Welcome to the Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks.
Page 6 of 11 FirstFirst ... 45678 ... LastLast
Results 51 to 60 of 109
  1. #51
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    1,057
    Read every word, Ponder.

    I hope it helped you in some way to get all that out at least.

    Just hope you bounce back soon and recover and get some sleep. Optimistic outlook or otherwise (realistic).. here for you

    ~Sal
    I'd rather be a 'could-be' if I cannot be an 'are' because a 'could-be' is a 'maybe' who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a 'has-been' than a 'might-have-been' by far; for a 'might-have-been' has never been, but a 'has' was once an 'are.

    -Milton_Berle

  2. #52
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,220
    It certainly did Sal. Thanks for the kind words and really appreciated being accepted as is.

    Still have a tickle in my throat that is more about about coughing tonight. Bit of a chesty cough at that. Heading off to bed now hoping I get some better sleep.

    GOOD NEWS - we MIGHT ... mabey ... might have finally found a more appropriate house to move into. We have been pre-approved before having seen the house. Tomorrow morning we have a look and decide if we want to move on in.

    Thanks again Sal - Hope this finds you well.

  3. #53
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,220
    Righto! Time to bounce back. Still recovering from the flu like symptoms minus the fever but feeling like it is time to start moving once again. I did put on all weight that I lost but that is OK! I know this move will soon put me back on track in regards to that. Lots to do and lots to plan. I knew if I unpacked my treadmill we would get accepted for a place. No I will pack that back up as well as disassemble the huge tramp out the back. My hope is once the little guy sees me taking down his prime means of regulatory that he will better process the beginning of our next move. He and I can find other ways to process without the tramp and treadmill. He can help with some boxing to be sure. It's all about being inclusive as I have said many times before.

    Back on the coffee but that OK too!

    Just kidding ... whatever it takes to get rolling again.

    We have dealt with the power transfer dates as well an internet connectivity. The latter always a trigger. lol That said, mobile connectivity is great these days. Even if it is frying my brain.

    OK enough with the jokes. On a more serious note driving the truck is not something I am looking forward to. That damn road rage incident still lingers in me when I am on the road in a smaller car let alone a truck. As far as getting a removalist to help - No chance of that. Unless you can afford the high price for those that show respect when handling people and their stuff, you just end up with the type similar to the guy that attacked me. I will always move myself until I brake my back. We have decided to pay two weeks at one place and the other for the overlap. Much easier that way. I'll hire a truck for 48 hours and have all the boxes and furniture position on the ready for the to and fro. Age is a bitch but I can still do it despite the shoulder still on the mend. Thank goodness I still have a strong back.

    No time to feel sorry for myself now. I am thankful that I will be able to get a couple of hours here and there from my support worker who I will time with the huge upside down fridge. Gotta love those upside down fridges hey. Kind of makes me think who came up with the stupid idea of bending down so low to grab everyday items vs not. Damn thing is heavy though for a modern fridge. When eating healthy I need a fridge like a walk in wardrobe. hahaha ... is true though.

    OK - Yummy coffee almost gone now. I best prep the house for the cleaner. I usually rinse, pick things up and sort out the clothes pile and prep the way for her. That way they can do more and a better job. The whole concept with that support means I do a lot more than I otherwise would. That kind of support I feel most people in do not understand. Instead they despise me for having it whilst trapped in their perception of work and what other people owe them. Me ... I learn how to make the most of what's on offer and if I can't get support I will just do what it takes to achieve what it is that I feel I need to do ... not what others tell me I should. This is were opinions split and divide as those who have less repel in feeling they should have more and those whom are not happy in their role think others should have less and struggle more. Bitch of a world ... but fuck it ... I only focus on those who are prepared to help. Lest I find a way to do what needs doing myself. My wife can't help like she used to when it comes to lifting - but she is amazing with all the other things I would be so useless at. I will miss her dearly if she goes first.

    What's Next - set the stage did I? Hmmmm Finally a house with more space:
    Although there are always people doing it far worse than us. We decided to give our daughter the Master Bedroom with the Ensuite. She even gets air conditioning. I do not! But that is OK - I am really stokes that my daughter will finally get some much needed breathing room. I have this curse that when any of my kids suffer it feels like a knife in my chest. I don't know how to describe it but it really hurts like that.

