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  1. #201
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    Hope your still doing Ok Sal? Thinking of you guys.
    http://mymeds.atwebpages.com/

  2. #202
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    Only using my phone now D:



    See how long I can go doing that. I"ll still post, but will be more mobile and probably more outdoors.
    http://mymeds.atwebpages.com/

  3. #203
    Thanks Dahila and Ponder.. thinking of you too. Good to hear you're getting out of the house more, it will help I think.
    Last edited by salvator here; 01-20-2019 at 10:27 PM.

  4. #204
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    Thx Sal. Good to hear form you again & glad your still breathing. lol. hehe ... get's like that for us, does it not? Rhetorical. All good.

    This morning I am heading back onto the tread mill. It's no easy task as now I go back the chubby fat beginner where once before I was magazine materiel. Such is the nature of my mental illness. Sigh. Perhaps this time not so straight forward as I'm still toting about a small tumor like lump and sore in the neck and shoulders. I have really been hard on myself with lifestyle and food + taking meds which is quite depressing for me.

    I will also admit the NDIS / National Disability Insurance Scheme is sending my over the edge. I keep saying I will write about this or that but then get side track. Last it was going to be about a romance that took place between myself and a social worker. Pedro reminded me of that. In the off chance your reading Pedro ... " Hi ... hope your doing OK or good enough!"

    The romance story probably more engaging than me going over the edge with my take on NDIS. Yet the latter is in need of addressing if I am to make the most out of said services.

    For now I make my grand entrance back into the gym. LOL ... just kidding. I now embark on the humility of starting from scratch (yet again) doing what I do best. Comebacks!

    Had to give the PT the flick ... yet another story. LOL ... I should stick to fiction. Real life can be a bitch.

    Catch up soon enough. Take care.
    http://mymeds.atwebpages.com/

  5. #205
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    1. Back from the gym ... I let someone in who was waiting outside. He took up a position along side me in a line of treadmills doing his own thing. later a PT turned up asking him how he got in. I immediately piped up saying "it was I truly, " I went on to explain that I normally don't let people in, but that he looked OK to me. I care less if I am breached. I only wish I had the space for my own treadmill. If I did, I would purchase a cheap one from eBay, run it into the ground and then throw it on the heap like we do with everything else. Such is how our well equipped litter their junk in low earth orbit. Why should I be any different? I say let's pull ourselves over the edge all the more quicker.


    Interesting perspective. Suits my condition of extremes quite well. Fuck It ... I'm purging to be sure, yet the truth oozes no less. How we deal with it ... well ... lets pile up the garbage all the more quicker so the problem can't be ignored. Pacification hides what needs dealing with, so the core always goes unaddressed. No one wants to see or talk about it. The NDIS is good creating J-O-B-s but fucked at dealing with individuals. Boo fucking Hoo ... that's all the time I have for that. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

    Sigh ... that feels good. Need to do more of that.

    Yea yea ...

    Off for the MRI this morning. I hope its either an lump that when removed eases a nerve or two, otherwise an aggressive form of cancer. Fuck this deception balancing things in between. All that BS on respectfully challenging each other only then telling us to sit in our discomfort. Beam up me thor ... fuck this existence.

    WTFE - Purge purge and purge.
    http://mymeds.atwebpages.com/

  6. #206
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    When in doubt:

    Go fly a kite!
    http://mymeds.atwebpages.com/

  7. #207
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    Think I found new Hobby:

    http://mymeds.atwebpages.com/

  8. #208
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    Here's a little something I threw together that I think sums up my current potion very well:



    Its a cover pic for an intended discussion on the negative affects of the industrialization of human services regarding Australia's National Disability Insurance Scheme. More so my experiences with NDIS coordination, Capacity Assessment and so on. I am getting mixed messages where the whole process really is sending me and others over the edge. Many people complaining to their peers how they are now overwhelmed with too many appointments and services.

    I actually had a good system going myself before new welfare reforms completely changed the landscape of mental health services with the introduction of NDIS. The mentoring and Personal helpers program I was on (PHaMs) via the local employment agencies was one of many services that has since made way. Gradually like wise mental health services have also given way by renaming and changing their accessibility. Clients who were once being serviced have been weened off and eventually left without appropriate supports. Of course service providers will reason that newly established programs will be put in place to buffer those in between.

    I'm not a service provider. I am a client who has been in the welfare system most of his life. I saw this welfare reform coming when service providers told me "Nothing Changes" I am hear to tell you this is far from the truth. Everything has changed. The way in which people are treated being at the top of that list. The industrialization of human services is what comes to mind here. My experience can outline a once welcoming mental health community that relocated into a white walled mental health facility. Adding to this dynamic is the NDIS focus on Job creation over Individual Needs. This is resulting in mental health patients now being overwhelmed with many services that care less about clients relations. Service providers seem more intent on the number of packages and their own capacity.

