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  1. #241
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    I think all my fault srry D. Somthing about being logged in on more than one device. Not sure. Is OK ... the world is still spinning Go to run and put my car in for a change of tyres. Like hospitals, I do not trust those places.

  2. #242
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    Went for a brisk walk this morning. Mission accomplished.

    The latest book I am observing is called . Eating Less, Say Goodbye To Overeating'
    Here is an overview

    I can't eat when I am hungry. - Not until I am in tune and have control of my addiction. The good news it I am slowly getting a hold of my next comeback. My previous mindset with 'No More Comebacks' I now scrunch of and throw in the bin. I sing another tune : )

  3. #243
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    https://upliftconnect.com/why-were-a...re-of-addicts/

    Good read, although I extend the dynamics within the context of culture used in that article, beyond the atypical family environment to the 'by-product' which our society is responsible for. More over how our society regiments humans in general as more the primary issue with respect to abuse point blank. How do we accept this culture and learn to live with it? How do we endure it?

  4. #244
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    I uninstalled a game I compulsively play today. What triggered it was the toxic atmosphere at the Blizzard Forum and since uninstalling, I feel like my burden has lightened significantly. Both the compulsive playing and the toxic people. I spent a few hours cleaning one particular window. It was a big job because one of the windows needed pulling out, the sills cleaning and the wooden blinds also in need of a good vacuum and wipe. Huge job to do the hole house. There is quite a bit a round the place that needs doing. I'll work on it little by little.

  5. #245
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    I've also uninstalled games for the same reason, can always put em back after a little break. Just don't do what I did and uninstall the store app because I had to go through hell to get it back on win 10.

    I've been walking every day too. Some days it helps.. but, some days I carry along the negativity on the walk and further beat myself up without any help from people. Still think its good to get out of the house because the walls start to close in. Need to get started on cleaning here as well. Honestly can't keep blaming the holidays, although valentines day is around the corner and it makes me sad.

    Hard to avoid toxic people these days. Ever notice people have that look on their face all the time now, makes my trust in people even more difficult. For now, just me is all I can handle.

    Anyway, I know I wasn't much help but I care and hope things stop spinning for you and you get settled again. You will

    PS ~ I also have little trust in hospitals which is partly why I fight it so hard; going inpatient.
    Last edited by salvator here; 02-08-2019 at 03:45 PM.

  6. #246
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    I tell it like it is.

    Hell Sal. I say it like it is because sometimes we have to hear it. I read your other thread however was unable to respond. Is OK ... I get that although is hard for me to bite my tongue! I'll just say here and now because I think we need to hear it, that the only people that can help us; is ourselves. That said, some people make better guides that others and with respect to those revered 'text books' they are not only limited, but fallible because of the rigidity placed on said text. Just like the would be aspiring and well meaning professionals, the collection of characters that make up the text - imo - should be seen as no more than guides themselves; not religious text. Point and Case is that we are the ones that can only help ourselves. Sadly many paid helpers out there are too invested in all that time and effort they put in with their educating. They are unable to operate outside that box, nor their own limited experience. No matter how well meaning, in such cases it is best to change helpers and make sure to only see them as guide where you are the one who make choices. Don't beleive everything they say. Understand that they do not always know and often make mistakes. The good ones know this to be true for themselves and are not afraid to let you know. They can only do so much - in the end it is up to us.

    Changing therapists a lot also showed me just how much I was blinding myself so that despite the facts re would be professionals above, I was more the issues and not my therapist. It's just easy to blame others - especially those that unwittingly prod us. Some people like to be prodded and many therapists use that tact. In my case, I automatically move on from such clinical types ... but still stand by my point where in the early stages of therapy, I am often blinded by my own feelings, bias and so on. Don't get me wrong ... change therapist if you think they are not able to understand or respect you ... how you want to be heard or approached. There are some fairly toxic practices out there that we are better off without. Just be sure why it is your want help, why your going, what it is and how you wish to be helped ... but more over understand that none of these would be professionals have the power to solve another's issues. I does not work like that. They are nothing but guide.

    Sadly it does not help that many of these therapists and doctors sell themselves as Miracle Workers and that many of us buy into that crap. (Spiritual teachers also sell themselves like that and followers lap it up [we still have the 60s flower power reliving itself and it always will [yet different culture]) That there is the first problem most people face with Psychotherapy; as in their expectations. They think the therapist and doctor is there to save them. It don't work like that. If you think like that you will remain sick ... which of course is perfect for a perpetual system.
    _____________

    To be sure it's a little more complex than that ... as sure, we can help each other through lending an ear or in some cases even picking up the slack. In many cases a lot of us will enjoy taking an easy ride and unwittingly allow ourselves to become reliant by way of continually complaining and letting others do all the work where we start to bitch and moan about others when we are seemingly unable to reach or remain stable.
    ______________________________________

    BLA BAL BLA AND BLA
    DisclaimerI get a lot out of Psychotherapy! I have a good understanding of how it works and why and what I want ... despite my apparent and certified permanent condition which is up for debate in another thread.


    Then for those of us that understand all this very well ... we instead beat ourselves up. Try not to do that.
    _________

    I am glad you checked in. Keep posting man. Sorry if my response seems over the top.


