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  1. #231
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    Do you ever find yourself thinking how memories that were once so vivid and alive are now seemingly dull and fading? I often wonder how much that is due to PTSD verses the fact we now live in a world with trillions of bright lights, fancy images and Hollywood gloss. It's easy to label ourselves in a world that thrives on diagnosis. I sincerely beleive my lack of desire to live in this world is 'more' resultant from the way in which the world functions; than it is to do with impact of long term mental illness. To be sure both go hand in hand. All I am saying is one come's before the other.

    I swore I would never have kids again. Watching my grandson start going through the system is grueling to say the least. I think this is one of many reasons why of late I am loosing sleep.

  2. #232
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    Oh Ponder you made me blush, I eat few kinds of apples, Ambrosia, Fuji, Honeycrisp, it would be all. I need hard apple but sweet, Nothing made me happier than checking that apple does not spike me, Today I came from market and my bg was very low even with two slices of bread I had, Tomorrow I will get more test strips and check for my bread, It is more on the rye side than regular flour, Let's check how much jump it causes. This way I can actually check which foods make me sick and which do not. I keep my fingers crossed about tomato but will check it when I have mine so around end of July. I do not eat the ones from stores, I have no stomach for that s***t.
    My apple is not only major source of insoluble fiber, but also my treat, The only sugar I eat
    BTW apples of our youth are gone, they will not be back, Old kinds of apples do not grow so well in polluted environment
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  3. #233
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    Well whatever your doing keep doing it because clearly it's working for you. I have been struggling energy wise very much for quite some time now. Whilst food can be liken to medicine and plays a most pivotal role in our health, it is only one of many other aspects that I let slip. The sun has not long been up. I should go work on another aspect such as getting outside for a bit.

    Sadly my daughter has switched back to tap water. That said, I guess we are lucky compared to other countries where they are drinking stagnated water.

    I only eat Roma tomatoes as I find the other ones too acidic for me. There are many claims about tomatoes being unhealthy, however the same can be said for galric and onion ... where does it end? I just go by what my body tells me, although that concept does not work when your out of sync. First things first ... meaning, I need to get a hold of my weight yet again ... then I can subscribe to listening to my body as antidote to those toxic marketing reports. Not all reports are agenda based, I find some have merit through my own experimentation. Many combinations of food do indeed hinder nutrient absorption and thus the common claims of health benefits to whatever foods are null and void. The latter more a thing that can only be detected when one's body is in check. Medications being one of many factors that mask such things ... not all ... but long term many do. So too obesity (like me now), lack of sleep, illness, stress, and so on.

    Food intolerance to and individuals physiologic make is another thing that many nutritionist simply do not get or take the time to adequately investigate when drawing up plans. I've been bake on wheat and grains which is causing my skin to itch like too much sugar can. This one is more easy to detect compared to nutrient absorption. More so for those of us with liver issues. Also many eczema sufferers; although not all. Sugar, Wheat and Some Processed Grains can cause me havoc when I do not keep them in check. Usually I do MUCH better when I cut them out completely. Many have a different take on that one, however many also make the same claims.

    First I work on other fronts and keep my portions in check. Right now I am back on Eggs and Toast. LOL ... Eggs are another thing that are not good for me if I have too many. Digestive wise they are not good for me. Still working on that. Eggs I have not ruled out completely, although It is one area of many that I do not want to support the industry. Best way to cripple an industry is to stop buying. More people should do it, however we live in a selfie world far removed from the truth. Perhaps I should get angry once more to help drive my next bout of self improvement.

    Perhaps might catch you on FB a bit later.
    Last edited by Ponder; 02-03-2019 at 12:54 PM.

