I started seeing this guy. We've only been on one date so far. Obviously I didn't tell him on the first date. But I'd like him to know eventually. When/how should I tell him?
And how do you tell people, in general? Like friends? I honestly have only told one friend.
I struggled with this for a long time. I was embarrassed and nervous to tell anyone. I was worried how they would react. I don't really have any advice on how to do it, but I would highly recommend just being very open about with those who are a part of your life. Once I opened up and quit trying to do everything myself it made things MUCH easier.
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Yes, the bottom line is to open up, but you must be careful about how you do it.
With this guy, it is important to keep in mind that if you tell him pretty soon during the "lovey-dovey" phase, he might see you as needy and be scared away. If you want to tell him now, be very casual about it. Just say something like, "Sometimes I struggle with anxiety; it can be hard."
When you find you are getting a little more serious, then you can dump more of the details, and that might make or break your relationship. If he's a good guy, he'll stick with you and help you through the difficulty; if he's not such a good guy, he'll leave you to deal with it on your own.
In my experience, you will simply know the right time to dump all the gory details on him; just be patient - it'll arrive.
In the meantime, attempt to do this with you family and close friends. It will help a ton to have others aware of your difficulty, instead of trying to do it yourself.
Dan Stelter is the founder of
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a website designed specifically to help people recover from social anxiety disorder. Dan is a lifelong anxiety sufferer who is successfully managing his condition.
What do you want to tell him?? Do you take meds?? I dont think you should have to untill it gets serious. I have only told one person and I dont know if I should tell anyone else. Im embarrased by it.
im with candle on this
its not something that i tell anyone about other than a doctor or counceller
some of the reasons being embarrasment, i dont want people feeling pity for me and i dont want people asking me all the time are you ok ? thats only adds to my anxiety, there are a lot of people out there who dont understand anxiety or mental illnesses and are too quick to judge and label people.
on the other hand in your case if this guy is someone you feel you can really trust and what to be with for a while , it might help you to let him know of it, will be a relief off your shoulders and if he is understanding and accepting im sure he will support you
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