Unless you're quitting something that's self-destructive and addictive.

I'm sure we're all guilty of pursuing certain addictions. During times of introspection I ask myself how long will I continue down this road? Realistically I've been living with numerous addictions for a large portion of my life: junk food, pornography, alcohol, video games and cannabis. I find myself to follow an "all or nothing" approach in life and it does me a grave disservice.

We all know that exercise and health eating helps the mind and body. Not eating processed junk should be a lifestyle we all pursue - and yet the unhealthiest foods seem to be the one's we crave the most. The dopamine released from eating an apple compared to a slice of cake is like comparing night and day.

I'd like to pack it all in truth be told. There's no merit or enjoyment in these addictions I've recklessly allowed to continue for so many years. The burden on my mental and physical health slowly becomes ever more apparent as I continue down this road of wanton self-destruction. As tolerances build, the mind and body requires more and more until you reach a point of unsustainability.

I feel burnt out every single day, often simply through the act of waking up in my bed and realising it's another day of being me. Working this office job I have no passion for, relying on a couple of beers or a smoke to take the edge off at the end of the day. Finally, ending the day with the seemingly ritualistic and deplorable search for pornography.

This doesn't really feel like a life that I hold in any form of high regard. I'm utterly exhausted - and I think it would be best to stop pursuing all of these destructive distractions. Truth be told, anxiety has been excessive these past 24 hours. Whilst it's not exactly a prolonged panic attack, I'm holding onto so many overbearing worries and fears that I've felt sick to my stomach for the best part of a day.

Whilst being too hard on yourself often isn't a constructive mindset to hold - I am utterly disgusted with how I've lived my life through excess this past decade.

Ed