Tough day - but made it through with the hard core choices. Was able to say no when it counted.
Welcome to the Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks.
Tough day - but made it through with the hard core choices. Was able to say no when it counted.
I should probably of mentioned that when saying no when it counts, that it's more an issue with myself than it is with others. Not to say that others are not part and parcel to the problem when dealing with one's addictions, pain and suffer. Just figured I should keep things in perspective as I see more and more disenchanted peoples offloading responsibility. Of course I am also victim to this trap. 'Oh how coincidental.' Very well written articles abound on the internet but always blaming someone defending an opposing group or concept that sells very well. Victim mentality grips as all and is in many ways as it's always been. A well designed algorithm long before Google's time.
Currently I am trying to curb my tone with regards to the whitewashed perception on tinfoil hat topics as too; giving careful consideration to the con's of such or any group mentality. I've never proposed to identify as one or the other, although been entrapped none the less. That's the major hook for today's algorithm offering a wide scope of identities for people who've been conveniently lead astray. Having come up for air, the general consensus no matter what rabbit hole one has been in is all the same. We are all trapped and slaves; even the self professed happy ones.
I no longer have an interest of going back down any of those holes. At least not anytime soon. I'm once more starting to discover more entertaining stories on Netflix. That said, it takes a long time to discover any thing of worth among all the regurgitated drama. To be fair it's not just the truth seekers getting washed away in their own creation, but also the hum drum to that in which many cases they highlight so well. More meaning it does not really get any better when your not in or out of the rabbit hole. Every aspect of life today whether it be under a some rock or standing tall is full of the same fallibility.
What to do? It really is insane once you start to fathom how all sides of the box peddle the same concepts whilst dismissing and demeaning the other. It's no longer a rabbit hole in which one once thought they were safe or some illusionary personification of success as conditioned by the 21st century 'real world!' Yea I know ... sometimes I wonder what I even mean. Yet something in that still rings well for me.
We all deal with this BS in our own way. REAL WORLD - a term often used by many this day and age or typed out on our keyboard as 'REAL LIFE - RL -' ... deeply rooted from the confines of an algorithm. That bares thinking about. At least if your looking for peace of mind or to burrow a buzz phrase from those entrenched in today's matrix philosophy; looking to 'escape the prison.'
Well - best I can now see it is that none of today's fear campaigning concepts offer any real help. Whilst they may offer realization and a path to the process of waking up (yet another nightmare) most facets leaching and regurgitating feeding on and off the same stories which at this stage have offered me little when it comes to solutions. Not that anyone else (other than self) is ever able to give the answers for another. I guess the conflict comes with those that profess they do. They say they do but in the most vaguest of ways. Is done like todays 10 hour long roller coaster movies split across a number of several episodes with a 12 months break in-between. Today's drug induced online TV. The algorithm at its best. But lets not keep blaming something else?
We are all authors of course.
If perception management is where it's at and more to the point an outside source controlling the algorithm, then perhaps it's best we learn how to create our own programs by choosing carefully our mindset as we enter into whatever worlds. We all grow old and inevitably lose control to some degree. How hard we cling seems to lead to just how much we are controlled.
Today is OK to be insane. No need to cling. Now with my approach less bound on the BS precept of some unknown source -
What world will I enter into today?
It will be digital of course.
Last edited by Ponder; 10-26-2020 at 04:16 PM.
Please forgive the passionate ending of the title. I will make up for it in the ending. Whilst fitting, I do try to avoid negative emotions as I am not the best at regulating such during times of unease. Nevertheless, the world is currently and unfortunately always been full of it. I guess the main difference between now and then would be the prolific nature of it and the speed at which it travels. Today's BS has become a fine art. The way in which it sinks in and muddles the brain can be like water to a sponge. Except where water finds it way on through, we are instead clogged up and overloaded with information and 24/7 directives which none of adds up as it taught. Before we get out of school to any point in our lives, all that we have been told has left us with nothing but conflict.
