Ponder

[Ponder]

SIGH and WOW - I really don't know what to say about that. I should ask Forest Gump lol I could learn a thing or two from him. I seem to be just getting worse. I see what I can do. Anyways - I think that email was for the best. I've been called a stage show before - but what you see is what you get. It is what it is. I'm done holding it all in. This world has not time for anyone. It's all the same pace for everyone when it comes to the medical toxic ways of rushing things. There really seems no way of avoiding it though. I'm going to have to put in place better practices when attending such things. All the hustle and bustle, noises, sings, instructions are enough to contend wit for me ... but the way people deal with others is just plain disgusting the way they do. It's hard enough at the fast food drive through, but to see the same mentally in a medical center ...

This is why I no longer want to be a part of the human species and or this existence. Sad to say - somehow I have to change the way I feel about that. I don't want my grandson picking up on that. At least I am aware of it and want to do something about this way of feeling. Right now there is a LOT of low vibes going on everywhere in the world and its very much residual. I have plans ... but for now ... with the torn ligament in my shoulder still plaguing me, the COVID19 WTFE - tomorrow we have another family court hearing over the phone ... it just keeps coming.

I really do think its part of some BS agreement before I was born - but let's leave that tin foil topic for another time. I best start relaxing as best I can to get some sleep ... maybe tomorrow my bitten tongue will start to heal. rofl ... fuck it ... you goto laugh in times like these.

Goodnight! Zzzz

[Ponder]

More ADD-ONs Arrive - Scooter Bag, Handle Bar Extender & Phone Holder

Also thinking about an enteric horn but I am not a fan of the sounds. That said I would not mind a DUCK with 'quack! quack!' to break the ice with a few difficult pedestrians.







Google Maps and Easy Access! A+++

My phones buttons to not allow for exact middle placement, but so far so good. I will update as to how effective this is for the 'Galaxy Note 8'

I have it screwed in tight with my phone in another soft backing case with plexi glass cover.






Boom Box on the lower end would compliment the frame/weight/ergonomic look but still looking a little better each time. I am considering lights in the near future.

[Ponder]

I was a little disappointed on my way back from a good trip out with friends to get a call with from my NDIS Coordinator who gave me feedback on her call with the Radiology place I wrote about a few posts back. I never really heard her swear before, but she did apologize before swearing saying more or less, that she had never deal with such a (*&^ed up place in her life. We know each other pretty well and she has been an awesome support for me so I did not mind her being so lose with her terms. She knew that as well. Long story is that my - well not mine - but you know what I mean ... the NDIS coordinator assigned to be had years previous experience in public relations. So it really meant something to me, more like validated, when she in no uncertain terms said that this place of business was extremely discriminatory towards mental illness. Knowing this is a massive hurdle with many places I frequent in public I reminded her that the Mild Autism Diagnosis is actually neurological. It's true I have mental illness labels as well, but I often attempt to skirt the mental illness discriminatory complement practices by trying to educate people on the neurological processing for ASD traits. BUT - to be fair ... long term mental illness suffers also develop neurological imbalance similar to ASD traits. In fact is has been said by more than one psychiatrist and clinical therapist that my PTSD has exacerbated underlying ASD which is systemic in my family. This gets a little deep but for the most part is straight forward enough - BUT - when it comes to the medical money spinning cattle converter belts ... no one has time for empathy, compassion and all that jazz.

Sorry for long paragraph.

In a nut shell - the world in which we live today has very little time and space for so called neurotypical individuals ... unaffected (although no such thing really - just my opinion ... everyone is affected one way or another) I was advised it was not worth the effort to complain any further given that the discriminatory energy was coming straight from the top. After the coordinator rang others in her disability circles, it was confirmed that the place I was complaining about had indeed, a known reputation for abusing vulnerable people. At the end of her conversation It was permited for me to have a support person come along with me through the hole process ... but I have since been guided to attend the private hospital under bulk billing for future ultrasounds and Xrays. I'll only go into the the meat grinder for MRI only. At least in the end ... in my book ... I pulled these cruel bastards up with a pointy bone and let them know I won't be taking their shit in the future. Respect goes both ways. OK

Here my friends and I had a moment of mental instability re social distancing. Whilst we were doing pretty good with it and most of us fairly stringent with compliance ... *&^% it ... your just going to have to deal with it!

Fuck that sun is bright ... BUT ... less brighter than tomorrow if I had not gone out.



I put up some clips of out journey to that spot later on.

I sincerely hope I get some sleep tonight. All my focus is on now ... is the upcoming appointment at the hospital re my &^%$ed shoulder. It really has impacted me more than I ever thought. I really am getting older ... but that's OK. It's a new form of learning I guess. Such a blessing (for lack of a word) that I can sill ride my scooter if I don't go hard.

