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Thread: Dave's Dairy

  1. #71
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    It's OK to be Low Vibrational - Just Don't Become a Target. Read On:

    Before I share on low vibrational states and how it is that we become easy targets, I share the following photo:

    This is a digital photo I took outside my house with camera propped up on my brick letterbox, facing towards the busier end of my street. Although I live in a quiet street I do not enjoy walking past other peoples homes or being in town at all. Lately I have resorted to walking at night in order to avoid people and traffic. Dogs barking can be an issue at this time, just as they can be early in the mornings. I find is best to just walk as quietly as I can which suits me fine as of late I don't have the fitness to push myself and to be honest when I do, I often lose sight of the importance in simply finding space.


    Having a bicycle kind of helps me during the day when I do find the desire to go outside the house. The bicycle helps because my speed is quick enough when coasting that I don't get caught up in eye contact. This helps me not to engage. This brings me to the topic at hand. Low vibrational states and that being OK and not something we should fear of feel guilty about; as is commonly themed and used to demean those not doing so well. The thing to understand with being in such a low state is how it makes us easy targets. The best analogy with this in mind, is to think of 'The Pecking Order.' A social hierarchy where the bigger, stronger, and more aggressive chickens bully their way to the top of the flock by pecking the others into submission with their pointy beaks. First they strut about, fluff their feathers, and squawk, but if that doesn’t get the point across, they peck. It can get violent. Sometimes blood is drawn; occasionally, the opponent is killed.

    It's really no different in our human society. Very much the same in fact. Let's replace 'bigger and stronger' with more powerful. Humans intellectually acquire power in all manner of ways that have little to do with benevolent virtues. We live in a self centred society that hides behind double meanings used to deceive people into believing that self promotion is not only well justified, but essential to a well lived life. Fear is commonly used to instill such a value system and often done so in the education system:

    “Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live.”― Natalie Babbitt, Tuck Everlasting

    I've mentioned it before and I'll mention it again. But before I do - if you can't follow along at this stage with where I am going, then I would submit you probably won't. At least not at this point in your journey. You may never, just as you may never understand me.

    Why should we even fear at all? It's this mindset that sells so well and thrives within group mentalities aimed towards pecking others who do not fit in. This mindset knows well, how to demean those who struggle living life. Those sitting up the top on the higher rungs perched well above, writing the narrative for all those below to live by - lest they be programmed they must fear; be afraid - you are nothing if you are not living by our standards. There is no live and let live with these ideals. It's purely does as I say, do as I will. So it is that the narrative directs people to police as 'they' 'will.' From there we get many sub groups where the common theme is the need for identity followed by more standard, guidelines and rules.
    ______________________________________________

    Back to the Pecking Order - Hmmmm - OK - allow me to bring up that other picture that got my attention today: I think now is a good time -


    ___________________________________

    Shame and guilt the tools of suffering. By which the wearing away of one existence gives way to another and thus around she goes whereby those who see themselves as winners feed off those feeling so low; those less able, too tired, vulnerable and exposed. God forbid we look after those.
    The true nature of self in conflict with unnatural states of being. Governed by those that seek to impose fear in response to those who are seen as compromising. That which is pure and innocent is made to feel immoral and sinful. Weighed and measured within a system ruled by cast iron beaks.

    Nature only corrupted by streams of thought that seek to dominate all forms. Where does this prevailing corruption come from?


    Yawns - This write up inspired by those this afternoon whom chose to laugh at me because I did not consent to reply in turn. I was walking down the street before the sun went down. I was in a low vibrational state that was easy to see. Because I did not respond with a wave to some negative energies that picked up on my own, this little group of men started saying hello to each other looking my way poking fun at me. This is why I connect with words so well when saying in the above "By which the wearing away of one existence..." as I truly feel I have reached my end in this world.

