Hi, all. I have been lurking about here for awhile and decided to post today. i really need some support. i need someone to tell me that it's gonna be ok. i am 34 years old and have had anxiety my whole life. i have had a really tough year and many episodes of anxiety. this time it doesn't seem to want to go away. everyone is sick of me being sick. i am very sick of being sick, too. i lost my dad a year ago, followed one month later by my maternal grandmother and then one month later my paternal grandmother passed. 3 important people in my life in a 3 month span. it has been terribly hard and i have considered going to see a grief counselor but the thought of opening myself up that way is traumatizing. every time the phone rings, i bug out thinking that someone is calling to tell me that another loved one has died. i've tried talking to my mom but i hate to upset her anymore. she seems to be coping much better than i. my husband is always there to listen but unfortunately i am a broken record and i can see it in his face when i bring it up again. i have been on zoloft for about 8 years and also take xanax periodically as needed. nothing is helping. i can't eat, can only sleep if i take an over the counter sleep aid, and i feel like my job and all of my relationships are suffering. every morning for the last two weeks i have been throwing up. i wake up and then i throw up. no fun. these are all symptoms that i have suffered with before and have somehow managed to get thru. this time, not so much. i just need some help, advice, kind words--anything to get me outta this state i am in. thanks.