Welcome to the Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks.
Panic 468x60
Page 46 of 60 FirstFirst ... 36444546474856 ... LastLast
Results 451 to 460 of 596
  1. #451
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    5,733
    I feel it's a genuine attempt to share D. Refreshingly so actually. Thanks for linking me up EwaGee. I have my grandson with me now, but look forward to checking out your insights a bit later.

    About that D - I am a little perturbed on what I should get to make the most out of it, but your right - it should be a good feeling as is a once in a life time opportunity. It's not enough to get myself or by my wife a car, but it is enough to upgrade some aspects of my lifestyle.

    I am srry to hear about the bureaucratic process of life draining like so. I feel the same way with the medical and welfare side of things. I just had a good visit with on Occupational Therapist - OT - or however they are refereed to. I always get confused with their designation as the Occupation side of things sounds like a J-O-B. At the end of today's session I was encouraged as to my understanding and the way I look to manage in a society in which I do not fit. Something like that. I even used the word spiritual in today's session. Something about taking the focus of the clinical text regarding sensory reception in both positive and negative positions. Or is as I was hoping to do when explaining how some sensory perceptions that might trigger me negatively in large shopping centres, can actually lift my spirits when experience in nature. The example I was responding to was lights in a shopping centre and the yes whilst I find those quite annoying, I respond well to light trickling through the canopy of trees in a wooded area. In this context I struggled with many of the questions. It was a sensory questioner ... with many others that I still fathom as not a good way to box people ... BUT ... having said that, I respect the process and the lady's ability in doing what she does.

    Hmmm ... I best get back to the little one I have missed him much.

    Catch up later.

    Thx again EwaGee and hoping the frustration will pass soon enough D.

  2. #452
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    5,733
    Solid Walk, no caffeine, less sugar and all that yummy stuff ... Up early although still having to drag myself. Here's to a good day.

  3. #453
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    5,733
    What's happening D?

  4. #454
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    5,733
    COOL



    Hollywood leaking information.

  5. #455
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    5,747
    I have no energy to post anymore, you know that I fill up papers for retirement , it takes like 4 thousand application to fill, it is hopeless
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  6. #456
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    5,733
    Just heading off to bed D. Thx for posting. Srry your still feeling this way. I do understand. I wish life was not like so. No matter what peace I find, I will allways have room for other peoples pain. We'll at least those I have come to know. It's ironic because the truth is that I don't trust people at all. I am trying though. I still walk onto the road when various others aproach.

    Just saying I too am feeling tired and have a hard time taking others in. I still want to connect so still say hello to those willing to budge. Somthing like that.

    Hope the peoples desk your paper work cross are willing to help.

    Take care D

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  7. #457
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    5,747
    every piece of paper is filled and send to numerous agencies, We went to sign up so many papers, and they needed to be certified, Thats nonsense they have access to all your information, Every year I am doing my income taxes eh
    Honestly I would be ok not to see more people ......
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  8. #458
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    5,733
    You'll get there D. Here's hoping.

    I really should just post in the morning but not sure I will have time as the little fella is staying over tonight. Poor guy has conjunctivitis. Unfortunately it has spread to his other eye. Very hard to treat him as (as like his pop) he is super sensitive. Thankfully we are managing at getting some of the drops in. Was just a let down to see his other eye starting to junk up. His is in good hand. Will keep him until it clears up.

    Hmmm ... Thinking about doing some part time work ... not sure. Just toying with it for now. I have started advertising computer repairs but only hearing back from spammers since fielding my phone number. More looking into the possibility of doing some mentoring myself. The logistics look more of a hassle than the mentoring. I also have my own triggers which will make matching up with appropriate clients a bit tricky. People entering back into the work force with mental illness is has been refereed to as Open Workplace ... or a Workplace that both assists and hones in on the benefits of using people with lived experience and bla bla bla ... LOL ... not exactly selling myself there. These days the industry is full of a LOT of BS. If I do enter back into it ... it will be without a BS certificate. Hard to fathom I could pull that off ... but IF ... and that is a BIG if ... I will let you know how I pull that off.

    For now I am looking to assist and encourage one of my own friend (also on a pension and national disability insurance program) to become a paid worker in supporting me. I rang up on his behalf to work out the logistics and discovered just how flexible the process can be. It's just something that's NOT advertised so readily as too many people may be seen to be circumventing or exploiting yadda yadda and more yadda/s

    Sigh ... Fact is peers on the same level do a much better job when it comes to supporting each other in the community. I have always advocated as much but always been met with resistance as the system seeks to put one above the other. When that happens, it's no longer peers supporting peers. So many times I have tried to raise this issue. ZZZZZZzzzzzz It was only by chance when speaking with my allotted NDIS coordinator on speaker phone and explaining that my friend currently in the room was the best support worker their agency could ever hope to implement when it come to servicing me. Fact is they have been having a hard time finding someone who fits well for me. (Those only in it for the money or those that only see me as no more than a client - do not last long with me ... or I with them) There are next to no males in our location and then there is the age factor, culture and so on. Matching up is important in this game, less one be simply parading around with a badged industry worker who is just counting the clock. Anways ... it was suggested that my friend could go through the process and become my support worker. This idea I jumped on and started investigating to assist him. (Also on opportunity for myself as the plan I am on allows to get assistance from anyone with a Business registration aka ABN (BS certification in mental health not required -[these days is like cereal packet course])

