Who played a big part in the development of your SA?

[misunderstood0412]

I think it was a combination of it all. I believe it started initially when my parents divorced 21years ago when I was 4. I was a happy kid and from then on things just seemed weird. In elementary school I wouldnt do my school work even though I was really smart. I would follow the teacher around the classroom and things like that. In middle school I was so nervous around other kids that I became the social outcast and didnt have a lot of friends. In high school I became a perfectionist to the point of not getting things done because they had to be so perfect, which ultimately resulted in bad grades.

My mom focused ALOT on me because I was an only child and she never even dated after my dad. I felt under a microscope all the time and felt like everything I did had to be perfect and had to feel well behaved. I didnt see my dad much because he would cancel to do other things like go golfing and it made me feel not good enough. The rest of my family thought I was weird. My family has their own list of issues and I just always felt alone or not part of the family most of the time. I think feeling like your family didnt except you was the worst part and thats why I finally chose other family.

[misunderstood0412]

By the way, I really do love my mom and I dont think anyone else could have put up with every thing and my family is its own ball of quirks and fun.

[jklivin]

My family especially my parents.. "Your lazy, you'll never amount to anything etc etc.. talk about closet children could put my picture next to the description in the dictionary!!! we could not date and after school activities where slim to none.. and of course the "children should be seen and not heard" mentality! Not to mention spankings, belt whipping, soap in mouth, kick in the butt so hard my spine hurt etc.

[scared44]

I can relate to the both of you :-( it makes me very sad,angry! Im nearly 45yrs old now and have been suffering since I was 12yrs old.....I remember being put down from a very early age by my Father and to this day he still puts me down? My family think panic attaks,anxiety,depression ect are nothing but an excuse and cop out......how wrong they are! Just remember it is real and if they cant see that then its there problem not yours. Take care....Beverley :-)

[Alex010096]

Reading all of your stories makes me feel like I'm not alone, so thank you all. <3
I'd have to say my anxiety and social anxiety come from a few different places. I am definitely a perfectionist. I wanted to have something to make my Dad proud of me because my parents are divorced and I never got to see him growing up. I would get straight A's to impress him. I still have that mentality in university, even though we don't talk anymore because he does not support the fact that I am a lesbian.
My mom's next husband was emotionally abusive. Luckily, he is not in our lives anymore.
My first girlfriend definitely built on these issues by belittling me, and abusing me in every way possible.

[angelina1]

I think it was my older brother and sister cause they was always calling me stupid when I was younger and said that I was never going to make it in this world.

[Alex010096]

It's wonderful to hear that you are working on your anxiety. You're going to not only prove your siblings wrong, but surprise yourself by your achievements in life, I think.

[scared44]

My Father!!!! :-(

[angelina1]

thank you. And you are right. I have achieved so much in life. My daughters my husband, and graduating from college. I did all the things they thought I could not do. And to this day my older sister is still a 42 year old bitter, never married spinster. But my husband never suffered from anxiety so he don't understand what anxiety does to a person. That's why I am glad I found this site.

[Alex010096]

Scared44, what did your father do, if you'd like to share?