I figured I best follow through on my intention to start a new journal again; having mentioned it to a friend. I figured it was me dragging the forum down but it's been a couple of months now and after quietly lurking on the side, I can see if anything ... traffic has dropped off even more. Not to worry though ... is no big deal for me or anyone else that want's to lurk on the side. Lurking is AOK in my book. Pressuring people to integrate can be real draining at times. When my methods for stability kick in, interacting comes more naturally. In that regard I have missed this space.

I hope you get time to pop in like old times D ... if not ... no worries. Some of the old gang might pop back in to see if I am still alive and then we always get those few peeps that take a chance with saying hi. Always good to make new online friends.

So what's the news my end???? I'm still rather unwell, but sick of feeling sick. The news is up and down, but I will try to weigh more on the desire for wellness. My derailing can 100% be attributed to all that investigations into past abuse re compensation. The good news there is that I have finally got all the paper work and the associated documents read to post. Just waiting on one last bit of mail to come in. The latter is actually good news. After much deliberation and an ongoing review, I have finally been accepted on the National Disability Insurance Scheme. Otherwise known as NDIS in Australia where I live. I was already on a disability pension due to my mental illness's, but now this new system opens doors in other areas. I won't go into detail on it just yet ... as I have a planner meeting to go to and you never know how these things pan out as the benefits can often be swayed depending on the people that cross the desk. It's still a very new system as far as mental health goes and full of as many holes as there are opportunities. Basically the context of NDIS to the National Redress Scheme on past abuse is more to do with impact as relates to me. Whilst a few lose ends ... thanks to the help of my long standing therapist, wife and other community supports I no longer have ... I think I can focus a little on getting back to doing what works for me.

I still have one complaint left that's been going for months now ... re a manager of one of the mental health facilities I was attending. The too is nearing its end. BUT ... there will always be something. So having accepted that .. I am now doing my best to get back into a routine.

I've put on a tone of weight ... but that's OK. I intend to do something about it, but not going to bear myself up. I have renewed my gym membership. I just need to start using it once more is all. I am battling on the treadmill is all. The social phobia is back in full swing, despite my attempts. Alas the treadmill offers me a focal point facing a wall with my back turned away from others. I like it that way. I can just focus on my walk, jog, walk and jog. I then get off and that's my work out done. I really am back at square one, yet I feel good for having just got up out of bed, getting dressed and making my way to the gym regardless if I just do 10 minutes on the treadmill.

I think that pretty much sums up where I am at.

Take care folks.

Adios ... until next post.

I'm still enjoying my gaming distractions. Currently in the early stages of a huge Cities: Skylines Tutorial. 65 vids longs. I'm only into video 5. I'm in no rush ...