    I am getting mixed messages. I rang the NDIS and asked in person regarding this talk of " Use it or lose it!" I expressed my concern that I did not want to be overwhelmed with what I regard as a negative practice. I talked about how this outlook would push people into taking on, too much too soon. To this point I only needed a few services to keep me going and the whilst the possibility to utilize more appropriate services would indeed help, I was worried about the impressions and talk coming from various service workers such as "Use it or lose it ..." I don't like being pressured like so. Many of us affected types crumble under such pressure. It's not an excuse but rather a certified fact.

    At that point, The NDIS person over the phone assured me my ongoing assessments and approved plans would not be based solely on the amount of money spent. I don't recall the exact words but lets just say I felt we both agreed ongoing assistance would be based on appropriate needs as warranted via, doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, and like wise stability reports. However after meeting with an NDIS OT ... Capacity Assessor, I once more heard the chant of "Use it or lose it..." I also heard something about dismissing my psychologist, however this I allowed to go over my head; for now. I have a very healthy respect of my therapist and if the system will not work with her, then there is no way in hell I will remain stable.

    So you see ... I am hearing to very different things with regard to the "Use it or lose it ..." talk. There should always be room to expand, however one should not be pressured to take on more than what one needs. So far I have not seen any flexibility on offer in this regard. No assurance of being able to add to a plan regardless on not spending up big in the beginning, but more a kind of imposing threat ... Use it or lose it? It's no wonder many individuals are crumbling under the pressure of so many meetings, sessions, visits and leading into expectations regardless of a service providers point of view. Generally those pushing the services have no understanding of the systemic pressures mentally affected individuals have been subject too over the years.

    For me it has been very much a case of the welfare processes negatively impacting more than the actual certified labels. As entitled in the image, it is very much a case of the process itself pushing people of the edge. In this case of NDIS taking over mental health services, this is very much the case yet again.

    I have not even touched on how Job Creation dictates over the needs of the individual. I challenge any service provider in whatever role to explain it otherwise. For now I leave this as is ... It's once again very late and I am not getting any sleep. This being my process of going over the edge. These welfare reforms and changing landscape have derailed me completely.

    Other factors are being offered more psychotherapy, however my long standing therapist implies to me she has not been able to go through the red tape ... Dead End! So you see ... more conflicts.

    The irony ... is according to the prerequisites on gov websites ... to be receiving help, one must already be supported and stabilized. I could inadvertently find myself with no support as a result of falling over the edge regardless of the long battle to of been accepted. That battle - the required effort in itself being just one more part of the system that whittles an individual down into nothing more than an object to consumed.

    Thus ... I present to you the Industrialization of Human Services.

    Regards
    Consumer being consumed.
    Last edited by Ponder; 01-22-2019 at 12:01 PM.

  9. #209
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    My Current State of Mind:



    Believe it or not ... I am trying. It's been like that for at least the last 8 weeks. I tend to clean some up, but then more piles up. It's been a losing battle for some time now which brings to mind some of the proposed services. It's hard to be open and honest about such things. Let this be my own assessment to which I know more than a few peers I know can relate. I do not enjoy living like this. What gives? Keeping up with the system. For now I try to polish above post as I have now linked it to a few people in more control, who may benefit by taking the time to read. It matters little if my point of view is not in line with others. What matters is that some of us need to be heard.

    At the very least, this writing process enabling me to stretch as I must.

  10. #210
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    Saw the GP today about rolling over my mental health plan. 7 years running now ... or since 2012 ... I guess that 6 going on 7. Good timing all things considered. That said I am completed exhausted now. I almost managed to polish my initial thread. Here is that attempt:
    https://ndistheprocesspushingpeopleo...wordpress.com/

    I spoke to the doc today about meds. That was a very interesting discussion. The K10 form this time revealed much as the doctor and I are now connecting much better. She does not want to rush my decision as she know well my desire to remain medication free. This is a good sign of respect. Things are looking up regarding my bias. I explained this fact with her today and I could tell she was pleased. I would really love to share that story ... but like I say ... I have literally not slept in two days. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Adios until next post.

    PS - was good to have a friend come with me and also got a call from another. Both being from the mental health facility that I can no longer attend. I am happy with myself that I have thus far been able to retain these friendships. I do however miss not being able to see the some of the others that I also got along with. It is what it is. None the less, kudos for still having friends.
    Last edited by Ponder; 01-23-2019 at 03:34 AM.

 

 

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