perception is becoming a blur

[salvator here]

So...

False alarm ... turns out is was a case of smudges on my glasses. So I picked up some heavy duty glasses wipes at the local Hubba Hubba market discount store and - Boomshakalaka - problem solved and no more blurry vision. Just in case I made a emergency appointment appointment with this dude to get the eyes checked.


Ponder, we were getting too deep anyway and would just confuse others. I think I get it and I'm OK with it.

So, I'm going to bring this back to a thread for me about perception of reality during this time and just getting through and hopefully things will clear up for me soon. I put this in the agoraphobia forum as this is the issue at hand. Oh please, life is so messy and blurry and if I'm feeling it or going through it, it IS real to me and I'll just have so go with it and not fight it; as you said my friend.

K ... Wed 24th already. Admittedly, I've lost some days in between with no memory whatsoever. Started marking the calendar so I don't get shocked when I turn on the computers and think the date is wrong.

Ugh .. but must get started today and just exist in my own bubble where thing do still make some sense.

[Ponder]

I'd like to think I understand Sal. I'll be here when you get back

[salvator here]

Ugh .. made it through one holiday - one down two more to go (x-mas and nye). I feel awful and the sadness manifested into nausea and weakness.

But I'm here, about all I can say.

Watched the thanksgiving day parade ... hurl ... glad I'm removed from society actually. I don't know.

[Ponder]

'hurl' - Love the expression. I must remember that one. Is all good. We can start our own cult but we just make sure we don't call it a group. So glad your here. Just pretend the seasons does not exist. "Xmas! What on earth is Xmas??? I've never heard of such a thing. I'll have plastic bad to go with that please. TY!"

EDIT: Just read above (lol) and I am right behind you with whatever direction you want to take. Understand well. I'm also trying to keep on track and make healthy decisions Good Call Sal. Thank you.

[salvator here]

The blur has turned to complete haze, however, that is usual for this time of year, so I'm not totally shocked.

Going to write in the morning.

Sort of thinking about sending Nicola a nice PM at the other place and ask for (yet another) username change (that would be the 2nd time), but I partly feel like why. Maybe, we'll see, I do miss it somewhat and there is no other place I would fit in anyway.

Just going to carry on here for the remainder of this month. Please don't feel as if I'm expecting anything, honestly, there isn't much anybody could say anyway. Just whatever right now. I don't know. Wherever you go - there you are.

[salvator here]

ON a side note: I"m REALLY enjoying Emmabuntüs

[Ponder]

Is Emmabuntüs a Linux distro your talking about? I hear Linux is getting easier with easier passing year.

Hey Sal - I pass the below link on ... Just found it after your saying 'Wherever you go - there you are.'
TRUST We nay find it hard to trust this world and most of that which is in it ... but we can do things to instill a sense of trust in ourselves and those others we wish to close to. In that I will always try to be around.

Back to you

[salvator here]

Like ... OMG ... I'm truly feeling this

[salvator here]

Well .. somebody is coming by today and I'm expected to go to the village to see my fish friends and hopefully Starbucks

I've not been outside in quite some time but I agreed to it. I feel very award in public around people now and very shaky. I'm finding people scary and I don't trust anybody at all now.

[salvator here]

Going now .... will report back later.

Take care everyone