Marijuana making things worse...

[Dave G]

For reasons I'll let remain unknown, I wasn't able to smoke marijuana from about November 2011 until about February of 2012. Through that period of time, I found myself bored more often - but a little less anxious. Now that I can smoke, I have gotten high almost everyday for the past month. I quit running in the morning before work (which was helping me tremendously with my daily mood and attitude and my overall health), I've blown off plans I've made with friends, and I'm feeling overall unhealthy and fatigued. I know that marijuana isn't technically addictive, physically at least, but I feel that I may have some dependence on it - and it is making overcoming fear and anxiety so much harder.

I'm a big list guy. I always keep a daily planner with me and I tend to stay very organized (there's a post-it note on almost everything in my office). Everyday I fill my planner with things I want to do that day, the next day, or some poin in the future. In the morning when I'm getting ready for work I think about all the stuff I'm gonna do that day, and sometimes if I have some extra time in the morning I'll even get some of that stuff done. For example, this morning before work I did a partial water change in my 30 gallon fish tank, something I've been meaning to do all week. Know why I hadn't done it til this morning? Because that is truly the only time I feel motivated, when I have a fresh start and a clean slate for the day. i was the same way in college. If I had an assignment due, I'd almost always wake up really early and do it instead of staying up extra late. That's just me - I guess I'm a morning person.

I find, though, that by the time 2 o'clock rolls around I start looking at the clock more and more (I get off work at 4). I get anxious and just can't wait to get back to my couch. It's like my safe zone. There's no enxiety on my couch. Just me, my tv, video games and weed. Once I finally get home and get to smoking I feel good. A lot of times, last night for example, I'll fall asleep at like 7 since the weed makes me tired. I woke up at 10 last night and realized I slept my day away, and had to go back to bed so I could just wake up and do it all again. My list today is the same as it was yesterday, which was the same the day before that. I hate it. I tell myself I should just not smoke weed then if I realize it's causing all these problems. But I guess the thing is, I haven't found anything yet in my anxious, stress filled life that makes me feel as good and as relaxed as weed does.

I get very paranoid when i'm high - not because I'm worried about getting caught, that actually never crosses my mind - but because of how I look. When I'm high I hate the way I look. My eyes look terrible and I know I look bad. That's on top of me already being overly self-concious. So basically, if I smoke, all bets are off for my social life. I don't want to be around people because I know I'll look bad. Yesterday a buddy invited me to go to the bar around 9 o'clock. I had smoked at about 4:30, passed out, woke up at 10, then had to text him and tell him I dozed off. Like I've mentioned before if you've read my posts, I live in a new area. I've been here a little over a year and I really can't afford to lose the few friends I have here.

Loneliness is one of my biggest issues. I hate feeling lonely. But I can see before my eyes how marijuana is making me more and more lonely, since it makes me neglect social interactions. Then, when I don't smoke and I actually do something social I feel anxious. It's like, "Shit, I have been a recluse for the past 2 weeks and now I'm out... I need to make it worth it!" That puts pressure on myself to be social and makes me nervous.

I guess there's no real way to end this post, or any questions to be answered. I just need to take weed out of my life. Or save it for times when I know it won't interfere with any other plans. Can anybody relate to this? I feel like it is a very significant factor to my anxiety, but I just feel so good when I'm doing it...

[miss_mac666]

i know how you feel. when i used to smoke i would get crazy paranoid and my heart would race sooo incredibly fast i thought i might die. i couldnt swallow at all. butt i have alot more knowledge on differant strains of marijuana now. ok sativas are more like a head high, thats the strain i did not like at all!!! and the other is indicas, this strain is more of a body high and great for people with anxiety. i smoke a little at a tme and it actually helps alot.

I have GAD, panic disorder, anorexia, BDS ( Body dismorphic syndrome) i rarely eat at all and i never sleep. when i smoke, i can eat and i can sleep a bit better. i dont smoke it alot because i still feel like i may freak out but Indicas is the best marijuana to smoke if you have anxiety. if your interested i will give you names of the specific types.

Claire

[miss_mac666]

[QUOTE=Dave G;42532]Loneliness is one of my biggest issues. I hate feeling lonely. But I can see before my eyes how marijuana is making me more and more lonely, since it makes me neglect social interactions. Then, when I don't smoke and I actually do something social I feel anxious. It's like, "Shit, I have been a recluse for the past 2 weeks and now I'm out... I need to make it worth it!" That puts pressure on myself to be social and makes me nervous.


