I'm getting kind of desperate, have not found anything via Google search, shrink is sympathetic but admits that he has not ever encountered this before. I feel weirdly ashamed for even talking about this but in short:
I've had this problem for a couple years now. I'm a college student studying political science and philosophy at a good public university in the US. I'm very interested in the two subjects, generally an enthusiastic/good student but I find that I often become intensely agitated (and eventually depressed) when reading and wrestling with these issues.
It's hard to elaborate from there, which may be why I find so few people who have experienced this same thing. But to give it a go: basically, I care deeply about issues in polisci/philosophy and tend to have strong opinions about the two. Unfortunately, this means that I tend to get agitated when I read information that contradicts what I think or people who disagree with me. But it's not that I lash out at people who disagree - instead, I get extremely anxious and question myself relentlessly. I go through a cycle of "realizing" that I was "wrong" and telling myself how stupid and evil I am for thinking otherwise. I'm not religious, I don't strongly identify with any sort of ethnicity, etc. and being interested in this sort of stuff, I tend to identify myself with my viewpoint. So when I do this little routine (which happens between daily and weekly, depending on how much work I have), I feel like I don't know who I am, like I am a sham.
I should point out that I have had this "issue" with other subjects. I was very religious as a youth and went through a two year process of realizing that I no longer believed in a god. For most of 7th and 8th grade, I spent my weeks ignoring my schoolwork and torturing myself by reading Richard Dawkins etc. and scouring the internet for rebuttals or trying to write my own, before finally burning out and losing my faith in 9th grade. In high school, I was very into Ayn Rand/libertarianism and, again, went through the same process. Recently, I've swung to the left politically but am still in the midst of that process of challenge and rejection. I can even sort of trace this back to fourth and fifth grade, when I sort of realized that I had sexual urges for the first time. Being so religious, I somehow became convinced that I was going to hell for these urges. I would confess at mass (if you don't know, it's a Catholic thing...) and feel brief respite but then later that week be convinced again that I was damned. Same sort of thing, although it wasn't as much as a debate as just constant obsessive, self-hating thoughts.
I have some theories on what might the connection between all this but I'm still kind of in the dark. I've also had to take economics recently for the first time, and that may have shed some light. Economics depresses me more than anything; part of the reason, I think, is that it takes every mysterious/exciting/wonderful part of life and explains it in terms of selfishness/market exchange/money. When I talk to girls, for example, I find it hard to get my mind off the fact that I'm "maximizing my own self-interest"...I can barely tell my parents that I love them anymore because I keep telling myself that I'm only saying that because I ultimately care about myself only and want their continued emotional and financial support, and consequently I feel like both a fraud and a terrible son. Most nights end with me realizing that I've done almost none of my homework, spent all day on political/econ blogs and realizing that I don't enjoy being alive. I'm even considering switching my major to biology (which I love but have no desire for a career in) because I feel as if I just can't put up with this anymore.
On the upside, it feels good to get all this out there. I'll stop here (believe me, there's way, way more I could spew out) for now but please, if this sounds familiar to anyone...please share whatever knowledge you have. Or anything in a similar vein, obviously doesn't have to be these two subjects but any sort of self-criticism/flagellation.