When I say we, I am just talking about those that feel or gel the same way, or perhaps addressing that some other or thing that resides within; another part of me that at times helps. I am not meaning to talk in absolutes or write on a topic to influence others to think as I do. That just plays into the wide array of BS littering this world. I am genuinely attempting to use this space in a effort to sift thought the bullshit that plagues me head. Trying to take a few long needed steps to once again find my way to some kind of exit from the confusion that currently reigns.
Knowing how to find my way is not as hard as the doing, yet the doing should never be as hard as I try. This falibility can be thought of as none other than that torn expression millions of us use to make a point when not knowing what we feel we must. Think of all those frustrated expressions on YouTube thumbnail's in order to get your attention. Imagine living your life like that from second to second. Lately that is how I have been living. There are different states to it.
Anger: Thankfully this one short live with me. It happens to the best of us. I have faced enough consequences on both sides of the fence with regards to this facet. Yet rages can still reside deep within and left unresolved are quite painful without the ability to address. When jealousy, hate, greed and like wise toxicity rises from no where for no reason like when one sleeps or perhaps when in a state of boredom and frustration; is the rages I mean. You don't act on them or if you do it's more seen as mild discontent. Yet the pain left uncheck then turns into a deep depression:
Depression: I think I have made some kind of breakthrough and perhaps even a point. I could only add that with depression ... that is often well hidden. The cycle of mental illness baffled in the face of irony which highlights the fact that we live in a society that's dysfunctional in itself. Just as deception has become an art, so too it is with acceptance. Yet another piece of the puzzle that dysfunction seeks to kept from our grasp ensures that we are kept in a state of confusion. Deception and the array of BS see to it that acceptance is also misunderstood.
Until next post, thanks for listening.
----
----
Last edited by Ponder; 10-28-2020 at 11:27 PM.
Nevertheless, life goes on. Several days in now on another bout to get back on the horse with regard to less toxic choices. When it comes to food and basic needs it really is like living in drug store with all kinds of combinations. Albeit well disguised behind a myriad of comfort options that instantly please. Well designed at that too. Not as much as an issue for those just starting out with only a few decades under their belt. That said, if only I could do it all over again. I would definitely make healthier choice knowing what I know now. Not to worry, what's passed has passed yet what is to come still offers a choice. Never too late to make changes. Even when constantly making mistakes.
The whole 'in the now' thing is not as easy as the cliche. The choices we made yesterday undoubtedly affect the today and what we do this day will just as surely affect the next. But not to overcomplicate it I only need think of how my skin breaks out the day after if when my body is in conflict with my addictions. Helps to break it down chemically on a natural scale before going synthetic. I guess I am delving back into the biological process approach when thinking in terms of emotional control. Just how it is that my make up with churning those thoughts takes its toll on my body. Not just the food - yet it can play it's part in how it is that I think.
So without going into the whole food diary thing like I did in the past - I'm getting a hold this time round by in doing my best to control my thoughts. For me, my traits in conflict with today's world makes that hard. Replace traits with being I think would see me more normal as a human being regardless of my inability to fit a neurotypical box. I sense this is the case for any human in their natural state before being subject to a world as is today. In other words you don't have to warrant some kind of label in order not to fit. The labels are only a prerequisite to vital resources and have nothing to do with who we really be. Sadly many of us are quickly consumed with the need for this or that identity. Always striving to meet required standards in order to feel complete.
Yadda Yadda to be sure. Works for me.
I think I will go out this morning with my support worker and purchase an outfit to play this game. Give myself a new skin. One that fits this new frame. Again ... is what it all is and is as I see. My body skins is feeling better this week for the choices made on the previous days. Yet I still feel tired with the world's current algorithm. So much negative energy out there despiste my own attempts to lift my game. BUT - I will not care for those who wish to drag others down. Not all of them mean to of course but that said, there is still a lot of mean people out there to avoid. In biological terms these be RL toxic trolls I would do well to ignore - Just I as aim to do in my digital world. Reddit, Facebook, or any social platform now ever present in coffee shops across the world. People taking their avatars and profiles with them. Not to mention all the associated BS as well. Chuckles ... srry.
