Day 3 (4th dose) of Klonopin kicking my behind into tranquilized submission

[JaneDoe :D]

Hi Alan,

Thank you for the reply; I am in Florida, too. Guess I should fill out my profile a bit more, huh?
Shortly after I posted that first post, I woke up a little and was able to get moving--shower, Publix, etc. Still drowsier than tuesday, but better.
I just hate feeling so sedated. I prefer homeopathic remedies and talking myself out of ruts.

In any case, what you said does make sense. I did need to get calmed down. I was a bigger mess on Monday than I had ever been. I'd always managed mild anxiety issues because I knew what they were. Mind over matter is usually my mantra, and I usually stay calm through thick and thin. Additionally, because of my absolute detest for any and all medications (I won't even take a tylenol unless I am in unbearable pain), and because I already take baby aspirin every night, I willfully avoided talking to anyone or asking for any help at all over the years. On Monday, when I realized that I would be unable to hide the attacks from my children any further (we are super close and they can sense if I am upset), I ran to my doctor. I cried all day tuesday with relief and joy that I no longer felt afraid. However, this morning when I took that pill, a sudden fear hit me: What if I am stuck on this stuff forever? What if I am a zombie every day? I refuse to be addicted to anything. I kicked the cigarette habit last year (still addicted to the nicotine gum, though) and it nearly killed me. I felt like I lost my only friend (my family lives far away and it literally is just me and my three kids--I have no friends because I had become too reclusive and too tired to socialize. Live in boyfriend is so absolutely apathetic and withdrawn that this newfound calm and strength from klonopin is actually making me strong enough to consider what I'd been too afraid to consider before: living alone again). So when it occurred to me today that this might be just a new crutch, I freaked out a little. Sure enough, the chest pain came back for a few hours. Now I am reconsidering lowering the dosage. If I can scare myself into chest pain while on .5 mg, maybe I shouldn't lower the dosage just yet? I think I should maybe wait a few more days? I still am undecided about everything except to just take it one day at a time. Today I did okay. Not as good as yesterday, but okay. Im just a little sad and depressed that I just traded one crutch (cigs) for another. I feel like a total failure. Have you (or anyone else reading?) felt ashamed when starting a med like this? Is this normal?

PS: What is an SSRI?