I feel like I have just reached the lowest point of my life to date.
Last night I was laying in bed trying to get to sleep when I got hammered by a panic attack. This was when I was on medication, no less. After that my body was so amped up on adrenalin that I couldn't sleep.
Today I have been mentally fatigued due to lack of sleep. The anxiety really took hold this afternoon, and I had nothing left to keep me fighting.
I NEED a good sleep tonight if I'm to have any chance of getting out of this cycle, but here I am laying awake again. Same thing happened... laying in bed trying to sleep and BAM... panic attack. I have taken herbal sedatives and prescription sleeping pills but I STILL feel like I've just drank 10 red bulls.
This is the start of a very destructive cycle. I know it is. But I am powerless to do anything about it. My meds aren't working. My sleeping pills aren't working. Herbal sedatives aren't working. I just need some sleep to give me a fighting chance.
I am already in-and-out of derealisation, and everywhere I look I see a black spot in my right eye. This is driving me batshit crazy. What other symptoms are going to pop up tomorrow if I have another sleepless night?
Ok... I'm done venting. Just needed to get this out of my head and onto some other medium. Now... glass of milk and back to bed.