After highschool I married. I was going to go to college, but told myself that I'd rather get married. Although I do love my husband, I can see now that that was a bad choice since I was so young. However, I don't regret it. We moved into an upstairs apartment and after I lost my job, he was the only one working. I never left the apartment. And if I did, it was only to go to my mother's house or to ride in our car. I started noticing something was wrong when I couldn't go into stores. If I tried to, or if I did go against my will...just so my husband wouldn't question my weird behavior; I would have a panic attack. (And as all of you know, that's quite embarassing in public) Shortly after, our landlady raised our rent and since I didn't have a job, we had to move in with my parents. After that I wouldn't even step outside and if I did it was very hard to do. Finally my parents started telling me I should go to college. One weekend I just decided, okay I'm going to go. (That's usually what happens...I make snap decisions with no thoughts about it) I was excited until now. Tomorrow I start my first day and I'm flipping out. I'm still going, everything's paid for and I don't waste money.

I think the thing that bothers me the most is that I've always been dependent. First I depended on my parents and now, my husband. Tomorrow I will be alone. It's just really scary.

How can I calm myself down and get over this? Having an anxiety attack on my first day will be awful. I graduated three years ago and haven't been around more than 6 people at a time. What do I do?