Sigh. I go get ready and think about what I skin I will purchase and what I shall bring to the table.
Time to go play a game in RL.
I must save enough for the digital world as I believe the halloween Steam Sale is on.
Don't mind my discourse if your like a hipster or thrive on such external things. This is just my take. I don't mind a new skin every now and then - I just don't require as many avatars as I do jocks. I think today I will smile plenty playing this BS game with so many pretenders sitting pretty sipping their coffee whilst I am feeling more confident the longer I stay this healthier course. I sense my support worker also enjoys this facet when I reach such a stage as when I put on all the trinkets and step up to the pate ... I pretty much don't change. The disapproval can be quite amusing, but less an issue with you no long give a &^%$. It actually fells quite liberating ... yet I have to be honest and say it's not something I strive to do or keep up. It can get old quick when your not really into the BS - it's just fund to do everyone once and while. More like amusing.
OK ... now time to edit. I do that later if I have time. I know my writings are full of broken sentences and misspelled words or wrong chosen ones and all that. For the most part I do my best with that after I hit post ... but whatever. Is good to be writing again. Is just my own shit. I know I am full of it. It's a BS world ... that's my point. But knowing the rules of the game kind of helps. Then if you have enough energy and sanity left ... you fit in as best you can with the intent to play your own way. That is all. Everyone today has an identity crisis. That is to be sure. Reminding oneself of that is a good way to know that it's not just about the 'I' ... There are more people more bent outta shape than just the self. Is good to know when feeling so low. Helps me get back up - but whilst I gest in here like so ... I mean not to rock other peoples boat. I just can't help but be amused. Being amused is way better than feeling like a time bomb. Best I can say. For now it will have to do.
Adios .. until next post.
Trust me ... out of what's on offer re Netflix of late, this one is a good watch:
-A couple of days since my last post. It's the start of a new week for me. I managed to reach my unlisted goals. It was pretty damn hard getting to this point but easier than my other last few attempts. It's been like ages since I've had a win. Touch wood for more healthy choices this week. Now with that said, the world still looks fairly toxic from my point of view. However, I am chuffed that for the moment at lest ... I have managed to clean up my neck of the woods.
One of the hardest parts of moving forward for me is watching my daughter struggle with her own deep depression. Currently living with us but more so all day and night in her bedroom. I know just how hard it must be this day and age for younger folk, but all our attempts to encourage are met with negative responses. We wish very much for her to take on the role of mother for her son. I understand well how our own bad choices stare us back in the face. What to do?
The constant suicide proclamations now losing their impact as both my wife and I have come to accept that aspect is really out of our control and that we should not allow ourselves to be overcome with despair each and every time our daughter repeats the threats. That in itself is it's own form of abuse that we have had to quell. I have explained personally to her that I would be deeply saddened if indeed my daughter did kill herself. However, I also explained that she is not the only one that has felt that way, that in fact there are a number in our family who have already successfully taken their own life. She knows well of my brothers death and although debated with me that passive suicide is not the same, I gently made my point that if you will something hard enough, that it will come.
For my brother it was a cocktail of drugs. Others in my extended family I do not know well, but it was a similar story of someone on my fathers side in the UK about two generations ago. I tread carefully as I further explained about the long list of friends I have come to know who were also successful in their attempts to end their lives. I was trying to make the point being we are already as good as dead from the point we decide to give up living.
In keeping with this revelation I was also trying to express how the constant suicide threats were impacting on others. Particularly with those who also did not really like being in this world. I was also worried about the rift it may be placing between my wife and my daughter as well.
