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View Poll Results: Who played a big part in the development of your SA?

Voters
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  • parent(s)

    75 32.47%
  • other family member(s)

    18 7.79%
  • peers (friends, classmates, coworkers, etc)

    97 41.99%
  • opposite sex (in general)

    21 9.09%
  • same sex (in general)

    3 1.30%
  • other(s)

    17 7.36%
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Results 101 to 110 of 121
  1. #101
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    San Diego
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    1
    I honestly think that it's the way I was raised and the personality of my family. I didn't exactly grow up in the best environment and my childhood was far from perfect, but despite my fear of being like my parents, we are very similar in that way. My childhood definitely contributed to my anxiety, but it's just an added bonus to my personality. Both of my parents enjoy being alone. I didn't grow up around a huge family or a connected community. My parents, although separated, both enjoy being by themselves. Most of my childhood was spent just hanging out with my little brother. He was literally the only person in the world that I needed to be happy. I've never liked being around other kids because I didn't really need them. The anxiety of it started because I was dorky and weird and I wasn't very pretty, so I was made fun of a lot. I think my personality and my anxiety just kind of developed together into this big jumbled mess to the point where I don't know what is me and what is anxiety. It's a bit tricky, actually.

  2. #102
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    2
    My father, who always let me down at any opportunity he had; for years I thought I wasn't worthy of him and even though I know that thought is wrong now, the feeling is still there. And my classmates, who teased me for being shy... which just made me more shy.

  3. #103
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    california
    Posts
    8
    I feel my mother did. She protected me from everything and anything that may hurt me. She is just as weak and has her own anxieties. Also, my self doubt. My lack of confidence. Not ever knowing what to say. I still believe its because my mom protected me so much.

  4. #104
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Posts
    5
    For me, it's both parents and peers. My parents did the best they could, but it wasn't enough to keep me sane apparently. My mother never trusted me (with the opposite sex), was ultra conservative and my father was an alcoholic. Both my parents never really showed me much affection. Mind you, they provided for us and were very good parents otherwise. They are much better now, especially with their grandkids. They are loving and have changed in so many ways.

    I was also very much affected by my peers at various points in my life. I was always left out (mainly because I was an awkward child) and always found myself feeling alone.

  5. #105
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    CA,USA
    Posts
    555
    I did sports as a youth and a child too. I think it all started around the time I began performing routines in front of others besides myself, like coaches , and dance teachers, and then began worrying about feeling fat in my outfits while performing in front of others too.Then I just had this feeling ever since that time i think?????

  6. #106
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1
    My parents. Both were alchoholics when I lived at home. They were constantly fighting (also physically), especially on the weekends. It escalated more and more the older I got. And they would often use me against each other (Im an only child). My dad would often come to my room, completely drunk, wanting to talk about their relationship and try and win me over on his side. I would frequently run away from home, just to get away from it all. I once found a knife under their bed on my moms side. My dad confessed he cheated on my mom once and all hell broke loose and only worsened it even more. Times like that I wished I had a brother or a sister.

  7. #107
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    2
    I'm think my mother has some degree of anxiety disorder, and possibly passed it on to me (Not sure how heritable it is). She has had night terrors, complains about sleepless nights before we go on family trips, and has stated often that she can't just relax. I think it has caused some outbursts when my siblings were younger. My brother was somewhat rebellious. My father seems to be a bit shy and doesn't socialize much without my mom setting it up, but I don't pretend to completely understand how they feel.

    I do know with certainty that I always felt the need to do everything right, for fear of disapproval or getting yelled at. I was terrified of being found out if I made a mistake, so I tended to hide away or let someone else take the brunt of the blame (generally my brother) by simply not owning up. Later on this led to a silent rebellion, I simply just stopped caring if I did something less than the best or illegal (when I went to college). My relationship to my parents has only improved over the years, but I still think my early childhood partially led to my current mix of social/ general anxiety and mild depression.

    To be fair, I don't know for sure, but thinking it through will eventually help me to reconcile my condition and allow me to speak more openly about it.

  8. #108
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    20
    My parents, my relatives, my friends, my teachers, everyone! I just didn't belong... I was always different, and they resented me for that. Always pushed me aside... I wanted to be with people, but they didn't really like me. Later in life I have realized this. They kept calling me names, making excuses, but they just simply did not like me! Maybe it was because my hobbies were different, my favorite games, movies, music. What else is there at school when you can't really connect through favorites? Or gossip! It is part of my weak side. I can't really follow the story, all those names, dates, who said what, what they did when... Whew!
    Last edited by BerryBamboo; 06-16-2016 at 10:09 PM.

  9. #109
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    My Own Little World
    Posts
    181
    Alright. I'll try this again.

    *cracks knuckles*

    Well, I've been shy and socially awkward for as long as I can remember. I faced a lot of rejection in school. I was made to feel horrible for being different. So I gave up trying to be accepted and tried to stay to myself as much as possible. I just tried to stay out of the way and get through the day without being humiliated. Quite a few days I just avoided going to school altogether because of the way my peers teased and shunned me. Didn't feel strong enough to face it. I would hide at home. My mom didn't really push the issue. I'd say I didn't feel like I could go to school and she'd basically just be like "alright." Back to sleep I went. Sometimes she'd tell me I should make an effort to go, but she never pushed me to go. She knew how difficult it was for me and I guess she felt she was protecting me in a way by letting me stay home. Avoidance was the only way I knew to protect myself. It didn't help to protect me as much as it made things even more awkward when I needed to interact with my peers.

  10. #110
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    La La Land
    Posts
    1
    Growing up I always had self-esteem issues however, they never prevented me from living a "normal" life. Everything went downhill after I was laid off from my job, a couple of years back. I had avoided working at that place because i knew how things were run....either nepotism or you kissed a** and brought the next person down to survive. I knew from day 1, i was not welcome there..apparently I was referred by my former boss with high praise and great references, I say this because of a remark from the office manager. Long story short, it was a small office, and as mentioned i was made clear my presence there was not wanted but, i needed the job as i was attending a university to further my education. The office manager and the other girl working there were BFF's. i hated that place, and forced myself everyday out of bed. I had to put up with snarky rude comments about me, and my family from both of them but mostly my coworker, on a daily basis. They were mostly backhanded compliments, and would be criticized for everything from what i wore to what i bought. They'd go into each others office to talk trash about everyone, and whenever the general manager would go in, the office manager would complain and speak badly of other employees not because of their work ethic but because she personally disliked them. I knew i was hanging by a thread because towards the end, I started to show i was not happy with my treatment. The saddest part was that I got laid off, and they favored my coworker who could barely speak english and was less qualified. My self-esteem plummeted, and became depressed. I hated myself, and made myself believe i was inadequate and incompetent. I feel that way still, I basically hate myself, for believing that and not being able to get away from that dark cloud over me. The worst part is no one understands, whenever i tell my parents i'm tired i get the whole "tired?! you din't do anything" because obviously becoming an empty shell of yourself, with no type of social life, no friends or job was my main goal in life.

 

 

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