    I sam going on again ... srry guys.

    That's a wrap.

    Take care and have a good day. On the mend now.

  4. #54
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,220
    Getting in the Groove for Whatever Comes Today:





    __________
    ____
    _

    Just a little bit of my own pre-programming before I do more packing. I have to admit despite my frustration with it all, I've still been dabbling on Youtube again. Not the muso links, but they too have been fun and rewarding. Just trying to create my own relgion before giving my sales pitch.


    I'm in the process of writing a book the will be released in our next life.

    Your Savior Coming Soon:


    Just kidding. Or at least I think I am. The internet is such an adventurous place... at the moment. At least for now. Move are constantly being made in Australia to control it. I will just ride with the tunes above and see what comes. I've been getting into didgeridoo vibes of late. Seems to of accelerated my healing and energy levels .. although could just as easily be the coffee as I am caffeine sensitive. Speaking of which I'll have to get back on the straight and narrow come tomorrow.

    I see the masses can't make up thier minds with reports of hundreds and thousand of people dying in America and then all those gatherings like chooks penned up in a mass factory. Makes about as much sense as the internet. Go Figure. Bit like that way here too although the numbers nowhere near as reported in other places. One minute is lockdown, then next its opening borders back up to keep the economics happy. Open / Close - Open - Close and so on.

    I guess it's tough planning the next mass control stratagem with so many people in the world.

    Woops ... Seems I am plagued with attachments this morning. Must of been something to do with my lucid dreaming last night. Sigh.

    I best do some more meditations.

    Later Guys.

  5. #55
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,220
    Hey Sal - Enthydr - If you guys don't mind guitar I share with you a famous Australian Guitarist known as Tommy Emmanuel. I have a signed instructional book of his somewhere ... actually come to think of it I have misplaced it during one of many moves.

    Anyways - give him a little time to warm up. He goes through a few different renditions from about half way on and up. Only 5 minutes worth but nice and juicy:



    I link one of the songs in the above. A full version where you can see him digging deep. I got about half way through it then gave up. I was only using like Tab Edit with a more basic version but it sounded pretty awesome whilst I could remember what my right and left hand were doing. I'm a finger picker myself when ever I play and like very much Tommy's Base over Lyrical style with drum tapping and the lot. That first video pretty much sums up how he can make a guitar sound like 3 or 4 playing different tunes together and the last link a song I tried to master and one that got my attention when I first came across Tommy. He is getting on in age but if anything sounds like his gett better like his solid top guitar no doubt. I can play nothing like tommy but he is my inspiration when it comes to guitar.

    Daytripper / Lady Madonna (The Beatles) | Songs | Tommy Emmanuel

    Other than that - I also like fingerpicking classical. I find classical gas and link that one. A little different to what I meant but sounds pretty awesome too.


    Last edited by Ponder; 11-27-2020 at 01:38 AM.

  6. #56
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,220
    Found IT! I thought this was a funny one as the guy introducing him seems to be smitten with Tommy. LOL ... hope you like this one too. Leave you guys to it.



    PEACE

    Edit - I swear (re the ending of this video) I don't know why all the Jesus stuff is getting into my posts. GEEZUS Man????????
    Last edited by Ponder; 11-27-2020 at 01:46 AM.

  7. #57
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,220
    OK - Time to pick up my Brothers Guitar and start Practicing. RIP Bro. It's been over 6 years now since his death. I think I can pick it up now. This next rendition nailed it for me. Harmonics I absolutely love, although only able to do very very basic stuff. I know I will never ever be this good, but I do like messing around on the guitar with stuff I can at least remember akin to a meditative riff. Over and over and over ... and over again. If your prone to nozning out on OCD kind of stuff then finger picking with a few learning materials can be fun. I just have not been able to pick up my Bros guitar because these instruments are really an extension of players and I know my bro loved his very much. He also respected my ability and was reason he picked it up. I think it's time to get back into it. I make no promises but just to meditate and learn only a couple of tunes that might see me out for a couple more years. If I am content with my ability in the months ahead, I might even aim to pick myself up a Tommy Styled Martin for more inspiration.

    Sorry to of spammed a couple of posts - This was the one that make me bite and unpack my Bros guitar. Of to find some hard to get tommy tab.


  8. #58
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,220
    Actually decides to put the guitar back down and continue simply being a listener.