Night night.

[Ponder]

I had a really good solo walk this morning listening to calm radio whilst doing it. I got a call from my wife who said she was hiding in her room with our grandson because a bird flew in to say hi. When I got home I said hello to the bird, opened the front door and then it decided to leave on it's own accord.

That is the start to my day.

[Ponder]

Just ordered a horn for my scooter. But now wishing I got this set up:



Instead I settles for this one:
https://www.ebay.com.au/itm/AIR-ZOUN...72.m2749.l2649

Here is an example of someone looking for trouble using it:
https://youtu.be/ZOmU-G5uBpU?t=43

I know it might seem overkill for sidewalks and shared paths - BUT - you would be surprised at all the obnoxious pedestrians with the texting, iTunes and just outright ignorance. I will give fair warning with my bell - but not going to keep repeating it - Instead I will let RIP with my new horn - coming soon! Seriously - I think learning to tap it quickly at the right distance and timing it just right will make the different between people accepting what is and giving way or manifesting tension with regular travelers and regular routes. No doubt something to consider in smaller towns.

This purchased was inspired by a couple of ladies that refused to move out of the way on the share path. In such instances I will have no issues in helping to influence them the next time around.
I just need to get a clown one to follow up as an icebreaker ... HONK HONK!!! ... then - Squeak Squeak!

[Ponder]

Seriously ... when words fail and the world is still closing in on me:

White Sage:



I got some bad news today, but not going to empower it with a story. It's more a turning point than anything else. I walked about 9km over two walking sessions today. My only goal is to win the court battle to keep out grandson where he will be safest. After OR if we pull that off ... (looking good at this stage touch wood) ... The three of are going to start taking little weekends away without our computers. (little guy can bring his pad of course. hehe) Point being ... we are going to need to recover. We have been holding out for so long and we are still copping it from all sides.

I smell the sent a little more ... find something easy to watch then try to sleep. I need to keep that walking up and find times where I just no longer think. When you are low for too long ... negative energies attract ... attachments take place and they are very hard to shake.

Good night ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Ponder]

One of the most objective and powerful videos I have seen on the world's current perception programming. No tin foil hats here, just a lot of information that makes a lot of sense:

Now I can sleep.
Zzzz

[Ponder]

Off The Phone - Out In The Sun & Boosting My Immune System with Good Friends! A+++++

4K option still processing ... Could Not Wait. ZZZZzzzzz

[Ponder]

Might as well tough base re my shoulder. I am thankful as stated before that I can still ride my scooter, although now more roughing it for quite some time. I was informed to cancel my public physiotherapy as the damage done to my ligaments and joints is to far gone for any of that. Basically I am to treat myself like I am frail. My choices are wait 6 months and hope that I may recover a little more ability to a point that some people in the populous might consider do nothing is enough to get by. For me ... that scenario is a HUGE blow and my wife knows it. Not only because I have to lift her from time to time as well as my grandson who is getting heavier but because pushing, pulling and lifting things is a huge part of how I regulate my over all well being and most importantly, my emotions.

The plan if we can cover the private costs (will have a quote before the end of next week) is to have an artificial ligament implanted into various anchor points of my shoulder bones where connective tissues will take via the process of whatever .... bla bla bla. There is a 10% change it may not take even if I am 100% compliant patient with recovery. I have decided I have nothing to lose ... although if it does not take ... hmmm ... I can't help but think I would end up worse off??? I asked my mum to pray for both financial cost and recovery. She seems very keen to help which pleases me as her reason for doing so was quite warm. Like I say why I wont do funerals, is what we do when we are alive that counts. Mum figures she will not be around for much longer and as sad as that is ... it's true enough. I explained just how much of a lesson this has been for me re what we take for granted and how short our time really is. I know it feels long ... painfully long when in our down moments ... eternally long - but I got to say, this whole thing with my busted shoulder has really put me at the cross roads kind of thing.

I best start getting my healthy life choices together now because whilst that there is %10 or rejection regardless of patient compliance ... I figure the way I approach things can actually impact those numbers. I dare not think about how some professionals end up botching up the job. My wife and I still shake out head at how the public system screwed her ankle on in the wrong position. Sigh ...

Righto ... off to bed. ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

SWEET AS ... 4K Now available. Looks Smick! Very Happy with this little action camera.

[Ponder]

Covid19 is not killing as many as they claim - Lock Down is killing more the Covid19. That said, it's nice to hide in the house and post on a common theme. .... A common point in which to commiserate and do more finger pointing.

The Stay @ Home Crowed ... But in some places you will be beaten with a stick if you don't.