I Have No Idea What I'm Doing!!

[gypsylee]

Come back Self!! Are you trapped under another goat?

I've got a dental abscess I think. Did I already say that? I've been knocked out on oxycodone.. Haven't had it in over a year and got no tolerance. At one stage I could function on 80mg. Now I'm on the nod after 10mg. Got antibiotics as well - I did a telehealth call with my GP and it was so easy. He faxed the scripts through to the chemist and I picked them up. I gotta admit, I'm loving the virus in some ways. Unfortunately I can't get the damn tooth pulled or root-cannalled over the phone.

All these infections are related to diabetes. It lowers immunity and makes the body more prone to infection. I've been taking my temperature through all this (the ear and the tooth) and it hasn't risen above normal once, so my immunity must still be pretty good. I can't get the diabetes under control though using the insulin needle system. I have a weird type (a combination of 1 & 2) and the doctors just don't understand it. So I'm looking at insulin pumps, which are like a mechanical pancreas and cost a fortune, but which I discovered are much cheaper overseas.. Including the UK (where I have relatives and my dad has bank accounts).

Other than that, my mother is staging some sort of grand finalé to her lifelong ridiculous behaviour. I can't go into details here because it will just make me angry. She's 78yo and has got herself in a situation that rivals even my worst in my 20s or 30s.

Despite this physical and emotional fuckery, I'm feeling pretty optimistic. I want to visit my daughter in June. She's doing well and has some supervisory job in a supermarket. She started as a checkout chick last year and they were impressed by her so she got promoted. With the whole Coronavirus thing she's actually in a good position career-wise. She's also got an inheritance sitting in the bank, which she's decided to use as part of a deposit on a house. I'm proud of her! Not in the way parents always say they're proud of their kids -- genuinely proud. We get along well too, so I like to think I've broken the cycle of emotional abuse I experienced with my mother.

That is all for now I think

[gypsylee]

AHAHAAHAH HAHAHAA HEHEHEEEEE

https://youtu.be/DMDH4ll_vq4

https://youtu.be/KjmUEwlq8ok

[Dahila]

i hope soon they will open health care because it is fucking us all. I can not get fucken prescription cause my doctor does not make phone appointment. They advice me to go to hospital. With my diabetes, emphysema, I will not come back alive, eh

[Dahila]

https://londonreal.tv/digital-freedo...ashid-buttar/#

[gypsylee]

2am and the woman next door is playing loud music for about the 4th time lately. This is after she whinged about me walking around wearing ugg boots and the fact my bathroom light shines through her windows! I just went outside and saw the guy across from her on his decking, so I had a word to him. I'm also going to go talk to the rental guy. She reckons she's leaving in a couple of weeks because this place is so horrible. She better be. I might be a non-conformist but I was raised to be considerate of other people. I really hate people with no manners and this woman is very rude.. Very very rude!! I'm now plotting her demise.

https://youtu.be/KO82LtlUTIo

[gypsylee]

I just woke up from a dream.. I was in my childhood home and it was full of people (some of which I knew) who were absolutely out of control and psychotic. I was trying to leave but they kept stopping me. Some were even jumping on me and I was physically fighting them and trying to throw them off me. Others were screeching and yelling. It was horrible. The whole reason we were all there was that my MOTHER had gone insane.

[gypsylee]

i hope soon they will open health care because it is fucking us all. I can not get fucken prescription cause my doctor does not make phone appointment. They advice me to go to hospital. With my diabetes, emphysema, I will not come back alive, eh

Dahila.. I hope you can stay safe at home.

[Dahila]

I stay at home but go everyday on my bike or walking ) no body is able to lock me in house. We need son and fresh air so our immune system is working correctly. Not only food but a lot of other things. I am meditation trying to calm myself down

[gypsylee]

I stay at home but go everyday on my bike or walking ) no body is able to lock me in house. We need son and fresh air so our immune system is working correctly. Not only food but a lot of other things. I am meditation trying to calm myself down

That's good. We are about to get coldest weather in 60 years! Are no doctors doing phone consultations or just yours? I can understand if you don't want to find a new one. I was so glad to talk to my old doctor because he understands my problems, which are a combination of physical and mental, and a lot of them just don't get it.

I need to find a dentist to pull this tooth out (apparently they are doing emergency work). Antibiotics and painkillers have helped but sometimes when I eat it flares up and hurts like all hell. I'm not that scared of dentists - I've been that many times - but I want a private one. I've had a lot done in the public system and a lot of the dentists are pretty crap. Problem is $$$ of course. Unlike private doctors, dentists aren't subsidised by the government at all. So an extraction (which is one of the cheapest procedures) is around $200. Could be more now. A lot of Aussies on low incomes can't even go to the public dentist and can't afford private. So they just suffer.

[gypsylee]

https://youtu.be/edTgjbN6rYE

For seven years I dwelt
In the loose palace of exile
Playing strange games
With the girls of the island
Now I have come again
To the land of the fair, & the strong, & the wise

Brothers and sisters of the pale forest
Children of Night
Who among you will run with the hunt?

Now Night arrives with her purple legion
Retire now to your tents & to your dreams
Tomorrow we enter the town of my birth
I want to be ready

--Jim Morrison, The Palace of Exile (Celebration of the Lizard)