Hello from Liz Michelle

[LizMichelle]

Hello,I am Liz Michelle and been having anxiety issues lately.My wife including my own family have noticed this and I do see a therapist on this next week.Comes from my past which came from the abuse my dad put me through as a kid.Being a part time MTF crossdresser since the age 12,my dad wanted me to be like him and I wasn't like him.I felt I was male having a female side to me.Good thing was dad was kicked out when I was 12 by mom whom is very supportive to this day including my 3 younger sisters.Wife is supportive and we did have a talk about this on Monday.

[salvator here]

Welcome to AF; Liz

A pleasure to meet you. Regrettably, as you can see, we're a pretty low key forum nowadays to say the very least.

I mean ... hey - I'm so very-very happy to know your wife and your mom and sisters are supportive. It must have been quite difficult to be able to express yourself and be true to yourself at the age of 12. More courage than I at that age. I had/have effeminate mannerisms and it didn't go over well in school, so I can relate. Its too bad your dad wasn't supportive and you said you feel your anxiety is a result of your father having turned his back on you.

You wrote:

I felt I was male having a female side to me

Do you still feel this way, or are you secure now that you are just YOU? I used to think that or I was female with a male side for a while. Now, I don't see gender expression that way anymore, although, I am not a crossdresser; myself. Now, I wouldn't change a thing about myself to please other people and couldn't care less what people think.

I hope you find therapy helpful to deal with your anxiety. Trust me, and you know you're not alone and many dear sweet people have had their entire family disown them for such. Luckily, that didn't happen to you or me. I can't imagine what that must be like.

I hope you feel comfortable to continue to post here or journal (so to speak) as there isn't really much going on here anyway so feel free to utilize this space while we have it.

wishing you well and happiness and love for others and yourself.

~Salvatore

[salvator here]

...and I do see a therapist on this next week...

So.. did you find therapy to be of any benefit to you; Liz? It takes time and patience and also to find the *right* therapist also takes time - I've been through many and only up until recently have I now someone that 'gets me'.

[LizMichelle]

Yes so far and she understands working well with the LGBT community

[salvator here]

That's awesome news!

Remember, it takes time, opening up about personal struggles isn't easy, so there is no rush. Sound's like you do have good support so that will help you to deal with your anxiety surrounding your father not being there for you. I say "struggles" because I don't see it as a problem or an issue; unless its causing you distress, society teaches us what is (so-called) normal. There is no such thing - we are all individuals and are unique. There is NOTHING wrong with being different .. I've come to learn (at 48 yo) to embrace my uniqueness and the hell with what others think/feel. Be YOU and love what makes you YOU! I hope you and your new therapist will help you to manage your anxiety and enjoy your life.

Don't get down on yourself or get discouraged, it takes time and we all have our mementos if despair. Heck, read my jumbled messy history here (if you're really bored) and you'll surely feel better. Day-by-day I've learned to work it now.

Oh, and don't feel as if you need to post here all the time - no pressure - just we're here if you need us

Take care.

[IAmCamille]

Greetings! Welcome to the forum, Liz Michelle. Keep smiling. Life is good.

[Memaw52]

Hi Liz and others! I'm new here. Liz, I know how hard it is, my brother had a hard time showing his true self as well. It took time for my mom to accept him. eventually, everything come into place and we are now a strong family. I'm glad you have your wife, sister, and mother to support you. They will be your strenght.

[salvator here]

I've also been wondering how you've been doing; Liz.