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  1. #11
    Peter's Conscience
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    Peter Ross Anderson

    Weird flex, but OK...
    Thanks for bumping the thread anyway.

  2. #12
    Peter's Conscience
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    Peter Ross Anderson

    Awww, Peter has it come to this?
    Am I the only one who acknowledges you?
    You so desperately crave someone to talk at don't you, that even insults from strangers on the internet are preferable the vast miserable desolate emptiness of your life?
    All those threads you start on the few forums you're not banned from: "0 Replies".

    "Fatty boom boom"? Is that some self-deprecating humour - I'm kinda impressed, I didn't think you had that much metacognitive capacity to be honest. Have you been looking in a mirror recently (or do they all crack when you come near)?
    You look like a fucking Mr Men mate.

    I mean you've always had that reanimated-corpse vibe about you - but now it looks like you've been at the bottom of a lake for a few years and you're undergoing saponification and turning into a lump of adipocere (which ironically is as close to soap as you're likely to get). Seriously, I hear Capcom have been screenshotting your videos as reference material for NPC models for their next RE instalment - Resident Evil: Greendykes House. Unfortunately now you've deleted your channel again, they're just going to have to get a load of rancid badger cum, smear it on a turd, and use that as a substitute - I mean it's close enough, isn't it?

    I'd tell you to fuck off back to... but who would you go to... I mean, Frank yeeted himself to 'Dundee', you've blocked your sister, your mum has had enough of your shite, your dad just wants to punch your lights out, Ponder's blocked you, that crazy jailbait's gone, and you've deleted your youtube channel (again) so you can't even scream into the void any more.
    Honestly, sometimes it must feel like your life is just a colostomy bag filled with shite, and the seal has burst so it's just slowly leaking shite, dribbling down your side prolonging the pain.

    But don't be downhearted by all this Peter - I sense a change coming.
    I'm looking into the future, and I see a change of circumstances...
    Yes a new place to live...
    With three meals a day...
    en-suite toilet..
    a room mate (who may or may not try to set you on fire)...
    Ohh! Nearly forgot! Stern men, and women in uniforms - you like that femdom shit don't you (remember not to try stalking them on social media this time though).
    Top tip: if you pretend you're smuggling drugs they'll do a cavity search for you. Oh yeah baby.
    You never know - if you maintain your normal level of obsessive ranting, you might even get a free trip to to see a dentist
    Best of all if you want to take a beating, you won't have to pay anyone, you'll get all that sub/humiliation stuff for free. (You're probably getting excited about this already, aren't you - eyes glazing over as you stare at your phone as it sits on that wee blue elephant)
    Most of all, you'll finally be somewhere you really fit in - have a sense of belonging. I feel like you'll really fit in and feel at home there.

    And they have lightbulbs in all the sockets.
    Last edited by PeterAndersonIsARacist; 11-20-2021 at 12:30 PM. Reason: fixing Peter's photo

  3. #13
    Peter's Conscience
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    Peter Ross Anderson

    If you've been missing Peter's forays into filmmaking, given that his ability to keep a channel up seems to be as limited as his ability to maintain an erection, then fear not, we have you covered.
    His sister seems willing continue to act as his enabler and help inflict his 'acting' on the world here:
    https://www.youtube.com/user/mariewishing/videos

    If that's not enough to tide you over, he also has a selection of self made and pirated material on his Vimeo here.
    https://vimeo.com/user97561585
    and bizarrely on his user profile here:
    https://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/i...core_pfield_11

    How he has not won a BAFTA or been snapped up my a major Hollywood studio is a complete mystery; clearly a dark conspiracy at work.
    It's like watching Pacino and De Niro in their prime. (Is watching this what it feels like having a stroke, I wonder).
    Seriously though, no wonder Frank went into hiding. What constantly astounds me is that he actually promotes this stuff rather than trying to bury it. If ever Dunning Kruger needed an exemplar, here it is.