    I have no desire or point of reference to go when I step outside me home. So it is that if I wish to move my feet without jumping in my car or on my bike, that I pretty much only do it at night. I literally feel like a walking target because of how low I feel. Feeling low is something we are taught to be ashamed of. This brings to my mind the deception within so many self help movements that go as far as to deamen one state of being Vs another - yet it is in that act of demeaning that they themselves sink so low. It's just that negative state is buffered by an ego that is said to be healthy. Yadda yadda - motivational gobbledygook that becomes competitive in a violent world where said destruction is reasoned as natural. The natural order of things being a statement that sets the foundation for a prison that's been playing out for eons.

    What's the answer -

    Currently I am riding with the low. When they started laughing at me singing out hello repeatedly, I did feel triggered/hurt and feedback with a reactive goodbye and momentarily thought about flipping out - but then resided back into my usual low state of being where eventually I decided to write this. Being low is not nearly as bad as they say. It's just another state of being. People don't like it when your OK with being whatever wherever. So for now, I do what I can to avoid people and have no issue with doing such. In the same way I choose not to respond, (which obviously will piss some people off) I choose to dismiss that avoiding people, places and things is some kind of dysfunction. To the contrary, I consider society as the dysfunction where my certifications are no more than a means to an end for compliance sake. So it will be when I am hemmed into taking 'The Jab!' The same way my low vibrational state reflects the image of that which is in conflict with me - so too, it is with how I present when forced to comply. It is at this point those caught up in the game of society start violently pecking.

    You can't find me on either side of the coin. Nor will you catch my sitting on a fence. I'm basically off the charts, yet just as caught up in this mess as much as anyone else. I worry that my therapist might get worn down. arrrrr I now smile.

    Do I have enough characters left to explain? The whole theme here for me is that it's OK to even want out! Whatever that may mean. Truly - it is perfectly sane to be completely fed up with all this world has to offer. It's perfectly sane to see the bullshit for what it is. There is nothing wrong or sinful about feeling so low. If only people would back the fuck up and allow people to go through what they must. But NO - In this society it's all about your 'capacity!' hmmmmm thus comes the motivational hierarchy set to inflate identities that leads to all kinds of divisions and conflicts that ultimately plays into the images above.

    The irony I find, is how rife these delusions can be found online. No doubt including my own.

    OK - Last sigh ... thanks for listening.

    To finish on a good note although nothing wrong with the above: I am glad I was able to write as I did.

    In about two weeks I will be going away for a week where I'll be helping my friend with his computer build. That I am looking forward too. I'm no longer selling him my monitor as after further research I decided I would be doing myself a disservice. I have still got other options to acquire some more funds for my own projects. It's just going to take me more time is all. One step at a time. I don't mind looking to find reason to exist within my own buble - It's just that I will never participate in this toxic society on a level that is willing. My compliance will always be forced and therefore anything I sign is null and void. I spit upon my birth certificate, drivers license and bank cards and forever always burn flags of all nations in my sleep. To be sure the real answer is to do away with such resistant thoughts. Be party to no side or concept other than be ready for one's eventual death ... to die right now ... in the here and now ... to not fear not living or pay no mind to such limited thoughts. Every life is lived no matter how long or short. Beware of people who advocate the opposite - especially those that promote fear.

    Last edited by Ponder; 10-19-2021 at 06:31 PM.

  2. #72
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    Went for a walk this morning in full view. I revisited the spot where I was made fun of. Now I am content to avoid it. Chuckles at that.

    Today is a good day. My Computer's CPU water cooling unit has landed in Taiwan three days after leaving Australia. [Courtesy of DHL] That's like better than some places I send locally. lol

    My friend who has spent like 10 grand on his parts, [which I researched for him] is loaning me money to take advantage of a good deal now. Whilst I would like to wait for next gen tech, the availability is a huge issue (and looks like it will be so up until at least 2023 - personally I think it is the new norm) which is driving prices up the longer I wait. Basically for now, I am looking to purchase a highly revered brand and well sort out model one tier down than the current best. The resale value of such a purchase at this time warrants this decision as even just a few weeks in my friends parts have increased in value due to unavailable stock. (After selling my latest GPU which I owned for 19 months - the person who just bought that paid more than I did) That said, it helps to know the make and model and what to avoid. I also lucky because my friend is giving me high end RGB fans, nodes, cables and so on. I even have enough to upgrade my power supply and acquire a GPU sag bracket.