  4. #234
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    When I think about food (very often) I feel the simplest is the best,
    I do not eat processed foods, however even chicken is processed food now with the things they eat, or rather are fed.
    Wow it happened again I went shopping and got the panic attack I was in panic mode for over 4 hours, Checked my sugar, good, checked my blood pressure ; good, So I am left with option of panic attack .
    Why the heck? No reason for that. I was driving and trying to calm myself down with breathing. Not nice at all
    You absolutely right about grains, When we were younger the wheat was not processed the same way as is now. No doubts people have problems with skin, You skin is the way you eat
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  5. #235
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    I will finish what is in the house, but buying no more or very little wheat and grain. It's as addictive as sugar is it not? Mostly empty calories too. It never leaves me feeling satisfied, in fact I always feel hungry whenever eating wheat and grain. ALWAYS ... I am also bloated all the time on that crap. bla bla bla ... lol ... hysterically so because I am now hanging out for a freshly baked wheat bun and some processed paddy with maybe a couple of leaves on the side. Pffft ... I really got to wake the %$#@ up!!!

    Yes ... I am what I eat, and lately I feel and look like shit.

    Good call D Now I am the one blushing. hehe ...

  6. #236
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    You know i am the one who believes in moderation, but there are small changes you can make, Bread bake your own but do use natural yeast : sourdough starter, so easy to make at home. It takes some time to bake it but not hard work just you have to keep an eye on it. You will eat half of portion and feel satisfied.
    I still eat some not much, once a week two small thin sasauges, no fillers; it means not flour, no sugar , and in to small ones is only one carbohydrates. Calories is the last thing when you try to quit wheat. Wheat is not sugar but the carbohydrates become sugar so fast and you body sends the insuline (the donkey) so it takes sugar and goes to every cell in our body, It is incredibly fast process , To lose weight you need something which slows it, I use healthy fats for it, into my bullet coffee, Fats or protein is converted into sugar too but much slower and almost all goes into cells to give you energy, The energy is mind blowing. The carbs from wheat products , it is so many of them that only some part goes to cells the rest is stored on our stomach as fat. Insuline is fat storage, not doubts about it, I think it is not what you eat, you do not have diabetes ? The important thing is to eat when you hungry (I am alwasy hungry) in small meals. My bullet proof coffee is my first meal at 6 am then around 12 I have a bowl of homemade soup.after two or three hours I do feel hunger so I eat, yesterday I cooked broccoli with butter it is delicious, Today I will have brussels sprouts and salad and probably two slices of bacon. Olives, Picles; home made pickles. I do not touch grains at all not starczy veggies, One apple a day, Yesterday I checked up again and not it does not higher my bg so it is so good.
    It is so good to be able to check it then you have better control. I am kind of losing my appetite, because of that, So far not changes in weight, Need to weight for better weather to start some physical activity
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  7. #237
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    Thanks for taking the time to write that up and share what works. No doubt that works for a lot of people as I have heard much of what you have said from different sources - discounting the agenda for marketing of course.

    Lisa also is a proponent of moderation. Here's the deal for me ... entirely my issue. My compulsive tendencies and when out of sync I really struggle with that one. I would only add on that front that regardless of small portions there are many tolerances/intolerance that my body struggles with over time. Caffeine being on top of that list as impacting on the central nervous system when only having one cup twice a week over 52 weeks of the year. In this case moderation only goes so far. I have experimented with wheat when eating clean ... I too am sensitive to it no matter how little I have when eating regularly so many times a week in small quantities. It's usually by the second month that I start to run into thrush like symptoms because I started introducing a couple of slices of toast per week. Both Lisa and I experimented with all the home made flours and making our own. Same thing happened ... over time.

    In this regard, some people are more sensitive than others. I mean not to counter for the sake of augment, but explain this point of view from my own experience and also in tune with other articles I have read. I only digest such text through my own experiences. Which is why when I eat and drink those kind of consumables, knowing full well what is ahead, I am like - "*&%# it!" and go all in.

    This being the point in which I should take a page out of your book re moderation. Yet like I say, intolerance is another part of the story that catches many out over time. It is the same when I eat eggs now. Some people subscribe to the news reports and those insightful morning TV shows that preach stuff like two eggs a day making you live till your 100. Two eggs a day and I end up in constipation before the second week. Usually at that end of the first. I'll put that down to physiology.

    Don't get me wrong D ... I full agree with what your saying. I'm just personalizing my own issues with food. Nothing more.

