One of my tutors at university during my first year.
Started with my older brother and sister, always bringing me down, bullying me, being physically abusive..
Then it went to school "friends" in high school, being... Well, frankly, terrible friends. I was always the "friend" who got left out, ignored and forgotten about.
Then hormones began to kick in and as my incredibly bad social anxiety was obviously recognised as me being a weirdo I was always the one without a boyfriend, without any love interest whatsoever until 8 months after my 18th birthday.
Now all that is gone, I stand up to my brother and sister.. I have forgotten about the shitty friends, and I am madly in love with my first boyfriend... However it still does (quite obviously) affect my day to day life. I may have learnt how to hide it at the best of times but it is still there, and worse than ever.
My brother, who abused me physically and sexually for 8 years.
Such bravery here. Thank you all. I have been there too. There is a way through, you too will find it. It's your way and unlike mine, but you will have no trouble finding it just in time.
Peace
"The One you are looking for, is the One looking."
---Gene Allen----
For me it's lots of people and events.
My mam died when I was 3, my grandma when I was 4.
My dad turning to alcohol after my mam died.
My uncle abusing me physically from age 7 for 7 years, I was raped at 13, fell pregnant from that and lost the baby.
Married an alcoholic suffered years because of that. But he has turned his life around and is doing amazing now. He gives me strength and courage.
But I try not to dwell on those things I feel I'm stronger because of them and I no people have been through a lot worse. But they did all definitely contribute towards my anxiety.
Hannah
My parents played a huge role in my anxiety. My mother is extremely controlling and my dad is a workaholic. Although I do not believe they are the sole cause of my anxiety, being subjected to this from a young age defiantly worsened my anxiety/depression. Ever since my parents divorce when I was 10 years old, the situation has only worsened.
Ahh, that would be my best friend from childhood. Suddenly, as we entered middle school, she decided she wanted to start hanging out with a "cooler" crowd. Unfortunately, this involved ditching me at malls and saying some pretty harsh things when she thought I couldn't here. Ah, well. We've both grown into two entirely different people since then, and I hold no grudges. I probably should have been less dependent on her for social interaction anyway. Kids will be kids!
I'm a newbie here, so hi.
The main person who contributed to my worry and anxiety was an elementary (primary) school teacher.
It started when a few of my friends and I were knocking on the staff room window to get to talk to a student teacher in there. Mrs B saw what we were doing and came
out to yell at who was knocking. I ran away and so wasn't caught at that time, but Mrs B investigated and got some of my friends to tell on me...
So a week later I was called into her classroom and yelled at in front of all the other kids.. I had no idea what she was talking about (as it was a week later) and what 8 year old remembers that?
Anyway, this woman was scary, tall, short red hair and bright blue eyes that popped out of her head when she screamed. I was absolutely paralyzed with fear and from that momenton became afraid to do anything wrong, lest I be called into her classroom again and screeched at. So after that I began to get stomach aches and would have to go to the sick bay all the time... Eventually my parents would have to be called to collect me, so I missed a bit of school. Being a kid, I thought it was my fault and that i was bad and that I was being watched and monitored all the time... Because I felt that i couldn't talk about this with anyone so my anxiety and worry just got out of control and has followed me into adulthood.
I have social phobia, I am in recovery from alcohol (2 and a half years), have a fear of flying, heights, elevators, bridges, and small confined places. I'm trying hard to overcome all my phobias and anxieties but it's exhausting most of the time. This is why i used to drink until that became a problem too, so now I just try to live through it and occasionally I take valium when it gets too bad. Like today for example.
Last edited by Xara77; 07-19-2014 at 09:45 AM.