Time To Get Back Up Again

[Ponder]

My pair of Active noise cancellation ear buds arrived today. Apparently they are not as good as the headphone variety, but the one's I chose are the best you ear phone ANC buds you can get. I was pretty amazed trying them on at home and then out side my front door, but today I will test them in a mall situation. As far as I can tell they do not eradicate high pitch sound, but it did lesson the volume of my TV when tested in my living room.

It's interesting that whilst I can't really make out the words of people when they are not speaking clearly or not directly at me and or me being partially tone deaf ... that I seek not to hear anything. On that note a friend of mine questioned me on how my tinnitus would fair using active noise cancellation. The best I can say regarding tinnitus ... is how I don't regard my tinnitus as intrusive ... at least not anymore. Intrusive being the key word to noise pollution in general and whilst the affect of that is very often responsible for tinnitus itself, having some influence over the intrusive nature and impact of unwanted noise give me a sense of control. This control factor being important when thinking in terms of how noise pollution affect anxiety.

Yes with the noise in my head drastically reduced, my tinnitus is more predominant. The main point I just tried to make above is that I can live with that ... I can actually influence that myself in other areas and the ability to hear my tinnitus is actually important to me, as trying to mask that leads to more health problems in much the same way many of us mask our emotions with food. Alas - whilst I would love to delve into the insights of living with tinnitus ... I need to get up and off this thing (which in itself is another project of late to keep moving and not be sitting for too long) and go do a hard core public test.

[Ponder]

Exscuse the typos. Now sitting in a busy mall nearing lunch time. It's incredible the difference these ANC ear buds make. First things first.

Walking into the mall is not somthing I enjoy doing. It's loud enough drivin in traffic just getting here. Getting out of the car nd making my way inoto the mall also not my favourite outing. But generally speaking, walking through the main doors into the mall is where those of us sensitive enough become overwhealmed. As well as noticing it in myself I also notice it in others. Many of us will walk faster than we would otherwise do. If only in an attempt to get in and get out. It's in that state that where anxiety builds.

Not sure if your reading Sal ... but this is one exmple of graduated exposure I am choosing to do. Big difference when we choose to do it. Long story short ... this trip knowing I am doing a test has me being a lot more mindful abut the triggers and how I nd others react. It all comes down to eneergy would you not agree?

OK - I can see having brought along this roll out keybord might have me sitting here longer than Iotherwise planed. That combined with the fact that the reduced volume in noise pollution has seriously been reduced. I do hve Youtube playing some relaxtion ambiance in the background, but no where near as loud as I would normally do. It's like near peak hour with noise conditions yet mybility to sit here without caring who sees me with alll my gear laid out across the table typing attentively into my phone. My ability to focus is quite suprising. I still flinch a little with people passing into my paripherial and will never lik croweded spaces. Although sound playing a huge impact into the equation of engery, so to is vision and the body language people project doing whatever it is they are doing ... even when people are thinking they project as they do. However that's nother story. Now I would seem to be going deep in my head.

Like I was saying before I can still hear the higher pitch sonds, but the volume decrease is seroiusly amaing when in busy public spaces. No longer having to turn up my volume will now allow me to work more with my tinitus. Nowhere near as much masking will be reuired. I can't wait to see how much these buds can reduce the noise pollution of varioius neighbours when filling the street with thier favoiurite play lists. Thankfully has been a non issue since I called the police as many time a they played.

Righto. Now that a large group have pulled up right next to my table - that's enough for me to call this wall of text quits. Although challenging, I kind o enjoyed this.

Untill next test ... I think that will be catching the bus tommorow. See what happens. Not going to pressure myself.

Later ...

[Ponder]

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz The quest for stillness. I know many of you may not be interested ... but thought the following was a good find. Especially on the topic of why stillness is so important to me and how it is that I struggle with the unnatural way in which we all now find ourselves living:



ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Good night guys. Thinking of you all and hope this finds you well.

[Dahila]

jeez you are really brave to go to mall, I was in the mall probably 3 years ago. When I was still buying gifts for my grandchild birthday, with her presence of course. I am exhausted while I do grocery shopping. Tinnitus, can not take it all the time, my hearing aids are Semens digital and really good at level of volume, anyway i do have 4 programs and volume control on them. I have no problem on Market (it is huge) when I put on conversation. My tinnitus is like gong , very loud one the other kind is ok , I try not to put attention on it, It is a result of poor diet and what the most important Aging. No one is escaping it,
My HA are masking it perfectly

[Ponder]

Morning D. Hope the Markets have been yielding joy - Or - better yet ... leaving you feel content. Glad your Hearing Aids are doing the trick for you. My government issue ones tend to make my hearing issues worse. Only sometimes I find them effective but ironically, mine only return good results when using in quiet areas. GONG!!!!!! I don't envy that D. I stand my claim that it's best to make friends with our ailments and do what we can for them.