Yadda Yadda - At other times I have to be more assertive whilst offering support ... "please make some better choices so you at least don't continue to increase your suffering with unnecessary pain. Ultimately the decision is yours but please do understand that other's can't be held responsible for the final choice you make. In no way is that to dismiss your reasoning for where you at with yourself now, but just know no matter what happens in our lives, that we still have choices that only we can make without the influence of anyone else. Taking your own life is one of them."
Of course I am often told to "piss off!" or something to that affect when I attempt to respond like so to the threats. I still persist though when I see a crack in the door aim more to the side of being gentle. I take all threats of suicide seriously but do my best to avoid the drama often intended. Even with my own thoughts I do the same. Which is why I am writing as I do. I am glad I can once again writing.
I love my daughter with all my heart like I do all my kids no matter how old, successful, dysfunctional or whatever. I'm coming to learn that not all of us see or feel as the other does and that reaching out and making connections is not always going to happen. This fact makes the yearning more painful. (Try not to yearn) So it is in this case very painful to watch my daughter feeling as she does. My eldest boy has much pain as well and whilst to my knowledge is not currently this time around suffering with suicidal ideations, I do know he holds a lot of resentment towards both my wife and I. Of course none of this is nothing new for many Mums and Dads. Let's not also discount our world being what it is and what it's been. However it's good to nut these things out rather than let the continue to take root. (Yet again thinks about Eckhart's theme on the World's Residual Pain and how that spreads) All these things chip away at our very soul and left unchecked disable in ways that no clinical or atypical treatment can ever address. In most cases our quick fixes just null the reality in a way that we know is shallow and short lived. This is why we keep upping that dose or changing the stream. I won't bang the drum on that because It is good enough for me to know about said traps rather than dismiss others who indeed find peace with what does not work for me. Rather my point is that some things we cannot change and as mentioned before; acceptance is key.
Our lives will no doubt continue to experience much pain. Many untimely deaths yet to come, but what's more is watching those we love become the walking dead. I've been walking this way myself for many months and every time I bring myself out of it, I then see others suffering the same. It's a hard cycle to live. How I wish to detail each of those episodes often sets the tone and length of each duration. It also accounts for how gently I come be at times. Gentle being my preferred state of existence. Many think that be more a symptom of weakness spawn from PTSD or past traumatic experiences. I know it helps me cope in ways I can sustain and that the alterative only leads me into yet more pain. The more we reject that which we cannot change becomes the driving force that is in direct opposition to our state of being. This something as I see rife in todays world ← and that insight being what leads many of us into a state of imbalance. Yet whilst the scales are tipped there is a survival instinct woven deep within each of us (despite deeply felt urges to giving up) which keeps many of us getting back up. I just happen to be one of those individuals. Gets tiring to be sure. But hey, once you have been living it long enough you get the idea which alterative is brings less pain.
Is ok to be a nut case, retarded and even non functional as to be considered normal is not what it seems. Do you relly want to function in an insane world? Of course living pain free is optimal with an intent not to see others suffer and better yet: strive for a world where we all live in some degree of comfort. Despite this world's inherit falibility, I am thankful I still have the mind set to at least every now and reconnect with what makes me - me. To be sure there are many facets within our society that strive to keep us from do as much.
For some, this write up might come off as just more trivial wallowing. At least for me whilst it does deals with a lot of undesirable points I won't this time around put it in the category of bulldust. In my own head I could not of been clearer. It's what I needed to craft in order to take another step in a sea of suffering.
OK maybe a little bit of BS. Laughs out loud.
This post was brought to you with the assistance of:
Last edited by Ponder; 11-01-2020 at 06:18 PM.
Hello, Ponder..Originally Posted by Ponder
Nah...that wasn't BS - what you wrote helped me tonight and thank you for reminding of this. I need to always remember that its perfectly ok to be 'me'. The only things I need to change are for my own well-being not for other peoples expectations. Yes.. society seemingly teaches us we need to try to fit in and blend in. I see blind followers and less individuals these days - not for me. What's wrong with being an outsider...I'm proud to be a misfit
Good, though, you can still laugh out lough with everything you're dealing with.
