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Thread: Ponder

  1. #51
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    Biophilia - The Human Connection To Nature.

    Best bits starts → here - Alternatively just click on the video:



    The video is more about the benefits of Nature in Urban environments - The book I linked is more about developing an understanding and a knowing of how to better connect with nature in general. Given I am finding less and less of nature in some of the towns I have moved to ... learning to foster the knowledge that the below book imparts definitely helps to tune in ones body with the smallest available of pockets of nature or even a lone tree. Well worth the read or listen if you have a TTS app. Good stuff to fill in the hours if you like walking and want something positive to read or listen to.

    Came across this some time ago whist looking into forest bathing. Here is a book on the subject - NOTE* It's format is text format for TTS apps → here.
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  2. #52
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    Something out of the book I linked above really stood out whilst on my morning walk:

    The Biophilia Effect
    By: Clemens G. Arvay:
    I have already illustrated in previous chapters how complex our archaic interweaving with nature, plants, animals, and landscapes is. To heal means “to make whole.” If this is to be done in the future, we must not neglect our natural habitats and our relationships with them. We need to steer away from a medical system that diagnoses and treats symptoms and physical or psychological processes in isolation. Individual pharmaceuticals are certainly capable of alleviating individual symptoms. But our organism is too complex to continue using this approach to healing. To understand humans as part of nature, as part of the network of life, opens up entirely new perspectives and treatment possibilities in medicine and psychotherapy. I like to refer to the sensational effects of the terpenes from plant communication as an example. They beef up our immune system in the forest like no compound from the pharmacy could. The immune system is the basis of our health and one of the most complex systems of the human body. I’m not exaggerating when I say that nature’s impact on our immune system — the entire human body, for that matter — is indispensable for its function. The human body depends on its connection with nature and has been working with nature reciprocally since the beginning of our species. Not only are we a part of nature, but nature is also a part of us. The boundaries are blurred, and being human doesn’t stop at the surface of the skin, as we’ve clearly seen with the example of the immune system. A relatively young scientific discipline has emerged called psychoneuroimmunology. It examines the influences of our psyche on the immune system as well as the influences of the immune system on the psyche. The nervous system is the mediator between the physical and the psychological, hence the term “psychoneuroimmunology.”

    No doubt a mouth full for those not interested in the topic. If you do get the gist of that, then perhaps you might understand why there are many people in society still struggling with our current systems that are designed to isolate and separate. I can see it clear as day within the pharmaceutical side of things. Once you fathom how it is that the alleviation of symptoms via synthetic intervention disconnects us from the whole - it's not so hard to see how this can be as debilitating when becoming entrenched with psychotherapies that are just as narrow minded. Such tunnel vision is more suited for the ease of admin and perpetual consumption than it is for the healing of individuals. That's a sad fact that many of us refuse to accept as the alternative really does take a lot of work on our part. It need not be that way. Much of the effort to break away from such a toxic system is in deprogramming. More so finding the will or drumming up the desire to overcome what seems to be an insurmountable hurdle. Sometimes we just need reminding that everything we need to reprogram our minds is within reach and for the most part costs nothing!

    The madness I deal with is myself getting caught up in the drama myself ... then I try so hard to break away only to see others serenely welcoming new members but then themselves creating and feeding that above isolating/grouping mentality within such a state of negative energy. I repeat I get caught up in it myself. BUT ... I am once again making ground by identifying such for what it is and spending more time in dialogue with the above likewise books. It's a fine line though as I also have to ensure that I pull my self out of my own head/these threads and encompass my higher self in the content or subject that I am once again starting to image. Speaking of which I took a snap shot to assist my imagination for those times I am surrounded by nothing other than the smell of bio fuels, loud abrasive noise and concrete.



    This morning on my way back from my walk:
    [Not Just a Snap Shot]

    It is just a snap shot with my phone, but then it's not. Like quality wise you'll get people in photography forums dissing the standard of image and what not which again pays into our narrow minded thinking. I just took this knowing I wanted to talk about it as part of my post today - In this moment I had completely disengaged with the text book that was still flowing through my bluetooth ear buds and resonating in my head, but to be honest, I could not hear it. I was identifying with much of the message from that book from a total state of fascination when ever I find myself surrounded like so. It will soon be part of my practice to take the ear buds out when seeking out these fast dwindling reserves and again start using my ultralight chair for just plain sitting with the trees. Everything that is said in the book re the immune system is spot on or is as I can feel it when I am in places like this. To be sure this is just a small section of path that divides a field of houses, more asphalt and concrete paths. I genrally like to go off path into the string bits looking for open sections under a canopy.