If you really feel lonely, just come on here and go in the chat and talk. we are all here helping eachother. i know when im down and anxious there are tons of support here. pm me if you ever need to talk

Claire

[laurandisorder]

I used to smoke a lot and I mean A LOT when I was a student at Uni. In fact, I probably smoked almost daily for 6-7 years until very recently.

For me it was more of a social thing. The people I knew and loved did it, so I did it too and for a number of years I experienced no problems. In fact it probably helped me get through uni and I had some great times.

After anxiety struck, it took on a different light. I had to stop cold turkey because my stoned feeling mimicked the symptoms of a panic attack so clearly that it would induce them. The paranoia and boredom also didn't help.

Now, I don't have a lot of time for the drug at all. In hindsight, I believe that for recreation and medicinal purposes (in certain illnesses) the drug has great benefits, but for people who smoke every day it can be a trap in a vicious cycle of being content with not living up to your full potential.

And for the record, my mental health issues pre date my usage by a long time, but ALL of my friends that smoke weed have developed degrees of mental health problems, depression, anxiety, panic attacks. These are people who have used it for 10-15 years. I can't just believe its a coincidence.

If you can live your life to the fullest and smoke, by all means go ahead, but if it is affecting the quality of your life and relationships... Give it a break. Being high doesn't compensate for real connections and friendships, especially of you crave them.

[alankay]

Best to work with a doc for whatever meds or other treatments used for anxiety since it really should be monitored to be sure the use is therapeutic and safe. Just my atek. Alankay

[MainerMikeBrown]

Many people who use marijuanna don't know much about it.

If I wanted to use marijuanna, I'd do some research first. Using marijuanna is a major life decision. I would never want to make a major decision without becoming informed about the positives and the negatives of doing so first.

[joolz5108]

I used to smoke quite a bit, until I experienced the paranoid feelings that you are describing too. Now, when i smoke my heart races, and I feel like everyone is judging me. At first I ignored the fact that marijuana no longer made me feel good because I had smoked it for so long that it was hard to believe it was all of a sudden affecting me negatively. Eventually I realized if its not fun anymore for me, why even bother.

If you feel paranoid and uncomfortable from smoking, why are you doing it? Think about it.

[Dave G]

Well the thing is, I don't always feel paranoid and uncomfortable when smoking - only when I'm around other people. And even then, If I'm around someone I'm comfortable with when smoking it's a blast! I live in a new area and haven't met a whole lot of people yet, so I have more down time than I would if I lived in my old town - so when I get bored it seems like a good option - and I enjoy it a lot when I'm alone. It's when I'm not high and realize that I spend more time alone smoking than I do interacting with people that bothers me. I know what most of you would say to that - "You need to find activities or hobbies to fill your time." Well I golf on occasion, mentor a child once a week, fish at least once a week. I'm not a complete recluse - I just haven't found my niche yet, and that kills me. I've been patient, and put forth a good amount of effort to make friends - but I let my anxiety get in the way and make me nervous. I'm not the real me when I meet people. I guess I'm straying from the marijuana topic, but that is just one contributing factor to my anxiety. Fear, self-consciousness, perfectionism - these are some of the other things I'm letting ruin my life.

[Dave G]

Yesterday I was supposed to golf with some coworkers. Instead, I told them I couldn't go, went home after work and smoked, and played video games and watched tv all day. I have a load of laundry in the dryer I've been wanting to fold since Thursday of last week.

I know I'll be happy if I stop smoking - but it always seems to be the first thing on my mind once I get off work. I could go wash my car, or i could smoke. 9 out of 10 times I'm gonna smoke. The worst part is (which many people wish they had) I get my stuff for free. I have a buddy who gets a ton and just gives me a bunch every week or so. So it's not even like I'm wasting money on something that's hurting me - so it makes it very hard to stop.

Just really finding a lack of motivation here. I keep taking the easy way out, and I know it's gonna come back to bite me if I don't fix this.

[biceps72]

pot and anxiety is not a good combo.

booze and anxiety is not a good combo either.

I would never EVER recommend either.

I do know several people who drink very modestly (e.g. 1 glass of wine, or 1 beer or 1.5 oz of hard liquor daily) and get along well with anxiety. Again I don't recommend it but npeople that can indeed drink modestly can get along ok.

Doing pot in moderation is different to me. I really don't know what a moderate amount of pot/day is??????