I think I have compounded loads of problems over the last few years and am really starting to get pissed off now. I've only just thought about a forum for anxiety - there's a forum for everything else so why not give this a go to see what support is out there.
I'm going to bullet point my problems:
- find it difficult to make eye contact, and when I do I feel it is forced.
- I feel like I don't find anything truly funny anymore, mostly forced laughter.
- I'm 22, and never had a gf and only had one date (I believe there is an issue behind this) [n.b. have had drunken one night stands]
- I don't feel I can truly connect with anyone - even friends I have known for 10 + years, and family.
- I don't think I have ever really let out my emotions for a long long time.
- I sometimes feel a pressure or light headedness in my head, when I go out.
- In clubs and pubs I feel I can't be myself unless I have a few drinks.
- I also feel less worthy than other people, and myself and quick to judge others.
- Conversation bores me quite easily - bout 2 mins tops, and for most I feel it is a rehearsed - 'Hey how you doing'. I also find it hard to show a true smile.
So alot of issues there, anything sound familiar??
I thought the issues were fading, but tonight showed they were still there. Couldn't hold a conversation with anyone.
I admit I have taken MDMA twice in my life, and that made all these feelings disappear.