Hello all.

I've just joined this forum hoping to just not feel quite so alone with the constant nervousness I feel every day. That seems to be a common sentiment in this forum.

For a little background:

I'm twenty-three and about to graduate from undergraduate and start working a real-life grown-up job. I was diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD two years ago when my symptoms started to get really bad after transferring to a new college and moving to a new city. I've always been generally nervous and fretful, but as I've gotten into my early twenties things have really started to get a little out of hand.

I started seeing a psychiatrist on campus and was treated with Wellbutrin and Adderall. After two semesters I started to feel more in control of my anxiety and focus issues, and decided to go off the medication. The university informed me that they were instituting a one semester limit to mental health services for students, so this seemed like the right time to venture out on my own.

However, things have really taken a nose dive in the past few months.

I've started gaining weight, can't focus on anything at all, can't sleep, and can't seem to stop fretting about...well....everything! On a daily basis I worry about everything from whether or not my teeth look funny today to what awaits me after I die...and the topic can jump from the trivial to heavy in a moment. All the rationalization in the world doesn't really seem to help.

I'm dating a really wonderful man who got into this relationship when my symptoms were more under control last year. However, now that things have started to get out of hand, my sex drive is down, irritability and inconsistency is up, and I'm afraid I'm starting to push the limits of his incredible patience.

Unfortunately I'm having tremendous difficulty locating a psychiatrist in my town that is accepting new patients. Things are starting to get so bad that I feel like I'm just losing my grip and don't know what to do. My wonderful boyfriend and family don't seem to fully understand why I can't just relax. How can I explain to them that it just isn't as easy as that?

Sorry, I know this is long and boring, but it feels strangely therapeutic in a way to just put this out there to some folks who might have some understanding as to why simply "trying to chill out" seems like the farthest thing from achievable.

Thanks so much for reading this and I appreciate so much any comments/suggestions/criticisms you may have to share.