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  1. #1
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    Should you tell your therapist "everything" ?

    I've been struggling with this and don't know what to do.. or if I'm doing the right thing by not revealing some things/everything and every facet of my personality.

    There is a *whole lot* more that I've never revealed, I mean nothing too horrid, but some things I'm just not comfortable ever revealing about myself, however I feel the things I feel I 'cant' say are an important part of what causes my depression and anxiety. The real me might better describe what troubles me. While I have well documented disorders, there are things that I keep secret and try my hardest to hide for fear that I would be deemed incompetent and non functional. I'm hardly functional in this state, but I get by somehow, it gets pretty scary sometimes and my dark moments are dark. I feel - in fact - I know there is no "cure" even if they knew everything and all they can do is add even more medication that I'm not interested in. If I look far back at my childhood and I can see/understand where things started and why they grew into this beast that I now have on my shoulders. Sometimes I want to 'come clean' with everything and I knew other people that have done this and some regretted it and wished they could take it back. I'm not trying to say I'm one a sick pup but I have deep seeded issue that I try to bury and disguise. My family history was filled with nothing but well kept secrets so it sort of rubbed off on me and it stuck.

    For those in therapy, do you tell them everything or do you remain guarded.

    Thanks in advance and sorry about multiple edits but I'm struggling with this one a bit more that expected.
    Last edited by salvator here; 12-21-2018 at 06:38 PM.

  2. #2
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    I will say, I've seen a neuropsychiatrist and had 2 profile tests (basically those long tests where you tick off the boxes to various questions) and they both came back inconclusive. I answered them as truthfully and honestly as I know how and some questions were very personal.

    I honestly just don't know what I'm even expecting for help anymore, basically it seems just pills are it now. I'm well into my 40's and set in my ways and they know this. I mean, the real me is still somewhat child-like and naive for a man my age, but given my upbringing this is no surprise to me, its expected and part of the reasons as an adult I feel stunted.

    Maybe acceptance is what eludes me.

  3. #3
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    Actually.. never mind.

    I think I should just work on accepting the good and bad parts of myself by now. I'll take this mind to the grave anyway.

  4. #4
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    Thank you. Yeah, I find writing even more helpful that therapy. As I said, though, maybe I'm not being as forthcoming with my therapist as I should, but I'm not sure it would change the outcome.

  5. #5
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    For instance: I would be very hard-pressed to ever want to reveal, that I, in fact...DO howl at a full moon. Kidding, or am I!?

  6. #6
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    Sometimes if I don't look too close at people and just go with the feeling I get back from them, my gut instinct is correct, in that.. I'm meant to 'pick up' the energy from that person unfiltered by me (or them), there is no such thing as positive energy in my opinion, only people can chose to put aside their own issues to portray something they choosing (maybe neutral energy), I also can pick up this. However, if I look closely at (in and through) their eyes (something I rarely do ever) I see myself and my own struggles like a mirror. Its exhausting and partly why I hide away from people. I get suspicious of people that seem overly bubbly and positive though with their demeanor; Witty is ok as its a defense mechanism.

    I am very bad at disguising my emotions/feelings. I feel like an raw nerve and thus a walking target.

    How could I every tell a therapist that without coming across like a nut.. to which I might have to agree.
    Last edited by salvator here; 01-05-2019 at 03:59 PM.

  7. #7
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    I'm Not expecting any answers, I'll leave this world with many unresolved issues, this I'm certain and I doubt I would tell anybody in real life that. Oh well. Just how it is for me. There was a time I was oblivious myself. I never mastered social interaction 101 anyway, but I threw myself out there more is all I guess.
    Last edited by salvator here; 01-05-2019 at 04:43 PM.

  8. #8
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    Above - Possibly Triggering

    Just needed to get that out I guess.

    EDIT: I just edited to warn that my thread could be triggering to others.
    Last edited by salvator here; 01-05-2019 at 09:05 PM.

  9. #9
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    I have been seeing a therapist every year aprox once every 6 weeks since 2012. I consider it part of my medication. Given my perception on the system and how it seeks to control through a number of clinical measures (re my most recent threads) - it's an irony of sorts.

    The thing is Sal ... I make my therapy sessions work because for the most part I take control. That mostly works because before I 'dig in' with a therapist I ensure that I have their full respect and attention.

    Do you have that with your therapist? Do you fully trust them?
    "...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/

  10. #10
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    No I don't have any of those things (their respect - their attention - nor do I trust them). Because I can't pay, it's more like fast food line and everyone waiting for 1 french fry, then "next". That is how it feels to me and appears. Just dreads of society we are viewed as and they are boss dangling medication as bait.

    Given those circumstances, I think best to remains guarded then and I'm doing the right things, I think.

    Been slightly disassociating to the point that I don't even recognize my surroundings at times. No personality and others have said I have flat blank affect. At times speaking to others has been a chore I have to work at and fail miserably (stuttering and hesitation). Can't trust myself, I guess. Maybe just survival of the fittest and where I stand, I feel.

    Since the calendar turned over this year, I've felt pretty much like a lifeless corpse.
    Last edited by salvator here; 01-08-2019 at 08:09 PM.

 

 

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