Keep up the good work and stay strong.
Wishing you well..
~Sal
Last edited by salvator here; 11-02-2020 at 07:27 PM.
Hey Sal, nice to see you again.
I try not to think of it as work but know what you mean. It surely is a discipline or takes a bit of work to maintain balance in such an unstable world. Thanks hitting on some similarities with your own line of thinking. I do appreciate other people's perspectives. Here's to all the misfits of this world:
Although like you, I prefer to keep mine non-alcoholic. Congrats by the way on your powering through with the sobriety. I hope that's going well? I can appreciate what the road trip is like.
_______________________________________
______________
______
_
Hey man if you don't mind I'm going to add a little bit of a write up to that sheep mentality issue I kind of hit on towards the end in my other post, but promise not to put my tinfoil hat on. Have you heard of George Orwell? I'll spare everyone David Icke's take on an Orwellian totalitarian state, but rather just mention the movie that was made from George Orwell's 1984 script (seven minute comic book style summary that I thought was fair enough)
As interesting as that was, I kind of found another take by the same guy that did that above seven minute summary on George Orwell. This time it was about a guy named Aldous Huxley on his script 'Brave New World'. Here's the comic book style summary on that one.
What really stood out for me was a quote that Huxley comes out with 30 years later in a follow up book Brave new World Revisited:
"In 1984 (Orwell's Book) the lust for power is satisfied by inflicting pain; in Brave New World, by inflicting a hardly less humiliating pleasure." (Aldous Huxley, Brave New World Revisited)
Here is another extract (I found on a Youtube channel → 'Academy of Ideas') which really got my attention:
“There will be, in the next generation or so, a pharmacological method of making people love their servitude, and producing dictatorship without tears, so to speak, producing a kind of painless concentration camp for entire societies, so that people will in fact have their liberties taken away from them, but will rather enjoy it, because they will be distracted from any desire to rebel by propaganda or brainwashing, or brainwashing enhanced by pharmacological methods. And this seems to be the final revolution” (Aldous Huxley, Tavistock Group, California Medical School, 1961)
Next year (2021) will be fifty years on from that the above claim.
I think Huxley pretty much nailed it. I say this someone whilst I don't like meds, have them sitting on my shelf on the ready as directed by allotted psychiatrist. Additionally chemicals are not just used in medicines but also delivered via food, drink, water supplies and a wide array of other debated methodologies. Whatever way you look at it - I think it's pretty much indisputable. The alloted (lol at the term allocated - may as well keep in theme with the books hehe) phycologist that comes to my house weekly encourages topics like these and then ends it by recommending that I watch more Netflix for a distraction.
One moment please →
Srry, I needed that. I know the guy means well and I actually like him. He is probably right although I can think of better distractions myself. Self regulated distractions I don't mind and I know this was the more healthier context in which the phycologist meant. Mass distraction is another kettle of fish and more the topic woven in these quotes and links.
I've mostly just added quotes and links and don't want to become opinanted on the subject and did say I would not put on my tinfoil hat which I beleive I've lived up to. I just wanted to share this info on the subject of today's sheepish society was all. I won't asume but can only hope that you and some of the others are aware how it is that people who love their comfort will be resistance to such topics. I only wish others like myself who are they themselves caught up in the addiction of comforts or this well designed management system as it be find these links an interesting watch. No big deal.
I'm not overly invested in it or posting about it anywhere else. I'm not into the whole protesting, vigilante or activist thing as I beleive that just plays into the trap. I guess there are ways and means to play a part but for me I am happy to let it all play out. I don't mind taking a back seat and in places like share and make sense of it all myself. The way I see it at the moment is that the first step to freedom is education and that starts as soon as you get out of school. Sadly the way they today's conditioning works, it can take a life time to recover from that. Those of us that get some kind of idea of what's going on are the one's that end up insane. But I am sure you already know about that. lol. Sorry I don't mean to assume. Just hoping you know what I mean.
