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Thread: Dave's Dairy

  1. #151
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    Heads up ... don't know the time your end (7:14pm here) but settling down with some grounding tunes in the background, a photo or two to share and thinking on with some mindful thoughts towards whatever comes. It'll take me time to waffle on but first going to read you proper now I have time. Back in an hour or so when I hit enter. Be well my friend.

  2. #152
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    Although I deleted my reply, I am glad you got to see it. I too save stuff and stash it someone in a folder for later. I only meant to share my own confusion. Is OK - I'm in good space to share the gist of it without a tainted background to which I felt when reading said article. There is within me a spiritual aspect Sal, but trying to dissect it with the mind often results in disconnection. So it is that philosophical and science debates fall very short for me. Long story short, I rate those approaches as problematic as relgion. The language used with wrong and right set a tone that lost the plot which was about the obscure nature of humanity. There are many concepts that abound to this notion that we are all one but it's not so black and white. It's so confusing because on one hand we are taught about the importance of individuality, whilst on the other there are great influential forces always looking to put people into groups (categories) by this notion of all being one and the same. Yet these groups whilst looking to belong get lost is a sea of identity not knowing who they are or what they really be.

    I could see how the author was in fact touching on some of this in his or her own way. The split/multiple personality disorders is not something relegated to only those labeled like so. In today's world many of us struggle with not knowing if we are defined by country, state, education, policy all the way down to the type of clothes, car and things we own. More so what we don't own and not today where we shop, visit, and of course medical compliance / history. People self diagnose according to the social tier, prescribed label. We adopt identities like dressing for vouge. We create identities according to whatever the latest addiction is. These dynamics be akin to the drug Soma in a Brave New World were most of us living today are already hooked into a dependency traps whether we like it or not. The needs and desires that well within us are akin to drugs where the chemical reactions that take place within need not the consumption of pills. In this light - whilst we are all thinking in terms of bad foods and pharmaceuticals - we have already been hoodwinked! This is a different perspective which I have not really expressed or explained. At least not like so.

    Those of us that have lived long enough to see the game are hooked not so much by designer foods and drugs, but by something already deeply ingrained. All that conditioning since birth re the conflicts of individuality and hive like mentality - Creativity is destroyed the moment children enter into our education system. Need I say anymore. If I do - its would be how they do it with bright colored rainbows right under our noses. Our society is based on deception. That article hits on a few of these things but lost the plot when it proposed those seeking to give up the I apart from the whole were in fact wrong. Adding to that stating it was wrong because some philosophical and science peer reviews ... bla bla bla and sorry but more bla bla bla - more right and wrong ... dissecting this and that and on and on.

    In my view disconnecting from said mind sets is the best thing we can do. None of us are going to discover who we are looking for it in some hive mind that is directed by said ideals put forth but whatever hierarchal establishment. Human Society has absolutely nothing to boast about when you know just how much suffering there is for those to go about telling others how it is. Finding the space is something that really stood out in my own reply. This was put aside and marginalized in that article with the comments as they were towards meditators and mystics. Much the same way the media calls anyone that is opposed to the current status as conspiracy theorists. Only to end by saying because of science it is wrong to believe X,Y and Z. Just on those points alone, it mattered little what pieces made sense. The tone and agenda of the article undermined the title and pretty must lost credit the more I read it.

    Our thoughts and experiences as proposed by the author is all we will ever be and to think the I can be anything different is wrong to suggest ... well - that's toxic stuff. Its the stuff that keeps people in prison. A great article for those ruling the roost and don't want things to change. I am saying it's OK to be confused, hear different voices and not know who the fuck we are when having lived in said system. Those of us that don't fit, do not because we know it's not a natural state of being. This brings us to the topic of what it really means to be human which has fuck all to do with being in an inescapable hive. Yet the concepts that are making ground in the way we are being held are very much separate to any concepts used to keep people bound. How to break free? Reconnect within. I guarantee you that will not happen by joining some group.
    __________________________________________________ _________