  4. #14
    Peter's Conscience
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    Peter Ross Anderson

    The thing I realised about Peter's dabbling in film is that it has disturbing parallels with his "sex life":

    • It's virtually non-existent, but he nevertheless tries endlessly to talk to strangers on the internet about it;
    • When it does happen, it's deeply awkward, humiliating and embarrassing for all concerned;
    • Mostly it's just him, sorting himself out alone at home, but sometimes he wanders down to the park at night to do it;
    • On the rare occasions it involves other people he's had to pay for it, but even then he doesn't get what he wants and it's just some fleeting appearance at the rear;
    • Afterwards, he just can't let it go, but they never return his calls;
    • It works best when viewed as some sort of satire, but ultimately, nobody wants to see it;
    • He really wishes he could do it with Sylvester Stallone.

    I really hope that's where the similarities end though, given how often Marie and Frank seem to be involved.

  5. #15
    Peter's Conscience
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    Peter Ross Anderson

    Yes, nothing says zen-like calm and unflustered apathy quite like typing rants with sections in all-caps.
    Seriously, why is Peter not in jail right now? Did Murray fail to show up again? What is wrong with the Scottish legal system?

  6. #16
    Peter's Conscience
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    Peter Ross Anderson

    Sorry folks, I realise it's terrible etiquette to add multiple posts to the same thread in quick succession, but I was tired and I'd only skim read Peter's drivel therefore missed these golden nuggets hidden in the stream of watery shite that drips from his stumpy fingers:

    Quote Originally Posted by Kakapo View Post
    I could have easily gotten a solicitor in Australia to deal with your harassment.
    I genuinely lolled - especially as pestering Ponder to help him with this this is what caused Ponder to block him originally.
    Remember when Peter dismissed Murray, and slandered him, and tried sue him, and to get the police to raid his offices (and gave him a bad Yelp review), and then realised he couldn't get another lawyer in Scotland? Even if he could afford one and hadn't spent all his money on Michael Does Life and OnlyFans fetish videos, none of them wanted to touch him with a fucking bargepole: they're dealing every day with scumbag criminal psycho nutjobs, and they know one when the see one. He must have rung every lawyer in Scotland. Before he eventually slunk back to Murray (my goodness that man must have the patience of a saint), he had this cunning plan to get himself arrested so that he could get a free lawyer appointed to him via Legal Aid... Yeah, remember all that? Because it was only weeks ago. Oh god, now imagine all that , but with added time-zones, bad lines, and comedy accent misunderstandings...
    Comedy.
    Fucking.
    Gold.
    I'd pay to listen to those phonecalls.
    Maybe Peter should set up his own superchat begging scheme.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kakapo View Post
    After all, I have more than enough proof saved.
    Yay! It's the "Edivence"! I've really missed the Edivence, it was one of my favourite characters in previous seasons. Nice callback.
    Maybe Murray's assistant can magically get his life back for him!

    I've saved the best for last though folks.
    This is glorious.
    Could not make this one up if you tried.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kakapo View Post
    Anyone else would have moved on, once they figured they were not interested in speaking to you. Yet you insist, which is the definition of a weirdo.
    [...]
    That's creepy, and only an idiot with no life would do that.
    What
    The
    Actual
    Fuck.

    I'm stunned.

    Is there some sort of award for the most ironic, least self-aware statement on the internet?
    Maybe we should start one?
    We could call them "The Petey's".
    A little gold statuette of Peter rage-wanking onto a bust of Eddie Guerrero or something tasteful like that?
    I guess most years politicians would win it but that quote there would have to be in the hall of fame or something.
    On the positive side I guess it shoes that some of the things people say to him (repeatedly for decades) do filter through his reality distortion filed and make it into his, um, brain(?), even if he seems unable to process any meaning from them.
    He's a bit like a mynah bird in that respect, though admittedly an unholy, hideous, repulsive, misogynist, racist, aggressive, deviant, evil and thoroughly worthless mynah bird.

  7. #17
    Peter's Conscience
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    Peter Ross Anderson! (The musical)

    Peter, It's like someone read your mind and set it to music!
    You'll have to flag it on YouTube to try and get it taken down.

 

 

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