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  1. #101
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    Oct 2013
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    Australia
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    ... Is Sleeping ...

  2. #102
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    Oct 2013
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    OK - I am awake now, although winding down after another day. First things first. A little background assist. Guaranteed to put me back to sleep.

    Same as on the last page. I am a bit picky with some of the others. Must be my antenna - Yawns:

    I really don't know what to say. I think I was acknowledging my huge weight gain if I scroll back to the previous page. Cortisol levels out of whack to be sure. Routine has been very very hard to get going. At least one that has a good balance of stress free components and or healthy stress related ones. I'll just keep focusing on my sleep, walking and hydration.

    I need to sleep proper tonight. I'll try this again in the morning. The music is working like a charm. Not long got back from an evening walk.

    ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Goodnight.

  3. #103
    Senior Member
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    Apr 2016
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    Maryland (MD)
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    Happy new year!!! I recently went to the doctor and he said for me to lose 15 pounds or so. He raised his voice a bit and said look, your not in your 20s anymore, so you better get on it.

  4. #104
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    Jan 2016
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ponder View Post
    Thanks Sal. Time to ditch the avatar now. I've been having late nights as well. looks like 11pm for me as well. Mind if I ask if you struggle with weight at all Sal. Having such a hard time getting on top of my weight issue at the moment. Just can't summon up enough energy to kick over a metabolism that evens out what I eat and or I struggle to reduce what I eat to match my lack of energy.

    Not much to say tonight ... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    Happy New Year, Ponder!

    Since I stopped the gabapentin, I've not had too much trouble with my weight - I hover right around 160 lbs which is about right my height and bone structure. For some reason, I've lost the taste for sweets and that made a huge difference. My sleep is still erotic though; and I'm certain my cortisol is off; as well. I'm also on steroids, so, that isn't helping my issue, but I do need it. I do force myself to walk everyday, though I haven't been getting much more than 1/2 mile these days. Stress.. well, that's still not good for my cortisol either.

    That's good to know the soothing music is helping your sleep.

  5. #105
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    Apr 2016
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    Maryland (MD)
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    I take Melatonin quick dissolve under my tongue before I go to bed and it helps me sleep.

  6. #106
    Senior Member
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    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
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    Hey guys. TY Kirk. Happy New Year to you guys as well. I'm not making it a new years resolution or anything but I will be jumping to it over the next few weeks. The doctor is right about the reminder of how much harder it is when your no longer 20. I've got over 3 decades past since and now the time is crucial for me to get a grip re my weight. I won't show the pics I took the other night, but suffice to say I'm dealing with fat rolls that can be lifted on my sides and my back is also accumulating way too much fat as well. I feel I am at a pivotal point of do or die. The only other time I got this bad was when I up to it and lost 36kg just shy of 80 pounds!

    Since the huge operation on my shoulder and my recovery ... well ... I'll never be able to hit the exercise at the same level ever again. That said, I was a bit crazy exercising at the level I was. More a coping mechanism that I have had to let go of like when I used to smoke. Still going through withdrawals I think re the no more repetitive heavy lifting.

    Despite having my own take/bias on the medications, I do want to say "mores the power to you guys if you find something / anything that helps!" Without a doubt as I get older I will mostly likely start taking some form of meds either way. Whilst I do have some genuine predispositions that see my endure many side affects, I have also developed some phobias that have not helped re meds. If anything I am at a good age to at least start trialing some supplements. I've toyed around be not done anything definitive.

    I've got a good handle on the alternative with what I eat and drink. A proper cold press diet with whatever solids and yadda yadda can work wonders. This I know from my own experiences. BUT ... and it is a big but ... the phycological imbalances endured in whatever climate/dynamics are making this pivotal point - re do or die ... very problematic to say the least.

