I think it was a combination of it all. I believe it started initially when my parents divorced 21years ago when I was 4. I was a happy kid and from then on things just seemed weird. In elementary school I wouldnt do my school work even though I was really smart. I would follow the teacher around the classroom and things like that. In middle school I was so nervous around other kids that I became the social outcast and didnt have a lot of friends. In high school I became a perfectionist to the point of not getting things done because they had to be so perfect, which ultimately resulted in bad grades.
My mom focused ALOT on me because I was an only child and she never even dated after my dad. I felt under a microscope all the time and felt like everything I did had to be perfect and had to feel well behaved. I didnt see my dad much because he would cancel to do other things like go golfing and it made me feel not good enough. The rest of my family thought I was weird. My family has their own list of issues and I just always felt alone or not part of the family most of the time. I think feeling like your family didnt except you was the worst part and thats why I finally chose other family.