    Here - you got me outside for the first time in months. I went to one of my favorite spots - Chilling with the Kangaroos in the local cemetery:



    Here is a close up:


    LOOK & LISTEN comes to mind here. I've been in a huge rut the last months. What better place to say fuck it all and head off to the cemetery to let it all decompose - and focus on what the fuck ever. No amount of podcasts I listen too will give me what I am looking for. It really is a case of no longer looking. Yet that insight can be had from having looked and listened. That being the essence of why no article based on some pretext of science and philosophy will also never provide an answer to that which we have been conditioned. Unlearn used to be a big theme in the 70s - and whilst still prevalent to some degree - the level of dependency and tech we are at, no longer requires designer foods and drugs to keep us bound. Problem, Reaction and Solution are constantly controlled and manipulated whilst one subscribes to anything in society. Today's technology has us like seeing bots created before our eyes. I take a break and write about that ... another level of depression watching one's world altered on such a level. Is it any wonder people get so negative about the future. How can we offer hope in the face of all that? It's episodic at best.

    I might have one last bout of grounding left in me. The ability to clean my body once more and write about how to salvage what it left via focused disconnection that is OK with completely letting go. It has nothing to do with running to the hills, but yea - as much as that author seem to marginalize meditators and mystics, for me that answer does fall somewhere in that. I'd just call it something else in order to take the bad taste out of such things that have been flogged to death and long lost their appeal. The images of such things make me sick and are just as confusing as proponents of philosophy, science and relgion.

    It is so hard to talk about the reality of the so called whole - because once you understand how the energy works, it can be frightening and despairing at the same time. It can be all consuming where one gets lost in a hole and takes so long to get out. I'm pretty sure that is what happens to us with our episodes.

    Time for a Cuppa. Chin up - once we see the BS and understand why so many of us resist - we can start focusing on those less painful bouts with the focus to welcome the simple things back, in what is left of our life. Huge irony ... Huge irony whilst I work towards completing one section of my creative hobby - but not going to get all guilty about that. I know I could just as easily throw it all away but to what end? Once that project is completed (it never ends) I will be moving my focus back into my health and well being. If I don't I will surely be dead in a year or two. I feel it in my bones. That part of me is oh so easy to just say fuck it, but then there is another part that wants to stick around.
    Last edited by Ponder; 11-24-2021 at 05:06 AM.

  3. #153
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ponder View Post
    ...That part of me is oh so easy to just say fuck it, but then there is another part that wants to stick around...
    Reading and absorbing today. But yeah, I think we need to stick around and hang in there. Love those pictures and I'm very happy to hear you got outside !!

    LOOK & LISTEN comes to mind here
    Perhaps I'll do just that now and not allow myself to fall for the stupid shit out there. I should be careful with what I read these days. Still reading your postings and as you can see by my edits hours later, I'm still processing. Takes a while from my "knee jerk" reaction to actually understanding some (most) days for me.

    Tell ya what ... even though I started it Lol .. lets sort of shelf it for another time when things aren't this ape shit crazy.

    I do want you to find a way to improve your health. Like, obviously we'll never meet but I do care.

    PS: I was going to upload a pic of me in a pink dress but with these cankles its not a pretty sight and I'd need to make sure people have a Barf Bag near.
    Last edited by salvator here; 11-24-2021 at 11:29 AM.

  4. #154
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    I think it's time to filter out a few more that just don't get it. In no way am I stereo typing here. I am deeply sorry for those whom may take it that way. Here's to hoping it puts a smile on somebody's face. It took me a lot to convince my wife that I would not tear her zip or fray any seems. I'll make a video later in the day if I get time. I'll be busy ordering my computer parts today but should find a window in all of that. I'll ask the cleaning lady if she can do up my zip before she takes my wife out. Be back late in my day.

    Forgive the image quality - it's just a small phone upload currently making its way around Facebook. Sigh ... Friends and family. At least I will know who is who by days end.

