Severe Phobia of Relationships? o.O

[samara]

I've just signed up here, It would be great to get some opinions. I've had chronic anxiety in the past, but luckily I seem to have gotten over nearly everything that freaks me out except one thing.

Is it common to get such bad anxiety over relationships when you have GAD? I honestly can't even talk to *anyone* who I don't know expressing an interest in me, I get really horribly nervous, feel completely cornered, and spend every second feeling like I want to run as far away as possible. If by chance, I either tell myself to stop being stupid or get drunk enough to let anyone near me I shake absolutely uncontrollably and can't stop. If I can stick this out for a few days then I seem to be okay, I guess I settle down, but it's not fair on anyone because more often than not I end up hiding and ignoring the person for weeks on end, even though it's not their fault. And I can't imagine how awful it is to have someone actually shaking in your prescence, no matter how much I apologize >.>.

Even though I would only ever go out with someone I actually knew for awhile beforehand rather than randoms it doesn't numb the anxiety any. It's at the point where it's a real problem and it's driving me nuts.

[danstelter]

Well, this seems to be quite a tough problem for you. I used to have similar problems, but I am a SAD sufferer, although I think GAD came in at times. How did I get over it? I kept trying. I kept doing it over and over. I talked to friends when things were not going well or when I felt burned out and they encouraged me or helped me to think in reality, not in anxiety. Asking people at this forum is a good start.

Another good option may be to seek a counselor. I saw a counselor once for a few months and found it VERY helpful, and it was not nearly as frightening as I thought it would be. I also learned over time which type of girl to go for. The anxiety-provoking ones for me were the shallow/party girl types who get all the attention from them and manipulate the living daylights out of them. Eventually, I found that a down-to-earth, relaxed, and honest personality fit best with me, so that is what I went after, and now I have a very pretty and kind girlfriend (soon to be fiance) to show for it! So, just keep at it, and if there is some root issue, such as a fear of intimacy, that is causing this difficulty, a professional counselor can help you discover that. Good luck and continue to ask questions if you have difficulty!

[dtrotter]

Another good option may be to seek a counselor. I saw a counselor once for a few months and found it VERY helpful, and it was not nearly as frightening as I thought it would be.

Actually, seeking someone to talk about your problem is better than going straight and ask for medication or some sorts.

[fernandogress]

May be the person has been emotionally wounded several times and suffers from the trauma of getting involved into a relationship once more.
However, there are some simple steps, which will definitely help you to overcome relationships phobia. These include:

#Try to slow yourself down and spend some time in deciding how should you get on well with other people. Talk less.
#You must try and understand the frame of reference of another person.
#Fear of relationships happen when a person fails to understand true intimacy.
#Give yourself some time to grow and flourish from within. First, what is necessary is self-identification. Know yourself and try to be intimate with your own entity before trying to know others.
#Reveal the truths about yourself in a most decent way. Do not ever keep things untold and unspoken because this may create a barrier between you and your partner.