New Here and scared!

[Jmh514]

Hello everyone.
I have really bad anxiety and need to tell my story.
A couple years ago I read a really scary book and suddenly I started feeling really weird. I felt like cold was going all through my body, my heart was beating really fast, and my whole body just felt weird. I couldn't stop thinking about things in the book I was so scared!! Then after about a week I couldn't take it anymore. I saw a doctor and described the problem she told me it was anxiety and put me on paxil. Then a few days after I was taking it I had this thought. I thought "well, at least I'm not thinking about the girls face in the exorcist movie" then BAM!! I couldn't stop thinking of the scary face. I saw it all the time and was so scared. I decided to see a psychiatrist. I only saw her 3 times because by then the medicine was working and i felt normal again. I didn't see the face anymore and my symptoms were gone. Well i was feeling better so i went off of paxil but a few months later my anxiety came back. I don't remember what caused it. It was something different though. So my doctor put me on Prozac this time cuz the paxil made me sleepy. The prozac worked really good also. I have been off of it 2 other times but needed to be put back on. It worked everytime. Needless to say i stopped taking it and a week and 4 days ago my anxiety came back again, my leg was bothering me where i got my tattoo and for some reason that brought my anxiety back. I really believe that if i was on the medicine i wouldn't have gotten it back. I starting taking my prozac again cuz now i know i need to be on it the rest of my life and that is fine. The scary thing is thought i am thinking of the Exorcist face again!! It is really scary!!! I try not to think about it or the movie but i just can't seem to get it out of my head. I don't know what to do. Scenes from the movie just pop into my head and then I get the anxiety symptoms. What's bad for me is that I get the symptoms all day. They won't go away. I've only been on the prozac for a week and 4 days so i am just waiting for them to kick in. My anxiety seems to be a little better today but thoughts just go through my head like what if i can never get these images out of my mind. I don't want to think about them forever because they come really frequently. I was feeling really good today for about 2 hours when all of a sudden the face popped back into my head and the anxiety symptoms came back again. I'm just hoping that once the medicine starts working it will get rid of these images. Paxil worked the first time I just hope the Prozac will too. Everytime i was put back on prozac it worked. I just hate waiting!! I have a 10 year old son to take care of and it's hard when i have anxiety to do that. I just really needed to tell my story and see if anyone can give me advice. I am really scared and the anxiety seems worse but then again i can't really remember how bad it was the other times. I just really wish i had never stopped taking it in the first place. This has really been a big lesson for me. Hopefully the meds will start working soon. Sorry this is so long I just really needed to vent.

Jennifer

[hangingon]

I think I know how you feel. I read an autobiography of a former gang member and it bothered me for several weeks. I wished I had never read it. I know your medication will work again, just remember that this will soon be over...just a few more days and don't go off the medication again.

[Jmh514]

Thanks for replying. I know the medicine will work. I just hate waiting. There were times yesterday that i felt better but the images still would come. I think it's because the medicine hasn't fully worked yet.


Jennifer