    Reinhardt digs deep in this next one and seems completely unaffected by those around him. Good way to be!



    I'm still perplexed at the God content woven into many of the attractions I have been drawn to of late, but only make note of it given my well known loss of faith and trust when it comes to that side of mainstream conditioning. I think it's obvious that which perplexes me is not the case for these individuals as they do their thing. Quite the opposite it seems.

    Having a hard time with chatter in your head?
    Awakening from Self-Talk All little stories in the head with their own little identities that put exclamation marks on the end! Oh I am suffering! - Can't be giving that shit up now! Poor Me!

    ... and laughing at it really aint all that bad. At first when you hear others laugh you might take offense as I once did but you soon realise they are not really talking about you. More directed towards that ego that so many feel they need to defend.
    Here's a good one on Laughing: Although I suggest going on a long slow walk to listen to this one.

    Righto - time to pack up my bedroom.

  9. #59
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    1,057
    Quote Originally Posted by Ponder View Post
    I'm still perplexed at the God content woven into many of the attractions I have been drawn to of late
    Yeah, same here, I've been also thinking of religion more so than usual and my therapist even mentioned it as I don't normally discuss it very much, because its not an issue normally. But now.. those old teachings surface around this time of year; I think its because the holidays are approaching upon us. We should give ourselves a break in that department...I think its normal. But you only said you were "perplexed" so that isn't too bad, actually.

    I wanted to let you know I've been reading your postings, and I'll make my comeback soon.
    I'd rather be a 'could-be' if I cannot be an 'are' because a 'could-be' is a 'maybe' who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a 'has-been' than a 'might-have-been' by far; for a 'might-have-been' has never been, but a 'has' was once an 'are.

    -Milton_Berle

  10. #60
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,220

    Why I Feel Holidays Are Fake & Most people Too

    Thanks Sal. Means a lot to me.

    Christmas/Xmas to me is no more than just another economical gathering. You can't get anymore hypocrisy in one short period than mixing secularism with religion. It reminds me of the gospels (Matthew 21:12-13) detailing how it was that Jesus overturned tables in the temple making his presence felt where he drove out all those buying and selling. It matters little if it happened or not - but the point is about the BS of exploitation in one form or another. I go beyond the scope of dogmatic believers and nonbelievers prefering to see right through the lot of them. The way I read it - Jesus did to.

    The teachings of Jesus are not all that bad. Hell, even Eckhart Tolle draws from a few. That said, many christians consider Eckhart as the Antichrist. Yet, many of the same guys dressing up as demons for Halloween are the same ones who go to church throughout the year. Indeed a very confusing world. All these holidays, including the religious ones are really no different than everyone racing out to get the cheapest deal on X, Y & Z. You got to admit that Boxing Day Sales look no different than a CV frenzy swiping toilet paper off the shelves in one foul swoop.

    I mean sure, people get all bubbly around Xmas time with even the biggest ashole can be found at church; working on their profile. Or when something bad happens and the media raises the red, white and blue - all of a sudden masses of people flock to the churches and pray like crazy for fear of whatever. Within a couple of days many go back to banging the neighbors wife, gambling, doing drugs and stabbing each other in the back or just doing whatever it takes to be one up on on the other. Everything goes back to normal.

    To me - Holidays are just another form of frenzy spending where if Jesus were alive today he would be out doing a lot more than just up turning tables. Maybe he is saving it all up to come bursting out of the clouds with the wrath of God as described in revelations. According to others it might be an army or draconians instead - however as far as that story goes, as long as there is suffering they will let thing be as they are far too busy feeding of our despair.

    Whatever way I look at things - Holidays are toxic point blank no matter what theory people dream up for whatever backstory. I also find the slave mentality driven into the concept called work just as disabling. Alas - that is not to dismiss the fine work of others who enjoy their toil and reward. This is just my point of view regarding holidays and the hypocrisy.
    ______________________________________________

    Spirituality - chuckles how that is also now a peddling industry but it need not be. I think despite that which the Bible highlights as a toxic world that we can still exist within it without having to succumb to all the wants and desires. That's what I mean about many of those teachings still having meaning Vs those who wear the book cover but have no soul. A simple teaching the sticks for me is ... Be in the world but not of the world. It's a little more grey than that which is why I don't pay too much attention to those who thrive on pulling the words apart. For interest sake there are two Verses that deal with this aspect. John 15:19 & John 17:14–16.

