here my story: 5 years ago I started partying, including alcohol and a lot of other substance abuses. I'd say 2 years of heavy substance abuse (every weekend with we usually from Thursday-Sunday). A few times I had to check myself into ER, because of OD or an upcoming feeling of anxiety that I thought I'd die of a heart attack/stroke or go crazy. I think it was more the anxiety than really an OD. So in Fall 2007- Jan 2008 I partied a lot, but without any symptoms of anxiety, after partying I knew I could always resort to drink more wine have some Xanax and just relax and make myself cozy. Then when I stopped abruptly I started to feel weird, I didn't even realized what was going on. First I was just under constant tension with a very rapid heartbeat, when I tried to study things got really weird. I couldnt concentrate at all, I had the feeling that I have to study and understand everything faster and I was totally impatient and restless. During studying my heartbeat jumped up, I got dizzy I felt like losing control over myself, I had to leave the library and walk home in the cold, tried to breath slowly to calm down, I was pretty sure I was about to die from a heart attack or stroke. This lasted for three months, at night I couldnt fall asleep, because my heart was still bumping so I started to drink wine every other day to knock me out. The results of my exams from that time were the worst ever. I got me some Valiums to make it through the exams, I was so anxious taking the exams, one time I was about to blackout seriously. I was all sweaty thought I wouldnt complete the exam in time and rushed through it. After it I was lightheaded, dizzy and felt like I had run a marathon. During spring break I started to party again, first it was weird even when I was drinking or consuming other things I was anxious, but somehow being around my old friends helped me to get rid of it, although not totally. After April 2008 the attacks faded, but every time I went out partying I was pretty anxious the next day so I had to prepare myself with wine+ sleep aid. At the end of the last year I abused a lot of substances including benzos without much fun, I regarded it more as a mandatory social event, because I knew how I would feel the next day. I have to mention that I'm not going out without benzos or beta blocker handy. Now I have my final project at the university and I couldnt concentrate at the beginning. When I'm in class I fear that I might faint in front of the class, I can't follow what the professor says, my heart is bumping so fast, I'm constantly thinking if I have to leave the classroom to get some water or take a Valium. I started the habit to drink a LOT! I had the feeling once that it made my dizziness go away, sometimes I drink more than 2gallons/day. I'm also very nervous, fidgeting the whole time, even my mom noticed that lately. Even the slightest feeling in my head or chest induces fear. I've seen a cardiologist a couple times, but he said everythings fine. I got me some adderalls so I thought I could concentrate better, the first days where just amazing, I just had to focus on my work, but today was horrible. It started as I was not totally paying attention to my work and procrastinating(chatting with friends, facebook, etc.) I had the feeling in my subconsciousness that I don't get my work done and there was something building up inside me. I started to get dizzy, my heartrate increased, so I stopped everything else and tried to focus on my work, but I had reached a point of no return. I thought I'd die, I experienced shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, dry mouth, dizziness, I dressed up ran outside to get some fresh air, but it didnt help, so I went back in to do some research on the internet what to do by an adderall OD, although I took them 5hours ago and not that much. So I was thinking about taking beta blockers or a valium to calm down, but I couldnt find anything about contraindication, so taking it would prolly just made me even more anxious to die of crazy side effects. So I laid down in bed tried to breath through the nose and after a while I could feel my heart wasnt bumping that fast anymore and I could relaxe. It was just such a great feeling achieving this w/o any chemical help. Later during class I was anxious again, because of another attack with the aforementioned thoughts again, so stupid, but I can't help it!
Omg what a long text :roll: :roll: