Im a 20 year old male whose been suffering with a big problem for so long. Bear with me cus im writin this as it comes to me.
I have been sufferin with a problem since i was 15. I have always been acutely afraid of the opposite sex and i always become nervous around girls i like. I fear what people think of me all the time especially at work and with women. Ive never had a girlfriend and only had sex once whilst drunk cus thats the only time i have courage to do so.
My dad suffers from pure ocd and had it pretty bad (even being hospitalised for it when he was younger). I suffered from panic attacks from the age of 15 and i was scared that my body was damaged or i might have to go to hospital for something. After this i didnt have panic attacks often but i would get scared bout many things. After watchin a film called constantine i became terrified that i might be haunted by the devil. I knew this not to be totally tru but it still scared me. Im an athiest now but every now and again i can get scared that this might still happen. I get nervous about how many hours i get to sleep for and i occasionally have problems gettin to sleep, although this used to be a big problem for me. When times were really bad i used to hear background noises at night like a plane travelling overhead or the sound of rain even when there wasnt any.*
Today i cant seem to muster the courage to get a girlfriend for fear of not performing sexually or not knowing what to do with one. I still fear the devil occasionally and im worried about what others think about me. Im worried about killing myself from smoking or drinkin or that a doctor will say im untreatable and will have to go to hospital.
Whats wrong with me? I need your help, ive never been diagnosed or gone to see my GP.