My Tinnitus sounds more like crickets. The following seems to emulate my tinnitus to good effect. If you take away the ping therapy and just think crickets ... then you can pretty much hear my form of tinnitus:

I had to turn up the volume to hear crickets (Not the pinging) ... or drown the ones out already in my head. I really don't mind them ... I am yet to comment on the effectiveness of this therapy. Like most external things I find them short lived.


It was when first taking antidepressants that my tinnitus became evident. Unfortunately that was all that form of medication gave me. Your right though D. In the end everyone will experience tinnitus to some degree. I beleive tinnitus is primarily a symptom related to our neurological condition than it is a condition itself. This kind of explains how many medications can trigger the symptom of tinnitus; make us more sensitive to it. Of course if the medication improves your life in other areas then I guess it's a question of variables. I always find it amusing though how many of medications list suicide as a side effect. Go figure. To be sure they have there place ... I much prefer antibiotic and being is a state where I don't need them.

Other factors that trigger tinnitus to varying degrees are, stress, stiff joints, diets, inflammation, sound, anxiety, exercise, thinking, and much much more. In fact when you consider how tinnitus is spawn or comes to be, it's not so hard to see how we are all born with it. It just comes down to how we tune into it. Learning to live with it when it becomes problematic is a great lesson in life. Sadly for some people the tinnitus has lead them to suicide. Yet for others, it has opened a door to better a lifestyle. After having posted more on tinnitus, I smile to think of just how loud mine now is.

All good ... I am off to the gym. Some of the things that can heighten the symptom can also help to alleviate the various conditions which are known to turn trigger the crickets that reside in my head. Is all about balance.

[Dahila]

crickets, lol mine is the fridge and in mean time gongs, Sure you get to know how not to put attention on it. A lot of antibiotics will make it worse a lot of any other meds too. Gaining weight makes it worse, losing it makes it worse , you name it, It is a part of my life and I have to make peace with it, like I make peace with other limitations i have.
I had not finished about going to mall, Right now my little one (toler than I am, she is 13) and she makes it easy on me, she wants money. is this the easiest way? I like the idea too. easy peasy .
I hope you ok with "home family lovely invasion" Is you baby girl better?

[Ponder]

All good points D. I see it the same. Is good to have company, especially the grand kids. : ) Things are still adjusting this end but I am sure we will make it. It's not gong to be easy with outside forces looking in.

Today I successfully went into town and back again on the bus. I am yet to do it on my own, but a long way off doing that. I am content to keep practicing with my friend. The noise canceling ear buds worked excellently.

[Ponder]

I decided to delete my posts. Seems to be enough drama on the subject without me adding to it. I just needed to vent but really don't want to add to it. Time to go back to playing non violent video games.

[salvator here]

Hi Ponder my friend, I think you made a good call to delete them though; honestly.

There are a lot of bad people out there and sometimes I think that fact that I keep to myself and am isolated from society is a blessing rather than the curse. Sometimes I fear going outside and its not always without good merit, I watch people and overhear things that make me glad to be a loner. Sure I'm overly paranoid but I overhear things that remind me that I could become a target for somebody's hate and bigoted behavior. I tend to stay quiet in public and remain sort of unassuming.

I agree those old classic video games sound good right about now and the love and support form you and Dahila feels unconditional. I should even avoid triggering news given that I'm not in a good place mentally. Hate to shelter myself but I'm in no condition to handle it without it pushing me deeper down from an already fragile state.

I hope you are doing ok.

EDIT: I actually decided to delete part of my post as well.

[Ponder]

I hear ya Sal. Thanks for hearing me.

I'm off for a bike ride. Nothing too serious. Wish me luck as I get the feeling I might get caught out. I took the following images and stitched them together just before leaving:


I'll share a bit of the outdoors with ya Sal. See if I can whether the storm for both of us hey.

Thanks for your reply. It's helped me heaps. Remember how I used to say just focus on what works. I try to go back to that philosophy.

Adios until next post.