    I finish off by going from moderation, food intolerance (residual effect / long time use) to addiction. I'm supper sensitive to being triggered from an addiction point of view. This makes the residual effects of foods like caffeine and fast spiking carbs send me into full on binge. Some people that can handle only a little every now and then regardless of long term build up, will never understand how it is that some of us just cant stop or start off all responsible like, but later seen to be having several cups of coffee and bread rolls a day. The addiction trait being a legitimate chemical predisposition that's like doing hard core drugs ... more so the difficulty being similar when wanting to stop or ween oneself off. More over the problem with moderation is having anything at all. In this light, moderation for those with a strong additive gene are best to go cold turkey; of this is how I have come to find things when cleaning up my bad eating habits as I have come to know the pros and cons of foods as relates to me.

    At the end of the day I know what works and does not - for me. I really am a hard core addict. It's that simple really. It's why I would love to go small on a lot of things, but in my book a little of everything simply does not work for me. It's a very attractive mind set, but there are way too many triggers. I remember so many time when doing well, I just think ... hmmmm ... one coffee ... I'll be right. Sure enough the residual effect gets me in the end ... where I an then found binge drinking/eating.
    __________________________________________________ ______

    For me ... I must learn embrace the carrot and lettuce leaves. Only then can I truly appreciate what it feels like to not have a bloated gut with a spinning head full of caffeine. What can I say D - I am a head case to be sure. When it comes to food ... this is who I be. I must return to what works for me. Remember how I healed myself before? That's what worked for me. No bread, No coffee, Just whatever mix if fruits and veggies ... with all those other things that kept me above board. No diet, food claims or whatever ... all in all mostly water. I did it so well that I was doing well just walking.

    I am off to exercise now ... because I can in an air conditioned environment. That said, once I am not carrying blubber and actually at my prime weight, I can handle the heat a hell of a lot better. Right now I experience way more heat stress than need be because I have once again let myself get too fat. That's about the size of that.

    But whatever happens aforethought the experience of trying to find one's feet ... being kind to self is very important. Just don't be too kind ... as is what I did to myself. LOL You'll be right ... just have it twice a week. Sadly this does not work for me.





    Some time later when being kind to myself I end up like this ...


    I hope others out there can relate? Perhaps Sal you might understand in regards to your drinking? With me the addiction of like wise happy feelings overwhelm me and I lost control in many things. This is why I struggle with everything. Not to worry ... I have different ways that work for me. It's just that my way is typically backward from most ways others go about doing their thing.

    First and foremost when feeling suicidal and in a pit of despair is finding the will ... FINDING THE WILL to even be bothered trying to heal. This is where I am also at Sal. I go work on that now be heading back to the gym. I have more good reasons to go than not. It's easy to come up with not ... but much harder to name the ones that are good.

    Instead I just go.

    Back later maybe to discuss how I approach this issues where I have been drowning in my bed sheets of late. We discuss that - or I just explain it for whatever it is.

    You know the best thing to do is just take whatever steps you can take. Making that a routine that is my own is best for me. Lately I have been taking too much of others and in general too much of the world in ... even from this isolated seat. Only way to block that out is to get up and find something to do.

    We need to find something to do Sal .. no matter how small. Little things that make us get up off our asses and things that we enjoy doing. Is hard to find those things in today's world hey? The simpler they are the better I thinks.

    After this contact at the gym, I will no longer be taking out any more. I will instead keep it much more simpler and low key.

    Adios ... until next post.
    Last edited by Ponder; 02-04-2019 at 01:31 PM.

  8. #238
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    Oh you know that I am also fighting with addictive personality.
    You can not deprive your self of everything not at once. I eat what does not spike my blood glucose. that's all. when I think that one of most common of uncontrolled diabetes is losing the sight, It is terrible, Can imagine myself without reading the books? I can not.
    Ponder i thiink a lot of that foods we eat are not good due the pesticides and fertilization.
    The more you push yourself everytime is a step back. Be kind to yourself there is not enough kindness in the world
    I got bad news today and I am in grasp of a fear..............
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  9. #239
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    Yes that makes sense, I understand.

    Srry to hear that D.

    Edit ... Missed you by 4 minutes in FB ... I did check.

  10. #240
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    I had send you a message cause fb did not work for us, I had seen it before, people were writing and I had not seen what they were writing . i had seen your post and was answering to. Must be cookies
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

 

 

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