    Forgive me ... I mean not to rave on. Just making sense out of my options. The good news is that over the last few days I have been sleeping well enough and getting just enough outdoor light. Home relations are stained somewhat as we are all going through new routines but it's workable and our supports are back on board re the Xmas break. Looking forward to catching up with my therapist as well. I like those meetups.

    Here's to all of us finding balance whatever way we can. ... on second thoughts I might try something else:

  7. #107
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    Jan 2016
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    Yeah, I think, start with walking - even short distance to start - is good for your health. I think we all sort of need to get back on track to better overall well-being. So much change to start out the new year; no doubting that. I stopped making (unrealistic) new years resolutions ages ago...the let down was too painful. Certainly understand phobias re medication - I do have that; as well. Sleep is so important, know that. Glad you said (reminded me) "balance"...I tend to forget that term rather than saying "normalcy" (whatever the heck that is) Lol

  8. #108
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    Yea - It's tough when having let go of a good routine. It's the come back phase that I am so over. During the last last few times I put in the huge effort required in order to 'overcome'... I am now feeling less able to get do what it takes to correct my lack of will. It's in that context that I can't underestimate the important of balance. I get there is a rhythm to life, but the unnatural way in which most of us live today makes those highs and lows a very unhealthy and uncomfortable experience.

    Now with that said, I smashed a treadmill workout this morning. 1 minute walking - one minute running. For me at this stage, I ended up with sweat all over the wall and floor. I'm now using carboard lightly learned against the walls to protect them. I went for a caul half hour walk before the treadmill session. I'm back into using my mini-tramp before bed follow with some balance ball stretching. I've had to employ these tasks as I am not making much progress re the food and hydration.

    It's the only way I know to bounce back. I'm like "Fuck it! I need to do what I need to do!" It really is a case I need to be cruel to be kind - although I am sure there is a better way of saying that. I need to exert myself in order to suffer less. I need to stress my body by choice in the only way I know that works so that I don't take on negative forms of stress that eat me up. Literally this summer I have bee struggling with rashes, fatigue, brain fog, Insomnia, nausea, overeating, being bloated, food educed coma - lol at the last one, but I assure you it's no fun. ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz but so sick you can't sleep and it you do you wake up several minutes later on the nod feeling even more tired and sick.

    I've had blood tests since then but heard nothing back. Must be in the clear as far as diabetes goes, however, the whole food thing and my weight is most defiantly an issue. Of course those are not CORE issues, although fast becoming like so if I don't do something about the above issues/symptoms.

    I'm not going to go into the core as I think we all just say 2020 will suffice. That said, I am not going to fool myself thinking 2021 is going to be any better. I just literally laughed out loud then. Sigh ...

    OK … I just hope I can keep smashing out those treadmill workouts. I really need to detox faster than my food related will power's ability. Next month I turn 52. I know that is young compared to a few others in here, but I won't fool myself to think it's young enough to keep sustaining athletics comeback bouts between seasons of abuse. I could once rely on that, but no longer. The 2 years of sedentary collapse has well and truly fucked me up. I've lost a lot or respect for myself during that process and allowed many negative attachments to deeply embed. I may be controlling myself from going insane, but I'm slowly being eating away with my physical health is a state of decay. It goes without saying just how harder it is mentally when the vehicle is non functioning. Literally feels like suffocating.

    Here's to the next treadmill bouts. Please don't tell me to go easy on myself. I've done way too much of that.

  9. #109
    Junior Member
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    Jan 2021
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirk View Post
    I take Melatonin quick dissolve under my tongue before I go to bed and it helps me sleep.
    Hi. Do you feel weak the next day? I wanted to try this before but a friend of mine told me it makes her feel shaky the following day.

  10. #110
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    Oct 2013
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    Melbourne, Australia
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    Quote Originally Posted by the_self_of_all_selves View Post
    Please don't try to befriend me...
    Hey Self, remember when Dahila got Kirk mixed up with Kik (messenger)?
    "You're the worst thing that ever happened to me." --Marla Singer

 

 

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