    Time to move on to my next part of the day.

  3. #53
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    Transitions and Routine

    My approach to pretty much everything these days:



    Although I would much prefer to arrive with something other than a P90 and full battle kit.
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    Another good session this morning. The guy working out with me threw his arms up doing a power pose exclaiming how energized he felt and what a good bout it had been. We seem to be bringing the best out in each other. Since we seem to be getting along so well (despite being early days) I talked about the possibility of utilizing my newly paid friend for community access development. Think in terms of graduated exposure on a social level where you put yourself into public settings for the sole purpose of socialization. I've still not nailed my thoughts on my approach to such as it's still quite a challenge for me on many levels. I won't focus on the many triggers as in write about them in this post or touch on the fact that in most situations I really don't even see a need to force myself into said situations purely as a means to overcome whatever debilitating traits. That's the isolating kind of psychotherapy quoted/scoured earlier in my previous post re the book 'The Biophilia Effect By: Clemens G. Arvay'

    It's simpler to say, I like the guy and would not mind going on a couple of nature trips with a like minded individual and that act being the social part of the so called community access development program. I'll just find a couple of quiet spots in town that I already know. More the places that specialize in serving loose leafed herbal teas as opposed to jumping coffee beans with loud blenders and screeching coffee machines. Fly a Kite ... still yet to do that. The closest I will come to any community access program other than GPs/therpists and that type of thing is People Watching when not staring at the ocean. Perhaps throw myself in the middle no more than a test of will liken to eating a small bag of unhealthy chips to remind my self that it's all about choice and control. The truth is I will never really have a desire to mix with humans on such a level as I don't beleive our society have anything that resembles the essence of community. None the less, I will play along. Perhaps in time I may find pockets of improvements that give hope. I might even dream that hope may even spawn into a new reality as envisaged with the image that opened this post. To be sure ... for now that's a good representation of me making my approach.

    Have a good day/evening.
    Last edited by Ponder; 02-04-2020 at 04:00 PM.

  4. #54
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    Having a little trouble sleeping tonight. Outside pressures re family court and all it's associated checks and balances combined with problematic visitations, prep school with follow up appointments and so forth are all adding up. When my wife hinted as much, I was like "not long now! Once that final hearing is over we can drop back the amount appointments all round ..." Unfortunately we have at least another 6 months with said pressures and uncertainty.

    I also made the decision NOT to go ahead with the ASD/ADHD psychologist. This plays mostly into the arena of making sure that I am comfortable with whomever I choose to take on as a therapist. I'm used to taking my time, sometimes trying up to 3 different individuals before finding one that I like. That said, it's one of the few times I made a decision only after seeing someone once. Normally I would give it two or three tries.

    I'm starting to change my mind about gong to a place where other family members go. At first I thought it would be a good practice with one psychologist seeing the same family members. I suggested as much a couple of years ago to my wife in an attempt to provide her with a means to benefit in the same way I was with my psychologist. Although I am no longer seeing the same therapist, I am glad my wife now has someone to see. Currently my grandson goes to the ASD specialists where I was set up to go myself, but there was something in previous posts about the isolated approach to the medical model that I sensed was happening with the specialist I had just seen. It does validate my wife's and I reasoning that when the pressures of family court are over, that we will certainly be dropping back the amount of visits for my grandson as well. All these supports are great, but there really is something to be said for over compensating and identifying to much with one's labels. Not only does victim mentality take hold in the most subtlest of ways, (reliance factors/habitual consumer attending more for letters like making bank withdrawals than any kind of real reflection or reassessing) but it can start to feel more like a game/stage. Finding the balance I guess is key to the number of visits or not so much the gauging of oneself, but the gauging of the actually therapy and where it's leading.

    I guess I am a bit fragmented to be sure and my wife is once again on the mark. Six months is still a long time and who knows, they could again adjourn like they did the last time. Sigh. I also said something about upping my supports with a community access development program. What am I thinking!? Hmmmm But then its all in the approach I guess. Half these worries need not be as dramatic if not for the way we approach them ... Sigh ... Yet, it does all add up. The thing I struggle with these various supports is how they are money driven and that dictating the drive, the pressure to continue going to said supports, because dropping the occasional appointment affects the paid employee/business owner income. This is not really talked about much ... but it is another pressure with regards to the 'need' in having to always turn up. This for me is where freedom takes on a whole new twist. Some places will just say "it's OK, you don't have to show up, we will just bill your funding." Like there are clauses where you can cancel so many days ahead of time, but that's just more pressure. hmmmm -