    ABOUT THE NEGATIVITY ... I hear ya on that. I have been looking into the spiritual side of things with some interesting results re dark energy / entities. I would do well to write about that. More so how we seek to romance/stories and how in that we externalize and once again in the doing of that ... purposefully avoid seeing what already exist within. Yet more complex stuff as one could say it was implanted or received via environment, regardless of those dark feelings now residing withing ... encapsulating who we thing we really be / who is who within that state of being and yadda yadda and more yadda. Blaming and Shaming - Shaming being our societies number one source of driving and thriving towards a so called successful value systems based on anything but human feeling ... YET ... the battery power of worship does play into it's politics regardless of those who claim not to be sheep. Indeed .. no wonder we are all truly fucked up.

    The internet/you tube where once it helped, is now a fucking hard task to make sense of it all. (srry that fact is frustrating me is all) That said ... I aslo hold my own state to be as much a blindfold as I eluded with the therapy ramblings above.

    I go for a walk and think more on those states of negativity and why I even bothered taking on the romance of all those youtube stories/experiences. How to decipher??? Within the whimsical, fads, phonies, and sales pitches ... is a lot of truth to be had. I find myself going back to a lot of far out perplexity text. The Irony abounds. I put aside the insanity for a minute and thought It prudent to go check in with a Buddhist Forum - but my forum sign up application was rejected. They instead refereed me to a number of other communities. Although I am now over the knee jerk reaction that comes with such rejection, I still think it's very sad how the way such teachings have been regulated. Everything has been made into a religion.

    Not to worry - I get it for the most part. I checked out the referrals and saw mostly sheep. Eastern philosophy as good as it once was ... and still could be ... is just as much a part of the market place as anything else. I don't by into the whole thing eastern countries wanting it to be a secret ... yet I can see how different cultures molest it kind of thing. Is what it is. Just another branch as twisted as sourcing information on the corrupted world wide web. There is still good info out there, yet the need to find it is not necessarily helpful as one might think ... It is said we already have the knowledge within us and that all this BS seeking and thriving is in fact holding us back. That being another tangent.

    I go for that walk.
    Last edited by Ponder; 02-09-2019 at 02:40 PM.

  7. #247
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    fantastic post, a apropos the dark entity, they or it is attracted to dark energy to the darkness in us
    The work is to keep it in balance, which is very difficult to do in our world, To much negativity everywhere all around us, No doubts sensitive people pick it up.
    My experience is from time when I was doing readings like everyday. It makes one super sensitive to the energies.
    I had customers that even they said anything i knew it, I knew that something happened to other people they caused, Had it so many times..........
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  8. #248
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    One motivation to get well, is feeling sick of feeling sick. Letting go is more appropriate for my style o healing ... not trying to fight or hold on. Perhaps an avenue for others to think on when continually struggling does not seem to help. That kind of acceptance does not mean giving up, however there is an element of giving in. More so to self rather than anything else. All the voices in our head need not be spawn from wondrous tales of this or that existence ... nor schizophrenia - just different versions of our self. I laugh at the latter as - as crazy at that sounds, it actually makes a lot more sense to me and a hell of a lot less scary. Of course scary sells.

    But on the other side the coin ... perhaps it's just a cop out to think in ways that scare us less. Much easier to create one's own religion. Is there anything wrong with that. I guess if it's not hurting or imposing itself on others but what relgion does not? I can see were a little dogmatic thinking helps to navigate this world of addiction, but sadly the thinking and preaching typically involved, tends to consume itself. Science is it's own religion and sadly it's becoming more and more of the negative kind - eastern philosophy no more than a fad for mental masturbation and then there is the well being crowed whose most major PTSD issue relates to not enough money or satisfactory status. This being most of the BS that abounds. I am still a member of Gaia TV - There is much the same BS on it, but every and now and then there is something to be gleaned. I still question whether is is worth it when considering the amount of garbage you have to sift through in order to find something of worth. The latter being more of the 'Well Being Crowed' where money is the sole gauge of ones worth ... ones enlightenment. Less of course your into the alien conspiracies ... that one is less judgmental, less discriminatory and open to all sorts.

    So whats that answer ... where to look? Any Ideas?

    Start one's own cult?

  9. #249
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    Remember ... or did I say anything about the hospital nurse that allegedly sexually assaulted my daughter after she willingly went there to go see them in order to get some help? Lets just say they way they dealt with that, regardless of other women coming forward on social media has just resulted in me having to break into my daughters house and call an ambulance. Keeping context to how the shame in our society is manifested and how that in turn isolates and leads so many of us into self destructive ways ... is a hard task. I wonder if I should even try. Thankfully they took her to another hospital this time.

    Yet another thing I have to let go of and focus on that which I can control. Given the nature of the back story ... it was a hard call to make. Is hard to think of her in that place I hate. Best way I can see it, if she also does not like being in those places, she too will have to make changes that only she can make. Hard Core Acceptance - Accepting what is, even though you know it's %$#@ed!

    The drama never ends.

  10. #250
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    Srr D just reading now ... I missed you post because I was somewhat consumed with the episode I just posted above ... I will make cuppa and read you now. My bad.

 

 

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