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  1. #1

    You will deal with it strategy

    Try this,
    every time you get a fear about something, tell your self that what ever happens, You will deal with it.

    So, every time you get a worry such as "What if they don't like me" or "what if the person I don't like is there" or "What if I make a fool of myself" or "What if it goes wrong" or "What if someone laughs at me" etc.

    Just tell yourself, "What ever happens, I WILL deal with it!!!"

    Most the time people worry about being judged by people who aren't half as decent as themselves anyway. And when the people are decent, then it is likely that they will not treat you badly anyway.

    The way I look at it is if a person is being nasty because in essence they are nasty, then they can go fuck them selves, and the problem is all there's, even if they are bullying you and getting people to gang up on you, remember, it is the bullies that are the bigot ass holes and not you.

    If you have done nothing wrong and people are simply picking on you with out good reason. Then you have nothing to be ashamed about. It is the bullies that should be ashamed.

    In essence, remember these words. "Fuck em!"
    Have a good day.

  2. #2

    Re: You will deal with it strategy

    In essence, remember these words. "Fuck em!"
    Have a good day.





    That's awesome. LOL!
    Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    4
    Great advice, I agree. And if you keep reminding yourself of that, eventually it will be inbuilt that you don't have to think about it anymore, it will come automatically. The way people act around you is nothing to do with what you have done, it is just them and don't take it personally. What helped me was the thought, "I'm here to do a job, not impress anyone."

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
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    US
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    It's so much easier to say though! I totally agree, but there's the part of the brain that goes, OH NO YOU WON'T! AND HERE'S WHY!

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    California
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    20
    It feels like a battle between logic and gut instinct. Logic says I'm overreacting, I will be fine, no one will judge me. Gut instinct says you are not fine, people are judging you, don't even go. And I believe gut instinct is hard to overcome, but I continue trying. I haven't given up the battle

  6. #6
    Whenever you will feel like sad just motivate yourself. Motivation is a biggest key of success. In a whole day give at least 15 minutes to yourself, think about yourself, what you are doing and why. After this discussion to yourself, you will find answers of your problems.

    _____________
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    Last edited by caera; 11-02-2011 at 05:53 AM.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Honolulu
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    328
    Quote Originally Posted by jusroc View Post
    Try this,
    every time you get a fear about something, tell your self that what ever happens, You will deal with it.

    So, every time you get a worry such as "What if they don't like me" or "what if the person I don't like is there" or "What if I make a fool of myself" or "What if it goes wrong" or "What if someone laughs at me" etc.

    Just tell yourself, "What ever happens, I WILL deal with it!!!"

    Most the time people worry about being judged by people who aren't half as decent as themselves anyway. And when the people are decent, then it is likely that they will not treat you badly anyway.

    The way I look at it is if a person is being nasty because in essence they are nasty, then they can go fuck them selves, and the problem is all there's, even if they are bullying you and getting people to gang up on you, remember, it is the bullies that are the bigot ass holes and not you.

    If you have done nothing wrong and people are simply picking on you with out good reason. Then you have nothing to be ashamed about. It is the bullies that should be ashamed.

    In essence, remember these words. "Fuck em!"
    Have a good day.
    This is one of the main tenets of CBT as you learn to counter your thoughts you must remind yourself not only that you can deal with whatever comes, but that you are dealing with it all the time anyway.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    London
    Posts
    7,090
    I read a study, that said affirming things to yourself only worked with a certain type of person. I think it was those who were in the audio category. For those that were more visual, or analytical by nature, the brain is simply too aware of being re-programmed or brain washed, and will instead simply dig up lots of reasons not to back up this claim you keep telling it.

    Interestingly, a way to bypass all of that, and shut off the brains re-programming resistance, was to use an afformation, instead of an affirmation.

    Saying "Whatever happens I will handle it" will work for some people, but it will usually only be a third. By rephrasing it slightly, to saying "Why do I manage to handle everything so easily?" it tricks the brain to, instead of creating evidence against the statement, search for evidence in favour of it.

    This then creates new neurological pathways, in which your mind will begin to store evidence of you doing everything correctly, or easily, instead of storing evidence for a struggle.

    You can create your own list of Afformations and read them expressively in front of the mirror every day. I've seen amazing changes in people. It's known as autogenic training. Relax the body using meditation or any other method, to ensure you're in the correct brain stage, and producing the correct brain waves, and then when you awaken, read your list.

    Examples would be:

    *Why am I becoming more and more open to facing my fears every day?

    *Why do I enjoy working through the pain barrier, to better my life?

    *Why do I manage to deal with setbacks easier and easier each day?

    *Why do I care less and less about peoples opinions?

    They are read like affirmations, you don't answer them.

    Those are just geneic examples, you can make them as personal as you like. If anyone wants to see my list of afformations, or wants to know more (I could write something more in details, or maybe you suspect you're not one of the 1/3 who can affirm things) send me a PM and I'll get back to you. This is a technique that really excites me, it's very useful for social anxiety too
    Last edited by jessed03; 02-07-2012 at 10:59 AM.

  9. #9
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    19
    Love it !!! Thanks for posting this.

  10. #10
    jessed 03 really interesting! and I agree affirmations don't usually work. they are just empty distracting words that don't pan out mostly

 

 

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