    Just thinking out loud which really helps. I think I am ready to try sleeping again. Not sure about my supports though ... I wrote out my available times for the guy I am doing laps with in the morning, BUT ... think I will tell him I need more time to decide. I can appreciate his income and diary that takes a hit if I second guess and I'll tell him as much. I do have the time as my grandson is now in school, but I do have my charity computer thing to do as well as moving a house yet again for the domestic violence victims, although the latter not as frequent as the computers. I'm working on computer 14 now. That's 13 computers fully refurbished and given away with another on the way. I think I really should give this whole CAD thing a miss. Yea ... I think I will just swap time sheets with him and tell him I need more time. At the very least I might just commit to a small window with him - connecting with people is good, but the whole monetized side of things complicates it where it really does not feel free or present any kind of really freedom for me. They are always in the drivers seat ... quite literally. I actually tried to persuade the guy to riding a bike but he would not be in it. Getting them out of their car and on a bike puts them on the same level for me. YEA! fuck it ...

    I think I am gong to tell this guy I have had second thoughts but still give him my time sheet. If I do this CAD thing, I will make sure it is more in line with what me gut is telling me. I really do think there is something to getting these workers out of their car and onto a bike in order that I feel I have equal control. I've been at this for some time now. I almost forgot how that car factor can play into it for me. I am sure for others it's great ... but not for me. Hell, I might even get myself another complementary scooter for the right worker. In the mean time, I need to find one that willing to ride. A second cheap bike from a tip shop I can afford. Done deal ... problem solved. Any support person that I can get out of the car and on a bike/scooter will be OK for me. Sadly most just want to sit down at a coffee shop which does not work for me. Hmmmmm ...

    I'll just explain to this well meaning one that it's taken me a long time to set up my non reliance on cars and public transport. That I really do need someone that can at least ride a bike.

    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ... still feeling a little wired but will zone out with some mobile flick. ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz Might first 'gently' jump on my mini tramp then have a shower. Shhhh don't tell anyone what time I was up angsting over this. I might get pegged for bipolar. Laughs Out Loud. WTFE ...

    My wife is right ... too much going on. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    Last edited by Ponder; 02-06-2020 at 08:18 AM.

  5. #55
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    It's hard enough finding direction, let alone hold the course, but to acknowledge ..

    ... always makes for a good heading.

    This image I post now, I threw together using google images and Photoshop with a few words that come to mind which pretty much reflect my current state. I really was struggling the other night and whilst I did falter with varioius choices thereafter, I'd like to feel that for today at least, that I am set to hold course and make up ground. I won't used the word lost, because I feel I never really know where I am going and that's OK - It's more about holding course in one direction.




    I'll just say that the fading feature I used simulates what I once held true, but as time has passed I have come to see less what may be defined as virtue. I'm not saying they don't matter to me, but mean more how it is that such personal integrity is hard to hold onto. I've slightly angled the post because it's original stance as I feel is less true . Standing too straight comes off too cocky for me, like having one's heads in the clouds when all those around me are drowning. I'll course correct that last statement by saying it does feel empowering standing up high on my new scooter, but if I am not careful, I can easy wind up as road kill. Yea ... that about sums that up.

    I got to do stack my trailer shortly so pushed for time. There is also something about the way those fading virtues are both woven into and at the same time held back by all those traveled paths. I'm hoping my eccentricity can find a balance between true virtue vs false self. In that I peg this image up against others that play very well into the false self. Although I do my best to leave those negative images far outside this realm.

    It's hard enough finding direction, let alone hold the course, but to acknowledge ... always makes for a good heading. So it is in this wish I to say that if any of us are feeling misguided and uncertain yet chime with what's been said, then I wish us all well.

    I do what I must for today ... best go stack that trailer.

  6. #56
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    The latest forum maintenance inspired me to pick up my HTML & CSS online course again. One of the best free courses I have come across. Check it out → Udemy Web Development By Doing: HTML / CSS From Scratch & here is a really great free web hosting site you can upload your HTML/CSS. AttractSoft - The hosting prefix used in the web addresses you create (that are not paid for) are simply and short. This makes that resultant web address that one may chose easy to remember.
    __________________________________________________ _________________

    At any rate, that is the course and hosting site where I am learning and testing my new found skills. I've previously tried my hand at a front end forum creation site that uses phpBB; similar to what this forum looks like. At that time I did not have anywhere near the coding knowledge I have now have. I also feel the way I love to sponge up and exude information is just not inline with the main stream way of doing things. Most of the websites & blogs that I find refreshing and enlightening are frequented by few. So too, I expect my creations to have a solace feel. I'm in no rush though. This place currently serves as a good drafting board whilst I aim to perfect my HTML Marking Up. Once I nail the marking up and can look as several pages of html text and its interwoven content whilst picking out varioius elements at a glance, then it will be time to spend more time posting on my own front end.
    ___________

    So what can I write about?