    One way to dissociate from the worshiping mentality and all other things that may or may not hang one up (/cause resistance or simply trigger) is to replace the 'onus' or the concept of being property or being owned as many love to entail such biblical meanings; is to replace the 'I' for Higher Power or True Self (Higher Power being True 'Self') - where one wakes up to their true self (wake up from the madness of this world - is no longer unconscious [although waking up can still result in another level of insanity ... typically isolation and despair) and decides to no longer participate in the madness. For this the world will hate you - yet if you do not fall victim to said rejection and all its associated suffering but instead draw strength from your higher self then it is said that we can find peace within ourselves.

    The thing I would ask you to understand about me is that I personally or no longer subscribe to being owned by an invisible eternity or power source that I have never known ... other than that which dwells within. Yet - whilst I am extremely wary of all religious claims that deal in absolutes, I am open to others who claim that their higher power also dwells within but consider it seperate. I mean like whatever works. I'm no longer talking about religion but about spirituality on a personal level that has nothing to do with group mentality. Unfortunately most people in religion are very much influenced by the group and as sheepish as secular masses. To me such classes are fodder for Huxley's A Brave New World Concept which I feel is pretty much the case with how we are all controlled.

    Alas ... I wanted to identify with the BS holiday season, the hypocrisy - yet at the same time explain how it is that I am still open on a spiritual level, still find solace with some of the teaching from various religious texts and so on and so forth.
    Also that waking up to the BS in this world is indeed a very lonely affair. How it is that we feel so rejected when we catch on to said BS and how that works. (problem, reaction and solution from external forces which is the framework of mass manipulation - used in both religion and secular society)

    Moreover, what is the solution without feeding self created problems and reactions? (re footnote above)
    Just that - ignore the reports - news feeds - reported problems and claimed reactions. No need for a solution if we don't beleive in the problems. No that is not ignorance. That said, be prepared for people screaming such terms your way when you say things like, sorry - I don't have a phone number. Sorry, I don't have an email. lol - Can you imagine. Laughs out loud.

    Whilst I do have a phone and email ... I am just making a point. I AM TRAPPED as much as anyone else. I'm just thinking out loud is all and very much sick of my phone and email. There are other ways not to participate; but My God - many of them are seen as sacrilege. I mean try telling someone you don't have a phone or email. Laughs out loud again. Seriously - Once you get over the stigma and really take in the looks from behind the counter and those standing behind ... boy oh boy ... talk about perplexed. hahahahahaa. I don't do it often but when I get sick of it all I sometimes say it to gauge just how fucked up most people be.

    The other thing that I don't do that is sacrilege is I don't vote. I don't vote in a country that makes it an unlawful act to not vote. In fact it is for that very reason I do not vote. Some mental health professionals might say that is nothing more than a case of Oppositional Defiant Disorder. ODD ... hehe - As I said before - I've instead been written off as 'Unsound Mind' The other knowing for me ... is that it does not matter who gets in ... the game goes on the same. For me I feel compelled to follow my intuition and not to play society's games.

    On that note I just refer back to the first Bible Verse. lol A round and round she goes. That is society for you.

    Thankfully I don't need society on that level. Yes I jump through hoops and know how to play the game. I also have no problem spelling that out to authorities and professionals. I have the case papers and certifications and really could care less as being seen and labeled as disabled, defective, undesirable. Of course it depends on who you are talking as to the perception that is reflected. When I am sick and tired I am easily defeated in terms of those wishing to exert their training, education and self made power over me - but am I? Perhaps only defeated when I resist. When suicidal there is no resistance so that line of thinking goes blank. On the other hand when I accept the labels and care less ... happy to call a spade a spade - care less for filters and all that BS - I sometimes get lucky and meet a few genuine people on all sides of the fence. That is all I need. Just one meaningful contact every now and then.

    For those still reading me - allow me to envisage you as one of them.

    Sal ... when your ready dude please link me up to your new thread. I promise to keep my replies under 5000 charters. hehe.

    Re - post deletions ... I do it all the time too. Just keep posting about whatever whenever ... it's working for me and thanks again for taking the time to read.

    Until next post.
    Adios.
    Last edited by Ponder; 11-30-2020 at 01:12 AM.

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •