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View Poll Results: Who played a big part in the development of your SA?

Voters
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  • parent(s)

    75 32.47%
  • other family member(s)

    18 7.79%
  • peers (friends, classmates, coworkers, etc)

    97 41.99%
  • opposite sex (in general)

    21 9.09%
  • same sex (in general)

    3 1.30%
  • other(s)

    17 7.36%
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Results 31 to 40 of 121
  1. #31
    Junior Member
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    May 2010
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    BC
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    11

    bullies

    I almost completely attribute to the fact I was bullied a lot. I was small for my age and a bit shy, so I was a target in school. It didn't help that my well-meaning parents told me to 'ignore it.' It seems so strange that there is so much talk these days about the effect bullies have on children, but when I was growing up, there was next to none.

  2. #32
    Junior Member
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    Jul 2010
    Location
    melbourne australia
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    4

    nature vs nuture

    it always comes back to the age old argument of nature vs nuture. Some people will go through everything we went thru as children and still come out the end standing tall with no anxiety in the world. others may only need one little thing in their childhood to make them like us.

    unfortunately out parents will always play a part in our behaviour, beliefs and values whether or not we hate them so much we do the exact opposite or whether we pick parts of their behaviour that makes us feel good and model ourselfs on that.

    the sad thing is that i think for me it was a combination of things in my childhood mixed wiith my genetics as both my grandmother (is extremly high stung) and her father was also high strung due to being a prisinor of war. I do believe being the first born has also effected me cos im the eldest of 5 and with that comes perfectionism, alot of responsibility and your parents being "harder" on you because ur the first one. I felt at times that i had alot to live upto and it is this that feeds the anxiety, behaviours and beliefs.

    Its only now that im realising that the person who sets these extremly high standards and beliefs about who i should be is only myself and it is the anxiety i get when i dont perform to my own standards,,,

    always nature & nuture.

  3. #33
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    4
    pills are the cure to anxiety, theyre just perfect, on and off, they help me and make me forget about my anxiety and help me lead a normal life.
    i feel blessed because ive got 100's of valium, ativan and xanax. i help some of my friends if they cant sleep. someone add me please, wana talk to someone
    [email protected]

  4. #34
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    1
    My mother, definitly. And the psychological bullying I suffer at school.

  5. #35
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    East Bay
    Posts
    1,027
    Quote Originally Posted by sashee7 View Post
    it always comes back to the age old argument of nature vs nuture. Some people will go through everything we went thru as children and still come out the end standing tall with no anxiety in the world. others may only need one little thing in their childhood to make them like us.
    Remember, there are other environmental factors to consider besides the way one was treated as a child by others. I know that, for me, unusual childhood interests played a HUGE part in my social problems. I was actually NOT a very shy child - perhaps even a little better than average when it came to 'outgoingness'. But the sort of things I was interested in were a problem. Not necessarily because they were just SO bad or weird. They just weren't very age appropriate (think working with tools, automotive work, building stuff, exploring nature, etc rather than playing sports, playing with toys, or getting into various movies or TV shows). Because I just didn't have any interest in the things that most kids did, I wasn't able to connect with other kids. And I never learned the social skills I should have while growing up. Another factor that undoubtly had a negative effect on my social development was my low 'social drive' as a preteen. Simply put, I didn't seem to care a whole lot about going out and making friends (although I certainly DID enjoy the few friends I had at the time). It wasn't until I hit puberty that I suddenly actually wanted to meet people. But by then, I was already WAYY behind other people my age when it came to social skills.
    Last edited by Robbed; 04-13-2011 at 04:51 AM.

  6. #36
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    2
    School kids mostly, I was an overweight child, so I was constantly picked on from a young age, bullied, etc.

    My brother, who's older than I, also took part in my early teens because he used to get jealous of the fact I talked to his friends when they visited, so he would bully me in front of them.

    My earliest memory of developing SAD was in middle school, so around the age of 10, I started keeping to myself, not going out during the summer or holiday periods, I never had any close friends

    It didn't get any better through the rest of my life, I started working in the NHS, my first real job after leaving school and my "tutor", happened to be an ex navy officer, who, like a bad parent, kept putting me down over and over, belittling me in front of others because I was overweight, the management didn't care that it was happening, I ended up leaving the job with severe depression/anxiety.

  7. #37
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    31
    I believe I have three main causes for my anxiety but the biggest one was my mother.
    She tried to drown me in a lake literally, she treated me like an animal(forced me to us a bucket instead of the toilet inside, frequently picked on me,ect.), and she forced me to wear a private school uniform to public school(to name a few) which brings me to the second body of people who have helped cause my SA, school children. From late elementary school until after I was accepted to college I was abused a variety of ways. One guy in middle school was particularly bad. He would pick on me everyday on the bus by putting bag over my head, stealing my stuff, and taunting.
    My sisters, the oldest and the third sister, liked to band together when they didn't get their way and do all sorts of things.

  8. #38
    Junior Member
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    Aug 2011
    Location
    Finland
    Posts
    3
    Classmates... I was teased at school all of my kindergarten and primary school.

  9. #39
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    England
    Posts
    3
    Um hi I'm new . My parents, sister and classmates from primary and secondary school, I never really fit in anywhere and all of the attention at home was focused on my sister so i had to learn to cope on my own which made me withdraw from social interaction i guess :/

  10. #40
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    North Yorkshire, UK
    Posts
    29

    Thumbs up No regrets

    My lovely Mum - who was so determined to 'enjoy' me when I was a baby that she kept me almost entirely to herself - I wasn't really socialised pre-school and my most abiding early childhood memory is of my first day at school - I was in a state of complete separation anxiety and got into trouble with the teacher for bawling my eyes out and not having a handkerchief! I don't blame my Mum, though - she only meant well - and even though I suffered from social anxiety until my middle years, I don't think it's helpful to dwell on causes - I'm into solutions and making the most of this precious present moment, which is really all we've got - yesterday's gone and tomorrow never comes, so no point in dwelling on regrets or worries about the future.
    Stop Anxiety Ruling Your Life!
    http://www.anxietytherapies.com

 

 

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