    STAYING MOTIVATED!
    Right of the bat, I could acknowledge the difficulty in staying motivated. However, such an approach can be liken to a ploy that our negative subconscious loves to become rutted in. When it comes to healing, I am big on acknowledging! It certainly plays a huge part in what's known as ACT - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - The irony of ironies comes back to the way in which the clinical approach can become trapped in their isolating techniques where clients the adoption one modality is squarely aimed at one condition verses another. Examples would be Cognitive Behavioral Therapy solely geared towards depression and anxiety, whilst Dialectical Behavior Therapy is geared towards borderline personality disorder or emotional dysregulation. ACT is claimed to cover a wider spectrum, although the concept like all others in the medical model relies heavily on their own evidence based text which is flawed by the nature of both by the isolated focus on this or that label and of course, perpetual self made servicing aka personal work force agendas. The former I find is a big issue with over identification to on the clients part with their diagnoses. How to escape such a clinical trap?

    I like the concept of how ACT aims to cover a wider gap, but like all things that work for me ... I strive to declincalize the process. Accepting to me, is all about moving on which brings the aim of this post back into focus. I got a little lost in my own thoughts there, but that is part of the acknowledging process ... but also a trap for me my take with the above often depresses and it's in that low vibe that my energy wanes. Frustration when used as fuel to move on can at times be seemingly beneficial, but it's not sustainable. It's worked well for me on various addictions I have given up.

    Unfortunately I got to go before I could even nail my approach on staying motivated. Mostly because I want to get on my scooter in order to stay motivated. I'm at a point where getting out is not such a chore. Doing things that feel like I am in more control is really worth mentioning ... freedom and all that. The exercise is paying off, but mostly because I have been staying true to myself re my eating goals ... I am having a few wins with multiple goals that are all aligned towards the same end ... but with no end in sight. The latter being key re mindfulness and all that ... being in the moment when not fussed about much else.

    Back to playing tunes is also helping ... even though they are old. To me they are firing all the right neurons that make more alive. This too like frustration is limited ... balance is key.

    But for now ... I feel energized enough to go hooning with my tunes with a destination with someone that wants to meet me. The last bit is not required, but it's always a +

    Time to keep moving ... yet another facet to staying motivated. Although sometimes I should turn the music down and look what's in front or me.

  7. #57
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    Guess Whose Birthday



    Given I already got my scooter, I wonder what little thing I will give myself today? I was thinking of a .com web address but don't think I will even spend that much. Absolutely SMASHED this mornings workout. Came home fully drenched in sweat and still buzzing now. I do have a long way to go, but If I can keep those kind of sessions going, it wont take long before I am coming up with NEW goals. More irony for someone that does not like goal setting. It's just happening because I know its time to drop all the pitiful poor me syndrome echoed in all that bitching and whining about things that either have nothing to do with me or I aim to disconnect from. Yadda Yadda passes a tissues and leaves all that BS for those that thrive so well on it. You are what you preach. Time to change the sermon and do away with the audience. lmfao @ the latter. Not offense intended to anyone reading, although those that chime will no doubt know what I mean. If you don't and your still reading, then I guess you must be a glutton for punishment. Is precisely why I have stopped reading those that just love to bash others. Yet in my own resistance I can see the trap of doing the same thing ... so in that light ... I will move on.

    How about a UNI CYCLE!!!! Fuck Yea! Yet another Goal.


    It's a crazy notion not only because of the learning curve which I am positive I will nail ... but because I am still bankrupted after acquiring the scooter. That said, I will find a way! I'm loving this whole idea of using electric powered personal mobility devices. I used to think such things where only for the old and frail ... How Wrong Was I!!! For now I am still LOVING my scooter to bits. Already I am hanging out for my next adventure. I got a few things to do first though though. I got to put up another add on my GOODWILL COMPUTERS FaceBook Page. Then I will go drop off one of the computers we not long finished. Then I will go for my scooter ride.

    Have a good one peoples.

  8. #58
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    Don't worry, I won't disrupt your thread. I just came to say happy birthday, Ponder.
    Would there be this eternal seeking if the found existed?

  9. #59
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    Smiles a warm smile. Thank You.

  10. #60
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    I think I might of finally done it:

    davesheadspace.com

    It's rough as guts ... but a good start.

    I also bought happyscootering.com but I am not hosting that one yet.

    ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzz

 

 

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