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  1. #151
    Senior Member
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    Oct 2013
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    Australia
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    5,771
    All good man ... Would like to hear your thoughts if and when you do get time. Understand if it's not of the cards though ... totally. Stuff happens hey. all the time

    I got outside for first time in a whiles as well ... walking by myself that is. I really need to start that all over again. Have PT in the morning.

    I hope the rest helped D? Thinking of you guys.

    Be well as can be.

    Night Night ... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    5:30 am wake up and still late nights ... oh well. Getting there half way I guess.
    http://mymeds.atwebpages.com/

  2. #152
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    5,937
    thank you P. yes I was so good today that went downstairs and made two logs (36) of soap , activated charcoal one with water replaced by Aloe vera juice, , I am happy I moved my lazy body and had done something instead of complaining. Thank you guys for listening my whining self and not kicking my rear end
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  3. #153
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
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    5,771
    Your welcome D. We 3 nearly got on the commiseration wagon which is something I try to avoid. I don't mind reflecting and even dumping ... but I know dumping for too long a period such is dangerous. It feeds compulsive thinking. Thankfully for me I am about exhausted with all my negative mind states. At least for now. Chuckles at that statement. I seem to have some kind of valve that leads back into empty space where I generally pick up again. Most people think I'm just stupidly looking into space or having an elderly moment ... I actually relish the peace I find in between mind states when that happens.

    I listened to the following whilst out walking today. I love how he jokes about humans and how the planet might be going about it's the business of turning the heat up to push us out like a virus does in the human body. hehehe. Here is a time link to just that part, however I recommend using headphones and given this a listen if your interested in finding space from a racing mind.

    Humans and How The Planet Might Get Rid of Us. Very Funny:
    For you D → Time Stamp → Link.

    Click on the link above D and give it a couple of minutes. I know you will enjoy it very much. It's why I am linking it. I immediately thought of our human extinction discussions. More so how we wish for it to happen for the planets sake. As for the video itself and the topic of freeing the mind for at least a whiles in order to find some sense of sanity ... I link the video below in it's entirety.

    http://mymeds.atwebpages.com/

  4. #154
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    5,937
    He is wonderful, incredible I am back to my old self at least I am kind of calm now
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  5. #155
    Thanks Dahila and Ponder, I'm grateful you were there with me during the rough times.

    Will watch that vid later after I eat and settle down.

    I also feel sort of back to normal again and the panic has leveled off on its own so it seems today. New year and feel like things are fresh, I think.

  6. #156
    I've never seen a waterfall in real life like that, maybe someday I should, they're very soothing.

    EDIT: I just clicked on the link and where he speaks of modern culture being imbalanced, for some reason I almost posted today about something similar. Being this, I feel the tension between with society's 'do as I say, not as I do' and sometimes I can use my own brain to reason it out, other times I fall for it and feel stupid afterwards. Traditional holidays are a good example of that, we fall for the hype of what we're told to (how to) feel and how things should be. that word "Normal" comes to mind again. Even I fall for it when I know differently and don't see things as others do anyway and I realize that. I beat myself up well before anybody else gets a chance most times. Things I thought I accepted and came to terms with. Like a stained glass window maybe, have to look beyond it to see its not as it seems. Hard to describe. Sorry about that.

    2nd EDIT: very helpful, I hope I get there. 46 and I think I should be there by now. Maybe unrealistic given my personal circumstance. I think baby steps and 1 step forward 2 steps back is how it seems. However, sometimes rarely 10 steps forward and I learn a whole lot in a short period of time in chunks.
    Last edited by salvator here; 01-02-2019 at 06:55 PM. Reason: correcting typos

  7. #157
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
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    5,771
    You said it well enough for me. Thanks for the read Sal. We'll be oK for 2019. Keep posting.

    Just focus on what works for you. We can walk in any direction we wish.
    ------

    Bit late for me and busy day tommorow. Long drive to airport. Daughter arriving back from Manchester UK. Looking forward to hearing about her trip.

    Both my parents come from the UK. I would like to visit myself ... but would rather keep that kind of money for a new computer instead. reading about it is good enough.

    Night night. Zzzzzzz
    http://mymeds.atwebpages.com/

  8. #158
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
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    5,771
    Long drive back home. I wish I could help out more with the driving, but still have neck and shoulder pain. We also missed turns and ended up being billed two expensive toll fees we needed not pay. One of the relatives is turning into a drunk and a pain to tolerate.

    I think I go for a small walk, have a little to eat and then pack the car and get the hell out of Dodge.
    http://mymeds.atwebpages.com/

  9. #159
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    5,771
    I dislike how they continually push to have me stay until lunch before leaving. Especially when I am not well.

    It's always about the food with this bunch. All the more reason for me to get moving. Lol.

    They just make me feel more uncomfortable when they can,t respect my preference to hit the road in the morning rather than after lunch.

    I'm in pain and it's a 4 hour drive for fucks sake. Grrrrr ... best to go sooner than later. Does not that make sense? I hate guilt trippers. I get up and smile and tell them I'll stay for breakfast.

    Lmfao. Hehe. What the fuck ever. We were just here at Xmas. We really need to start paying for a hotel because it's not worth the song & dance on the day we need to go home.

    Srry for the bitchn. I now get up and pretend.

    Catch up back in here ... soon enough.
    http://mymeds.atwebpages.com/

  10. #160
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    5,937
    you have no idea how well I understand it. I want everything to end quickly too even when not in pain, 4 hours sitting in car would be too much for my spine, I would be sick, literally sick. I hope you will get peace and quiet soon
    We need to be alone in silence
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

 

 

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