I just link the video I came across that got my attention and leave it at that. I'm just doing what the psychologist told me to do. Instead of using Netflix I am using my YouTube Premium Account. I am definitely caught up in the pleasure trap. Working on it.
Whatever yours and anyone elses take, I hope this find you and the others well.
EDIT - Could not help myself. I thought I better add this as I am currently finding it a good grounding with all the above in mind ... although know others may not be as prone to being caught up as I.
Brave New World vs Nineteen Eighty-Four featuring Adam Gopnik and Will Self ←Was a good watch - might be hope yet, although I think the algorithm is too powerful. Does not mean we can't still create our own world and ensure we have just enough discomfort to keep it real. lol Although for many including myself giving up the suffering is an entirely different story in itself.
Last edited by Ponder; 11-03-2020 at 04:39 AM.
Smiles to think how after last night's post our wonderful algorithm brought to my attention via whatever feed - The Demiurge, Satanism, 5G, Cabal and so on and so forth.
The well to do in forums of debate refer to themselves as the Alpha in a tier reflected by ticket price whilst those more entertained by symbols and fascinating tales use the term elites. I'm now coming to see every single one of us as caught up in a masterfully woven web where the VS' in debate is as much spinning the web to that which it acknowledges. We just seemed destined to argue for argument sake regardless of how culture claims it's the only way for civility Vs barbarism. See how easy 'Vs' comes into it again. Around and around it goes - no body knows.
Once again I Smile to think how after last night's post our wonderful algorithm brought to my attention via whatever feed - The Greys, Aliens, Demiurge, Satanism, 5G, Cabal and so on and so forth.
______________________________________________
I wonder how the election is going. - Not! - It really never ends. Seriously I now write about these things differently than I did before. I allow myself to get caught up in all this drama just like everyone else. I took a really deep dive into both ends. Binging on everything from Ufology to Gaia TV & Ted Talks - both extremes - with many in-depth lectures on everything in-between ... covering most classes and or would-be/s/Audiences/Identities and let's throw in Entities.
My question is where do I go next now that I've had my fill? Perhaps I work on my own summery to quell my thoughts?
For now I think I will dive back into my digital world. Yes I know it is no more than yet another ingredient to all that prose. I find it amusing that I am drawn in by a fascinating game that really hits home on all the above. It's a space game that allows me to create a society that goes out in exploration yet the freedom to thrive is undoubtedly limited to the game mechanics and overall programming. Nevertheless I will call it my new distraction which will no doubt educate me in both terms of Orwell and Huxley:
The game is called Stellaris. Looks like Flight Sim and Truck driving is going to have to take a back seat. Originally I was going to take a dive into Crusader Kings II (been on the back burner for a while) or Europa Universalis IV. I chose Stellaris as whilst it is still going to require a lot of learning - the intake for newbies like me on the others I have heard takes longer. The reason I have been heavily into sim games of late is that the need for violence is not so great. Pretty much devoid in fact.
I'm not sure why, but I want to explore more with human nature as it is explored in these other forms of entertainment/education/conditioning. In that sense the whole First Person Shooters have become nothing but sickening and mind numbing. I was once a very avid FPS player in their infancy. I guess I am just getting wiser. lol
I think I'll probably go back and forth to the flight Yoke and Steering wheel and more than likely wind back up in an Open World Exploration Game without the same old FPS hacking and slashing ZZZzzzzzz.
Well that is it for this write up. For now I must learn to play the game as human as it the best tutorial I can find. Thereafter I think I will create a race of robots to nanny us up the levels and see if I can give it some kind of Utopian ending. Whatever works ... or floats my boats. Will be interesting to work through the conflict.
Have a good day peeps or evening - whatever it may be.
