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Thread: Dave's Dairy

  1. #61
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    OK - Psychosis over with. On with a brand new day.

    Today I sell more things. I have decided the weights have to go. I would do far better to lift the rocks in my head.

    The treadmill I will keep, as to the elastic bands. I should of purchased the latter first.

    That's it. Me too going to have a chill day. Good plan.

  2. #62
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    Productive Morning - Another add done! Whilst I am fast getting rid of stuff - I will be keeping my commuter bike and treadmill. The two things I rely on very much. The Bike is my transport and the Treadmill for my sanity as well as help with moving lymphatic fluid from time to time (to some degree / no longer really trying to lose weight - at least at this stage) when I care less to go out. My wife ordered takeaway today ... it was nice but I must admit I don't feel that well after eating it.

    At any rate - here is to a probable in on my lasted add. The last I don't think will see any time soon. Hopefully before Xmas lest I drop my price at the last moment. The difference will by my hiring fee for having tried these items before knowing if they were for me.


    I've become so unfit I got up a sweat creating all these shot - yesterday I started walking on the treadmill and went for a bicycle ride. I was going to again today but will wait till much later when it cools down.


  3. #63
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    A Stranger's Voice Message - A prayer for my time of need.

    It was when glancing the facebook columns after checking for marketplace messages that I came across a post about the benefits of church and autism. My initial reaction was, "WTF is this doing in my feed?" I thought fuck it! I will respond, no one else has. After deleting the first time around and then content with a reasonable statement to the contrary, I hit enter. Some time later I found myself in chat with not one, but two individuals counseling me on the virtues of sin. You may be wondering depending on your own viewpoint with such things, why did I allow myself to even engage at all? Most likely because that which lead me to delete my fist scathing post (before hitting enter) the spirit in which I recoil from this earth and all on it ... is not at all personal. That's a key point to my survival, at least in terms of sanity. My take on depersonalization being different to that of health professionals.

    How often do people turn their hatred of whatever negative experience they have suffered and throw it back into the face of others? I see this very nature in people as the very essence of invested emotion as it is to invested money. I use the word money as a point of reference because for thousand and thousands of years, it's been valued more than human beings. Identity fits very well within these dynamics. Money, Human Beings, Emotion & Identity. From the top down:

    Money the currency of secularism. Sin the currency of Religion. Both often hand in hand.

    MONEY/SIN
    HUMAN BEINGS
    EMOTION
    IDENTITY

    I'll come back to the situation where I'm being counselled on the virtues of sin. Those four key words above in that order top down is the lens in which I see this world. Additionally the detachment factor is another dynamic to this puzzle.

    My take - is to take the person out of the human when thinking in terms of depersonalizing. Humans may once of been beings, but they (I shudder to say we) are far from that in today's world. That world no more than the amalgamation of complex systems that dominate what we say and think. I think in terms of that evolution itself over time with are so called advanced world. That process over time combined with the evolution of human identity to which we are all today programed artificially in a system that relies heavily on invested emotion. More so the control of other people's emotions. If that is confusing - read the table above in that priority.

    Money is used to dominate the control system. It's the framework that drives people's values above all else. This is our world and despite blinkered sectors whom are invested in the art of deception ... the 'veil' ... a term that contains the letters that spells e-v-i-l ... is rife in today's complex digital world. I know many people think I am nuts talking about such things ... but it's as real as the screen your reading this from. It plays into how this program is run.
    _____________________


    SIN - sigh ... Man this program is so corrupted OR so well written to ensure it's creators keep us in. Yawwwwnnnnnn.

    Oh boy. ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz So I reply to this form of currency called sin to which I was tonight being counselled in:

    "I see it differently. I came into this world perfectly fine. It is this world that is corrupted. It's attempt to label me as broken is just part and parcel to the branding process of ownership where humans are capitalized like bank notes are spun from a press. This state of being perceivably different eons ago before the tainted and twisted teachings of today's mainstream narratives. So it is that humans beings now come into this timeline on this plain of existence. This sin you talk of is no more or less akin to the concept of money, property and ownership. Sin being as much a concept as money is to slavery."

    I said it somewhat differently - talking more about corporations and establishments which is a language more understood by religious types. The pastor who was brought into the conversation thanked me for my input whilst the well meaning disciple who was shepherding this unsolicited session later sent me a voice message offering up prayers for my suffering and thus sin.

    Alas - it was what it was and lead me to thinking about that table above.

    So many invested peoples philosophise in a way to justify their investments. To me, whether it be captisimlm, socialism, communism - I see all those forms of governing run in much the same way when it comes to those four key points in above table.