    Like I said ... evenings is not my best time. Pretty much the best way I can meet up with someone like myself is going to be me advertising myself to support someone else, but with my own list of Can Do/s and Cant/s. It's been spouted to me many times to do such a thing. Basically long story short, (already long for the twitching types) after supporting my own friend in helping him to make a few bucks by already being my friend (LMFAO) as opposed to seeking out a disinterested paid friend whom typically acts like a therapist trying to fix one ... well ... I was delightfully surprised and encouraged that I could do the same myself without risk of losing my pension. The latter being a factor in why I have never tried to overcome my barriers to re-enter the workforce on any level ... I do have legitimized reasons that have me already pensioned off - BUT - after today's phone call ... is good to know there are programs to still give us hope. Like I say ... they are not readily advertised is all.

    hmmmm Yea ... something like that. I have zero interest in working over the threshold that would otherwise cut into my pension. That would not only see me pushing myself too hard to early, but also see me being taxed with various others disincentives. Little by little ... only after a little pocket money, but more so knowing I could still be worth something to society on some level would be my main boost. I don't like chasing money for the sake of money. That gets very old ... Very quick!!! Either way ... Big challenge for me. I'm seriously considering it.

    Anyways ... that's today's story.

    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz For now ... all that matters is my grandson's current condition.

    Night night -
    Last edited by Ponder; 06-14-2019 at 03:37 AM.

  9. #459
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    5,747
    On 2016 I lost my job due the company being bought by bigger one. They get rid of "non essential" positions. They papers I was working on were send by fax to India and they did it. I said fuck it, I am not going to look for another job anymore. I already had opened the business few months ago and started on December 2015 selling on market, It was small , but when in January 2016 they told me that my position is not more, i was set up. You should see the face of boss , when I am told him ; I am fine I already am running small business. I was genuinely smiling. Who cares about idiotic slaving at computer. The fact is I had a good, very good savings I could put into business. Now I have huge booth and tons of customers.
    Without any loan or help from anyone
    My hubby had build displays and molds that was huge help
    Repairing or building computers is good, Many people buys refurbished computers. there is a guy on market for the last 7 years he sell them and repair , Not huge money but something. Computers is your thing D. If you would be any closer you would build mine. I have a high confidence in your skill
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  10. #460
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    5,733

    Fuck that thing humans call W-O-R-K

    Hi D - Glad you had something to fall back on. It's the competitive nature of so called WORK and also the slave mentality that goes with it that I don't gel with. I have always been an awesome worker, but at the first sign of totalitarian authority and peer pressure in the form of work place clicks, I simply move on. Overbearing authority and click group mentality has given way to humans simply being mostly assholes today. The extremely unreliable ones are difficult to repair computers for due to never being able to get a system going with pickups and drops off. I struggle dealing with them because they often lie which only adds to the problem with me needing to know when someone is coming of not. This gets worse as you line up a number or repairs. Then in general you get those that wine and complain. I no longer am able to deal with such people. Then there are the entitles ones who surprisingly are not so much the ones without money, but quite the opposite. They could afford to purchase 10 new high end systems but want you to work for peanuts. They are also generally more difficult to deal with ... OR if your happy to work for less they treat you more like a slave ... They don't get it.

    Already I am dealing with people who have had me prepare for a job, but they do not show up. Think of such as your atypical FaceBook crowed when buying and selling. That about sums up humanity today. I love computers D. Building them and repairing them. It's been my life. I have put the idea out there ... but not already stressing about the thought of dealing with people. I'll think more on it ... Just not sure at this stage.

    I am even second guessing the whole mentoring thing, but that is normal for me. I do that with any job I think about doing. It really is more the Nature of what we humans have mad a J-O-B become. It really is a slave mentialy this day and age more then ever before. People don't get that. Instead many prefer to attack others for not working caring less of another's barriers. Again - carry a big stick = resist. OCD aka Oppositional Defiance Disorder. You don't have to be on the autism spectrum do suffer with that. That too is also natural. It's just that most people are typically pacified by fear. I generally respond by doing the opposite of what people expect. This means if someone raises a stick, instead of bowing down, I'll pick up a stick of my own. The equivalent in society terms is if I am pushed to vote, I won't. If I am forced to work, I won't. If I am forced to sit, I wont. So and so on. I don't see it as much a disorder but simply a boycot.

    Not sure what I am going to do. People put thoughts in my head all the time whilst I am on the welfare system as a broken individual. Just because I am on a pension does not mean I escape the issues of competitive marketing and peer group pressures. It is still very much ever present as I attempt to get a handle on my boycotting mentality. Is hard to explain. I do want confidence ... but either way I go there is simply more pressure than I can stand. That upsets me greatly because I do want to feel worthy. Sadly in all directions I look, I struggle with finding the flexibility that on the surface is often sold. I doubt I could keep up with the systems way of keeping track in whatever I do. It would always come back on me in a negative way and tell my it's all my fault.

    This is why I generally do things for NOTHING. No tax man or welfare dept breathing down me neck. Doing things for money no matter what your doing is just being a slave, unless of course you think your winning and then most likely see yourself more as a Master! Either way, it comes down to winners and losers. I know what losing it like, therefore I care less to be a winner knowing the price. I think the latter really sums it up for me. You get angry and bitter at first, but eventually succumb to the pressure of depression knowing that the world will never change. Rather than get all religious or new age about it; the whole prison planet theory instead makes a lot of sense.

    How not to be a prisoner in a prison ... that's me path I guess.
    __________________________________________________ ____

    If I lived near you, I would help out for nothing less. I'm guessing you would give me a couple your home made creams for my crusty face. Sounds like a good deal either way.

    Forgive me all ... if my point of view makes your eyes squint.

    Later D ...
    Last edited by Ponder; 06-15-2019 at 04:31 PM.

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Driving Large