Good morning guys. Hope this finds you well. This morning I could not help but shake off some residual impacting thoughts that could of prevented me sleeping last night if I had not come to a point where in the end I simply gave up on the worrying. Long short, I can turn off my TV when it comes to intrusive conditioning, but it's much harder to control the negative impact that such programming has on others. More over the perpetual effect that spreads through communities like wildfire can be near impossible to avoid regardless of how much we seek to keep our distance or block out the light.
Keeping the distance for many includes staying at home. This point has nothing to do with Covid19 and it's associated lock downs. In hind sight I think Covid19 has been a good thing to unsettle those who've been far too comfortable via social engineering as Huxley explains; A Brave New World/Revisited. Of course I mean not to say it's good to see people suffer, yet so many have been suffering before the controversy know as CV19. Most people have and still are quite blinkered. Yet for all the attempts to stay at home and create our own bubble, the poison of this world still finds its way in. We turn off our TV's but then inevitably wind up grabbing our phones and whilst thinking we have the perception management licked, still end up vulnerable to a steady stream of notifications. (Which then triggers a new stream of thought.) Just when you thought you had notifications turned off. If that is not enough we live in denial whilst still hooked on the wide array of digital addictions; posting/boasting how healthy, wealthy and wise we think we be. The need for validation stronger than ever before.
If your not walking around with a broom stick up your but to keep you walking tall all jacked up on phone induced bliss, then your most likely depressed trying to dial down the noise pollution that makes it's way in. Honk HONK! Neighbors partying and or simply yelling and screaming at their kids. How about blocking out that intrusive light? How many of us keep adding layers to our walls and windows? A neighbor who cares less with undirected flood lights lighting up your house or even the overpowered street lights constantly making their way in? These forms of pollution perhaps not an issue for some, but very much for many living in densely populated areas. Those who consider themselves untouchable are just as susceptible to Huxley's vision in which we undoubtedly now live.
I've touched in the past on our 'Shrinking World'. I ponder to think how it is that we can avoid the storms whilst in a sinking boat? These first couple of paragraphs have not yet touched on the meaning of my title for this post, but rather jumped straight on into the futility of escapism as that relates to Huxley's vision with this world being what it be. Not just yours or my reality but that in which the collective exists. No matter the methodologies I adopt in order to create my bubble of protection the above projectionsand pollution always seems to make its way in.
_________________________________
_________
_
Now that I have attempted to address the chaos … what is the relevance of the title? The difference between weather and climate is that one is local and the other regional and deals more with long term effects. Both are relevant to creating a bubble of protection that can come with us even when leaving the house. But for me to ponder on that I need to take a break and start my day. I'll do well if in my next post I continue this line of thought.
I'm not content with where I am at and have been struggling so long now that I am worried I am not be able to bounce back like as I have done so many times before. Something is wrong and I'm just pondering in order to feel my way around in the hope to get a grip. I am extremely sapped like never before. I'm into my second week of clean eating, but way too tired than I ought to be. I'm not going for any blood tests just yet or any trips to the doctor as I suspect it's more my environment - local and regional at that.
All the issues I listed above are very relevant for me. I find myself having to shut windows in order to dial back the intrusions yet doing so has me sleeping in a room depleted of life sustaining O2. That's just one in a number of actions and consequences to living in a shrinking world with care-less people who they themselves are also struggling. The latter being a compassionate sense of reasoning that yields to the insanity that would rather have me go berserk. No doubt part of the answer to which I seek with respect for self.
I'm trying to find a universal response as highlighting every issue in a world of triggers is can often make things worse. That said, getting at the source still helps. Different approaches for different folks. Yet there are many things that work on the whole. Laughs out loud to think of both Orwell and Huxley which is stating the obvious. We only like to switch between personal and universal when seeking the most comfortable and quickest response. So true! I also at times overcomplicate things as just another form of distraction and to be sure that is one of many traits.
Until next post ... better out than in. Here is to a good day!
Adios.
Last edited by Ponder; 11-05-2020 at 07:31 PM.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
