here and looking on ways to help improve anxiety just like yourself.

I just recently graduated in july this year from a university in Wales and reading your post bought back some memories of sitting in lectures/seminars waiting for my name to be called in front of the class.
Like yourself, i remember the lecturer calling names out until it gradually became my turn to introduce who i was and i felt as though everybody was staring at me and could sense my anxiety by how clammy my hands were and how sweaty my forehead was.

Once I spoke and got it out of the way the sense of relief was fantastic and it was soon forgotten until just like your experience the words 'individual module presentation is due in week 9' was heard.
My advice would be to email your personal tutor (if you have been allocated one) and to explain that you struggle with anxiety, particularly with class presentations/answering out loud. Your personal tutor will then contact the lecturer for you and you will most likely be given the opportunity to present to just the lecturer themselves.

If you do not have a personal tutor, I would suggest to email the lecturer personally and explain your situation.
When i was in first year i was constantly battling with group/individual presentations to the point i was skipping lectures/seminars with the crippling fear id make a fool out of myself.
By the time second year came it became unbearable and i contacted my personal tutor who informed my lecturers about my issues and i never had to present again!

I came to understand eventually that most people don't enjoy speaking in front of a room full of people and when asked to do so, most feel obliged to get up there out of fear they'll receive a bad grade.
It also comforted me at the time that members of staff are used to dealing with young people and you're not the first nor last person to ask for help!

I hope this has helped, keep me updated on your situation, I'd love to know how things go!
All the best

[Elaine Sun]

I'm so sorry that you have terrible public speaking fears. I have the same, albeit not as intense as your particular situation. When we have to introduce ourselves to the class, my heart starts pounding so hard I swear the person next to me could hear it! I also have to do a ten minute presentation for the end of the quarter, and I am sure I more fearful about it than anyone else. To make matters worse, I am in a grad school where all of my peers are better spoken, more mature, and older than me.

A few advice I can give you to help you through your journey as it has helped me:
- Don't suppress your feeling. Don't try to wish the feeling will go away. It wont. In fact, it will get worse because you're ignoring a message that it's trying to tell you. For me, that message was that I was unsupported and unvalued. I had no one to talk to about my insecurities. Instead, I was constantly under the scrutiny or others and no one gave me kind words. Because no one said that "me" was good enough. I decided to seek support after that message, and it has been helpful. The support is online, but some support is better than none.
- Journal about it. Let your thoughts run wild and let it all go. You'd be amazed how much better you'll feel after saying your emotions out loud, and maybe even after a good cry.
- Don't believe that you're the only person that is nervous about public speaking. Most people freak out about presentations and interviews and related things. They're just holding it in, just like you are. The nervousness intensity just varies from person to person.
- Practice your presentation over and over and over and over again! Record yourself. Do it in front of a mirror. Have it done so many times that you know the presentation like the back of your hand. Do it until you are absolutely and totally comfortable presenting it alone. Preparation will alleviate a good proportion of your worries about not knowing what to say during the actual presentation day.
- Take deep breaths. Make sure your belly rises as you inhale.
- Do a "superman" pose or extend your limbs out for several minutes before you begin your talk (privately, like in the hallways or bathroom). Studies have shown that the "winning" pose (the pose you often see others make when they win, such as a runner being the first across the finish line) lowers cortisol stress hormone levels and boosts confidence. Never shrink your body up and make yourself appear smaller. That pose raises cortisol.
- If your body wont calm itself down no matter what you do, test out propanolol. Ask for a prescription from your doctor - it will drop your blood pressure, undo the shaking, and prevent you from having a heart attack. Test it out before your presentation, such as a moderately-stressful event, to see how it works on you.
- Help someone else out! When there is SO much attention on yourself, you feel extra alert and stressed out. So reach out to someone else that is suffering and relieve them of their suffering. When you made someone else happier, you become happier yourself.

Don't avoid stressful social situations. Embrace it. Force yourself to participate in class; raise a hand and ask a question or make a comment. If you do it enough times, you will eventually get desensitized to it and your performance will improve. Nothing lasts forever, and this event of yours will become your past soon.