    It's the closet to pink I could get on short notice:



    Your friend always ~ Dave.

    Last edited by Ponder; 11-24-2021 at 03:29 PM.

  5. #155
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    Eat your heart out Sandra Bullock

  6. #156
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    LOL - Video Coming

  7. #157
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    As Promised


  8. #158
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    Another day done. I finally ordered my parts ensuring each one was compatible down to the last minute detail. The culmination of a couple of months thought with nothing left to sell. I can't afford to make mistakes. Waiting for the parts to arrive is a relief. As in I am so glad all the researching is pretty much done. I am going to enjoy the rest. It can be extremely hard for me to disconnect and then reconnect where it matters. The dress routine was a welcome distraction.

    Several different tracks of space music to wind down with spanning 30ish minutes:



    I couldn't help it. Just had to divvy up a pictorial guide of the parts and double check with the guys on Reddit despite having already purchased everything on the list. Is good to go everything as I also have to read the manuals to each parts as they relate to eachtoher. This is first time I have done a custom water cooled loop. I don't mean to bore you guys with it. Like I said, it can take me a long time to wind down. ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz



    Hard to imagine all that gear it dedicated to cooling my graphics card. Then I can safely venture into overclocking and have fun with that - OR - just increase the longevity of my graphics card and learn new creative skills for future builds. I now have some left over parts to begin upgrading my grandson's PC. I only hope the guys over at reddit have good news by way of confirming I have enough parts and the ones I picked will all go together. I'm pretty sure I got it right as I posted on most of them. Too bad if I did not ... I am now completely bust. That is why I spent so much time trying to get every detail right.

    Sigh ... what else to do while I wait. I could try tackle a video record of staving myself. Not quite ... being sarcastic for sure. BUT - I would like to try something of a Vlog re getting serious with my health. I'll think more on that.

    Again I do feel relieved that I got over this huge research hurdle.

    Time to hit the sack. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz night night.

    THANKS AGAIN MUM - THE EXTRA BOOST REALLY HELPED! I made it count!






    Last edited by Ponder; 11-25-2021 at 07:39 AM.

  9. #159
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    Day 1 - Reclaiming My Health.

    See what happens. Time to start setting a routine more indicative of the healthier mile stones of my past. More so drawing from that which I know works for me. Holding back is not in my nature although being mindful in whatever quest, helps to navigate the pitfalls for sure. I guess to some degree it is about regaining confidence but without all the self importance humanity is excessively driven to. With my traits I do tend to dive into the extremes and fall into said traps. In that regard I may have to make a separate play list for my mystical esoteric rants that I often enjoy to do. In the mean time I'll be working on making these little health and well being Vlogs short and sweet. That said there will be quite a few check ins, just as I will also be posting more frequently in this new quest to regain my health.

    Those posts will most likely be long winded as is what it takes for me to detox, unwind and set new paths. Literally this is what I will be doing to my brain. New pathways leading to more energy that will enable me to venture out a little further each day. Perhaps not in distance, but hopefully in time and outdoor exposure. This mean I need not thrust myself into public gatherings, but more pick my times with earlier mornings and perhaps a few quite evening rides. By public gatherings I mean anywhere there is more than 3 individuals and I often prefer they also be lone souls as well. In terms of society, I see no positive outcomes with marketed sea mentality. Also sold of as Unity and Oneness. I am all about separation and disconnection from that which is unhealthily. In this I am often misunderstood. When two or more a gathered it is much harder to make genuine connection - at least in terms of human society. All good - this angle whilst not inspiring for most - I find quite calming. It's going to take time to more 'effectively' articulate.

    Waking up this morning to the sound of rain.


    ___________________________________
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    Sips on Mint Tea knowing full well I have a lot of cravings and headaches ahead. : D
    Last edited by Ponder; 11-25-2021 at 03:51 PM.

  10. #160
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    Good to see your going to start improving your health. Yeah, could take time to detox and get rid of the bad shit Looks like you're off to a good start

 

 

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