    The essence of what I present here is more about disconnection from what it means to be human in today's world. An artificially programed bot that is everything but the essence of being. A controlled commodity that was once free before entering this corrupt world.
    __________________________________________________ _____

    To be sure it goes deeper than that and can be perviced on many levels and often is. That said, despite the many intricacies with that being very much spun with the aim to make more complex ... Prison planet theory is looking very good. Concepts that seek not to label beings as in need of overcoming for having existed at all tend to follow the path of reincarnation, we are here to suffer in order to learn, just another hierarchical ladder system and so on and on ... well my time opening myself up to all of that seems as much a flawed currency do pretty much the same with signage imprinting one must do this or that ... one must go here and there, one must think and feel a certain way ... just more disempowering programming.

    SO - is it any wonder people are more lost than ever before? From a programmer's perspective this is key to spinning a GIF on an eternal loop with no end in sight. A round and round she goes. So far Alan watts comes close defining a lot of this and puts some kind of tangible grasp onto something what it really not. Yet I have to admit his way it just his way and whilst he has many subscribers I find some resistance to his take. I'm not quite sure what yet I know it's not personal. Or is it? arrrrrrrrrrrrr ... time to detach from my own sense of being in a world that seeks to have me connect with anything but!

    Righto ... I best get of this loop of my own. Not sure I made a beginning, middle and end ... but fuck all those formalities. That exactly what I am trying to break. That is exactly what keeps us from being.

    Night night. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzz



  4. #64
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    yeah I do not care about my weight anymore, Do not care about sin or money, I have enough for myself, I have everything so why do I need the money for?
    eh fb presence not present there at all. Keep strong Dave, do not listen to toxic people
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  5. #65
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    I don't need much money and never had much anyway... just to enjoy a coffee or tea a few times a month ... usually 30 dollars left for enjoyment. Little things please me. In fact; I'll get in a strangers car for a piece of candy ... Just kidding

    I would take a break from social media for a while to reset because it is toxic. I don't use it at all. Been struggling with depersonalization pretty badly lately, as well. I don't know.

    Wishing you well.

  6. #66
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    Hi D - Glad you popped in. Thanks for the wise words. I will heed them.

    Hi Sal - everyone's definition is a little different I guess. For be - taking the identify out of people actually works well for me. That's how I depersonalization as a good thing. I think that is different to the text books they use on byproduct.

    I'm just using FB to keep in touch with family and to sell things. The rest of it is a trap. *&^% the algorithms and the ideals that create them.

    Yea - I am doing well enough today. Just waiting on courier to pick up my CPU water cooler. It's getting replaced.

    Other than that I have downloaded Season One of ROME HBO 1080 versions. Looks really crisp on a 1080P Native TV.

    Here is an interesting Segment that says quite a lot:



    There is just so much shit on netflix and the like these days. My son was the one that reminded me of Rome HBO. Given I have not seen this series since its release, it's turning out to be a breath of fresh air when it comes to watching this version of events. Don't participate ... just spectate. : )

  7. #67
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    Have to admit I just binged watched season one. Tomorrow I aim to do some much needed yard work.

    More sun for longer and at more bouts ... even just in my backyard will do.

    ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Nigh tnight.

  8. #68
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    Time for some grounding:


  9. #69
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    It's overcast but cool which I am liking. This summer I am not ready for given my weight gain but I'm sure I can swing it that I will still be breathing come next winter; although brief as they are where I live. I wish an ice age would come pronto! Hyperthermia going out on the nod better than suffocating in the heat. I best start making healthier decisions if I wish to avoid such things.

    OK - time for rays of sunshine to emanate from my ass. If yourrrr ... happy and you know it CLAP YOUR HANDS! If yourrrr ... happy and you know it CLAP YOUR HANDS! If yourrrr ... happy and you know it CLAP YOUR HANDS! ...

    arrrr fuck it - I much prefer running a bus over such shallow mindedness.




    Have a great day all!

    Still working on a topic of interest for myself. Have been in need of a long term nap. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Coming Soon

  10. #70
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    I'm tinkering with the idea of writing more consistently regarding my daily routine. I do remember clearly how this really worked well for me. I think I just need to mix things up a bit and make the entries a little more interesting.
    Changing Things Up:

    Not sure how this will look on a phone but I think if I center [or not] it at no more than 750pixels it should turn out readiable without the need to scroll horizontally.

    BBcode can be rather limiting compared to HTML. I have only just discovered the table feature in advanced settings and think I will see if I can get creative with it.
    __________________________________________________ ___________________

    Just a random image that got my attention whilst skimming in images. There is a lot going on here. Vulnerability with a scattered flock. More words are needed in a world with too few.
    Please forgive the fragmented posting. I really am just experimenting. Getting a feel for how the table ebs and flows.

    Knowing me I will get bored of it real quick and either keep the format for a while and find my usual topics of interest, or, just resort to 'normal' methods of communicating. ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz haha and lol
    __________________________________________________ ________________
    Birth of Thought
    Stanisław SzukalskiDate: 1916; Poland
    Style: Impressionism
    Genre: sculpture

 

 

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