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Thread: Ponder

  1. #201
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    They say the journey never ends ... still though, the following is what a consider a hopeful outcome - for both myself and the Earth:


  2. #202
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    Off to Hospital.

    Operation day tomorrow. I had to seek out someone today to help with the extreme pain in my upper back /shoulder blade adjacent to the torn ligament that's been replaced tomorrow. I got a Bowen massage. I was desperate and hopefully there won't be any adverse side affects as listed online. The pain in the back of my left shoulder is still very much present, but seems slightly more manageable. I have had no sleep for days now - yet again. Time to take another pain killer - its been two days since that last and it seems OK to do so regardless of surgery. I will be in hospital for a couple of days. The pulled chess muscle still hurts when I cough but no where near as bad when I did it eight days ago.

    I am worried about my back/should neck on the opposite side to busted shoulder now having packed it in given that is the side of my body that needs to work after surgery. I guess I got some major pain for at least the next solid week with pain progressing into the following weeks after that. I just focus on keeping it together in public space ... regardless of the hospital being private. My support companion will be with me all the way up until I am anesthetized. Both the surgeon and anesthetist are on par with that. I also got a single room and they even changed the number of nurses from 4 down to 2 when doing the change over in my room.

    I'm truly going to be screwed when I have to return to the public system. No more accidents! I need to wrap myself up on cotton wool.

  3. #203
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    Roast Chicken. Staying three nights. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz $600 to $700 each night for the bed and nurses. Tottal cost aroun $12500. Makes me very sad and frustrated to think how so many others miss out.

    Not used to typing one fingered ... so much I want to share ... zzzzzzz

    THANKS MUM!!!❤❤❤


  4. #204
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    ... Science & Religion both being tools to keeping people lost in the stream of time

    Back home. one handed Typing and in Tin Foil Hat Mode:


    Found it interesting from here: → Time Stamp
    Perception of time and how Science & Religion both being tools to keeping people lost in the stream of time. Take it, before and after as you must ... still fascinating despite whatever road blocks I myself run into. Road blocks such as anti vax topics / claims ect. Don't let those blocks stop you from learning how the perception management works. I care less for those topics ... I am am social media preconditioned knee jerk reactive to 90% of this myself, but the other %10 is quite revealing. Each to their own. Netflix is very boring.
    Last edited by Ponder; 06-19-2020 at 02:29 AM.

  5. #205
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    Now wonder I and the world around me is slipping into insanity.

  6. #206
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    The Healing Process

    Nut and bolt + artificial tendon. AC repair Job.



    1st got some sun ...



    and then started my first walk with the sling on today:

    Goal is to type two handed and get back to walking. Long way to go.

  7. #207
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    Feeling overtired ... have stopped the pain meds. Just taking the anti-inflammatory meds for now. Side affects of the former are a real menace to deal with. Pain is manageable now. Depression is a little concerning. Working on that too. Using two hands for now, but not going to push it. I had a way out experience in the hospital re the drugs and dream states. I save that for when I can type longer.

    ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  8. #208
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    I Miss U Brother

    Remember during one of our long distance phone calls when I first expressed my limited knowledge in eastern philosophy? Remeber how you said, "... - You one of those?" Best I can say now brother, whatever script of rebirth one may or may not gell with, I hope with whatever ounce of soul I have left, that no human being is reborn at all! At least not on or into this plane of exstinze.

    Despite our long pauses and those long distances, our connections grew faster and stronger. Not just between you and I, but also to that of all others. Given our level of disconect from not only our real selves, it's no wonder that the pain we feel is so deeply felt.

    I bet you that level of suffering when you departed this world is on par with how much I miss you. Is OK Bro, I just made myself smile. Winners & Losers; the very essence of our struggles.

    I'm still here Bro. My pain is level 10 and I'm just about all out of soul.

    Alas, I see one more time if I can find words to help me find a hole in this God forsaken trench. Not just another rabit hole, but somthing far more real that offers an escape from this endless war above.

    See you soon.
    Love David. XO
    Last edited by Ponder; 06-21-2020 at 11:54 AM.

  9. #209
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    I had a little cry after that post. Been in a vulnerable state of late and finding the level of intolerance all round too much to take in. More so unable to deflect it. The world is full of so much hate and self importance. I'm just so tired is all.

    No matter. I did get more sun today. I work on that.

    Going to back off the meds. My liver is already having a hard time and skin starting to burn yet again.

    I just focus on my breathing for now and do my best to give up what's left within.



    Be well. Sorry for those also having a hard time. I wish the world could be kinder to all.

    ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz

    Night night.

  10. #210
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    Visitation to Fathers

    I cry for my grandson tonight. He is scared to go to his dads. He has started bed wetting, expressing he would rather his father visit here, more disclosure of being hit and not allowed to cry. Sadly he will not verbalise to anyone else. Unfortunatley the father has been non responsive and combative during the rare acosasions he does. It's breaking our hearts to see our grandson suffer like so. Meanwhile he misses his mum. We are doing all we can to help open the door foor her. He does not understand why his father is abusive and why we are sending him there.

    Solicitor letters are going back and forth. We are doing all we can to prevent our grandson losing the only home he has ever known. Soon it will be seven years in the making come 2021. The stress load is incredible. Although we have very good case, we are as fearful as the little guy. As exausted as we be, we are doing an awesome job loving and caring for our grandson.

    Lots of crying these days.

    Please help us and our grandson.

 

 

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