Day 1 - Weaning off Clonazepam

[Mila34]

Hi everyone. My name is Mila. I have been taking Celexa and Clonazepam for much longer than I ever envisioned. I used to be on 60mg Celexa and 2mg Clonazepam per day. Over the past couple years I have managed to drop the Clonazepam down to .5mg per day and have stayed there for about 2 years. I am now ready to finally try to drop the final .5mg. I am excited at the prospect of being off Clonazepam but very very nervous, as I remember how difficult it was to drop the previous doses.

So today is Day 1. Instead of taking .5mg this morning I took .25mg. I know that chemically it should not be doing anything to me yet but psychologically I am already thinking I have withdrawal symptoms. As I said I am very nervous but really want this.

I am hoping to use this post as a sort of blog to update everyone that reads (or no one at all) on my progress and perhaps get some encouraging words from all of you out there that have gone through the same. I know how important support is and I also know it is very difficult for people who have not gone through this to truly understand.

So here goes nothing!

Day 1 - Nervous but hopeful
Mila

[Mila34]

So day 1 went pretty well. I got myself out to run some errands late in the evening and it was good to get out and do things. I felt very "alert and alive" during that time but not in a negative way. Managed to have a decent sleep (I have tons of sleeping problems ever since I stopped the .5mg night dose of clonazepam 2 years ago).

Woke up this morning feeling sluggish and slow. But the weather isn't great today either. Took .25mg clonazepam again this morning. I'm expecting that in the next 24 hours my body will start physically feeling the effect of the weening since the half life can be up to 50 hours. We'll see how it goes. For now I'm trying not to think about it and trying to be productive. Easier said than done.

Day 2 - Not too bad so far!
Mila

[Mila34]

Day 3

Wow, totally sucks. I think I'm starting to experience all the symptoms of weaning off clonazepam.... i can feel my heart beating out of my chest, i cant sit still, my hands are shaky and everything just seems twitchy, and my stomach is not so normal.

I can't believe all this from dropping from .5mg to .25mg. OK, yes I know it was the same with all the other times I dropped but I was hoping this time would be different lol.

My dilemma right now is, I'm 3 days in and it is starting to suck today. Should I just drop the other .25mg now too and be more miserable but not have to go through this again with the other half if i wait? ugh, I don't know what to do.

This sssuuucckkksss. The thing I keep thinking abou though is that when its over, I will be off clonazepam for the first time in 5 years. And thats going to be a great feeling.

Day 3 - Starting to blow
Mila

[Mila34]

Thanks for the message Kev. Youre right, one day at a time. :-)

[Mila34]

So I'm on day 6, and im feeling pretty good. didnt have any nightmares last night. have a dull headache and stomach is still a little off but i feel a lot better than I did on day 3... that was the worst day.

I'm going to drop the other .25mg on Monday. Then I will be officially off clonazepam for the first time in 5 years! I know next week is going to be hard but I got through this week, just gotta remember to take it one day at a time and realize that one day it will eventually get better.

Day 6 - really proud of myself
Mila

[jimmy2shoes]

GOOD STUFF! your posts are inspiring.
Keep up the good work, you will get through this, and when you stop taking it on monday, it will be very hard, but YOU CAN DO IT!
The sensations and emotional swinging will diminish over time, so when in doubt, just believe that tomorrow can only get better
stay strong

[Mila34]

Update Day 7

Ugh, what a rough night. I was an emotional wreck from about 5pm to about an hour ago. Jimmy2shoes - emotional swinging would be exactly how I would describe it! Depressed, sad, crying, then I would be ok for a bit and then right back to it again. Normally it would have sent me right to a .5mg xanax as a supplement to calm myself down. but I am happy to report that I didn't take any xanax, and I didn't take the clonazepam.

As I sit here now, I feel like I might cry in about 2 seconds for the slightest thing, but I also know that I got through a very tough night in the middle of weaning off clonazepam which is probably when my anxiety is at its most fragile, but I still got through it without taking anything. And that's what is keeping me going right now. I made it through a really tough battle on my own defenses.

I'm hoping to just stay level with my emotions for the rest of the day and resist the urge to break out crying (which I'm very close to). Right now its not even day to day, it's minute by minute.

Day 7 - emotionally cracking but hanging in there
Mila

[jimmy2shoes]

how you doing mila?

[Mila34]

Hi everyone. Here I am on day 10. Quite an interesting couple of days.

On Sunday night I had a life changing event in my personal life. It was the perfect opportunity for a full blown panic attack that lasted for days, especially with my decreased dose. I am proud to say though that not only was I able to keep my anxiety at a tolerable level (don't get me wrong it still sucked but I cannot characterize it as an anxiety attack either), but I also did not take any xanax or increase my clonazepam again.

I did make the decision, due to these circumstances, do not drop the final .25mg on Monday and continue with my decreased dose for another week - i dont want to torture myself and push my luck and then have a setback - but I am hanging in there.

Anxiety is definitely elevated due to the event (and the medication drop), but I am very very happy that I was able to deal with such a big event on my own using the breathing techniques and positive thinking that I've been taught in therapy. Can't really ask for more than that.

I continue to struggle with side effects but I'm taking it as it comes.

Day 10 - Maybe I'm stronger than I though
- Mila

[Mila34]

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Today is the first day of completely dropping clonazepam. Here we go....

Day 13 - fingers crossed
Mila