    One last day of researching then I can start looking forward to my CPU cooler making it's way back. (recall on that model - LED issues is all) I'm pretty sure the return journey will be longer than 3 days and perhaps some red tape holding it up in the factory. All in all though - I have something to be excited about. Back into the research.

    Adios.
    Last edited by Ponder; 10-18-2021 at 05:44 PM.

  3. #73
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    Badass Grandpa


  4. #74
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    ............................

  5. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ponder View Post
    Went for a walk this morning in full view. I revisited the spot where I was made fun of. Now I am content to avoid it. Chuckles at that.
    Ok, I read every word. I've been avoiding certain places that brought me pain as well ... no sense on revisiting expecting a different outcome if the circumstances haven't change. Although, its not the space/location, the atmosphere is beautiful, and that picture at night is nice, sadly, its some people. Not all, but some people are sharks and smell blood. Hard to explain.

    Glad you having a good day and hope when you wake up things will continue to be gratifying

    EDIT: Will be also going into more detail over the next few days on my journal about things going on and I can VERY MUCH relate to what happened to you there. I don't feel safe sometimes even walking in public. Hard to explain.
    Last edited by salvator here; 10-19-2021 at 12:00 PM.

  6. #76
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    Thanks for the acknowledgements Sal. Much appreciated. Only write as you feel. I've been out of sync of late but starting to readjust. My research episodes can be intensive and I'm only just now relaxing after weeks of super focus on one main thing. The background drama known as this world is not something I like to return to when coming down. I really am thankful that you have been around. I hear you too. I said as best I could in your thread.

    What you said in your thread has made me think more deeply regarding time and space. I've been very sleepy of late and that's OK. What is probably not so helpful is the way I inherently fight it. I now am pushing myself to take naps but do so in a way that I feel won't negatively impact my main regeneration cycles. I would do well to focus more on stepping into said space without all the distractions that we often bring with us when shutting down like so.


    I really do sometimes think it's best to allow oneself to be assimilated by one's thoughts in order to just let those clouds float by. Yawns. ZZZZzzzzzz As is the common teaching to a good session of allowing oneself to simply just be. I go lay down now and give it a shot. The technology is already inside us. We got this ZZZzzz
    I've got plenty to write about but actually need to go take a power nap. I need a few naps in order to catch up. I might settle in for a good shutdown period now that I think about it. Hopefully I can be more coherent when I come back. : )

  7. #77
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    My take on ASMR - I got bored so came up with the following:


  8. #78
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    Not much to report of late. I have sold a few more things towards my pc water-cooling goal. It will be a modest outcome compared to those who can afford more, but that said I have done well to achieve what I have thus far. My CPU cooler will be here any day. I have someone coming around later to buy a camera and my treadmill still listed on the Marketplace. I think the treadmill is going to be hard to sell. My plan is to pick out cheaper parts just to get started with water cooling and then maybe upgrade those parts later. It's been good to have an interest again that does not require going outside! It's going to be another scorching summer!!!

  9. #79
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    Stop teasing me

  10. #80
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    I don't know what winter is like in Australia, but in Scotland, it's freezing. Currently, it get darks about 6 PM.

    Today, I found out this cow was laid off from the care register because of her attitude towards people with autism. But like I said, we fight back. Then the bad ones get exposed.

    I honestly couldn't be any more not surprised, giving that they hired a jackass called Patrick Connolly who sent me stupid emails for 2 years. So, yeah. They employ assholes.

 

 

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