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  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    Mar 2015
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    I don't feel normal

    This is my first time ever going on a forum, a friend told me to check out forums awhile back and I've decided to. So my whole life I've dealt with anxiety, I went to a doctor about 3 weeks ago and now I have medicine for anxiety, it just seems that everything keeps getting worse. My friends don't understand what I'm going through. I'm afraid to talk about it too. No one gets that this is more than a little bit of stress from time to time, it's just so hard to explain that I haven't been normal my whole life and I now realize how bad it's gotten. So I guess I'm seeking advice or even just someone who understands me because it just feel like no one does. My parents try to read me like a book, my friends just say that it'll get better and I'm scared that it won't. I can't even look my best friend in the eyes because I'm afraid of the monster inside of me that he'll see. I'm scared to be honest. My anxiety attacks have become common occurrences and I'm always afraid another one will strike. Any advice or kind words would be appreciated, I feel pretty alone in this right now.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Oct 2013
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    Melbourne, Australia
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    Hi and welcome

    What medicine do you have?

    Anxiety can be such a horrible, lonely experience because people without it just don't know what you go through. It's better understood now than twenty years ago when I was diagnosed, but still not that well. You still get people saying "just relax!" and for you that's the hardest thing in the world.

    Anyway, there are lots of people here who do understand how you feel.

    All the best,
    Gypsy x

    P.S. The main board here is "General Discussion" in the Anxiety Disorders section
    Chaos isn't a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some, are given a chance to climb. They refuse, they cling to the realm or the gods or love. Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is. —Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish, Game of Thrones

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    USA - Florida
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    I have restructured your post to highlight the truth inside of you. IF you read it as is - (in acute form below), with typo-emphasis from a 3rd party perspective you just might glean insight - maybe. Hopefully before IT attacks again.

    Quote Originally Posted by alyssum View Post

    My whole life I've dealt with anxiety.

    Everything keeps getting worse.

    My friends don't understand what I'm going through.

    I'm afraid to talk about it.

    No one gets (me) that this is more than a little bit of stress.

    I haven't been normal my whole life.

    I'm afraid of the monster inside of me. (VERY powerful and telling statement of fact)

    I'm scared to be honest.

    My anxiety attacks have become common occurrences.

    I'm always afraid another one will strike.

    I feel alone in this.


    What is this BEAST you speak of? What does IT look like? Have you had any training in slaying IT? Why does IT strike you? Do you have weapons, armor, and a shield to protect against ITS advances ?

    This is frightening.

    Now,

    Lets rewrite it, with only the underlined words forming a paragraph. To see whats really in that fearful mind. Still, your own words, just condensed to expose the real thoughts :

    "My whole life, everything, my friends just don't understand...Im afraid, no one gets me, that I'm not normal....MONSTER ! I'm scared..Inside me..HONEST !...Common occurrence (attacks), I'm always afraid of another strike ! I feel so alone.....Please..Help me."

    That condensed (thought/feeling/emotion of pure fear) is the result of your beliefs about self and who you are. And I have just given you in our little play time here the reasons for the anxiety your whole life, and where to look for the beast, and face it. The above condensed paragraph in quotes is most likely the same emotion displayed, truthfully, among many readers here, at least internally. Most are afraid of expression, as you are. Those suppressed ideas that you hold about self and the world (lies) keep the monster fed and able to chase you relentlessly.

    Love and light - to fight the beast.
    Last edited by Im-Suffering; 03-22-2015 at 06:47 AM.
    "Each person alive helps paint the living picture of civilization as it exists at any given time. Be your own best artist. Your thoughts, feelings, and expectations are like the living brush strokes with which you paint your corner of lifes landscape. If you do your best in your own life, then you are helping to improve the quality of all life. Your thoughts mix and merge with others, to form man's living-scape, providing the vast mental elements from which physical events will be formed"

  4. #4
    Junior Member
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    Mar 2015
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    25
    I'm taking Prozac. I had been taking 10 milligrams for two weeks and my doctor upped it to 20 four days ago.

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    22
    It really is hard and frustrating when people aren't able to understand what you're dealing with, especially when it's those close to you because you feel like you can't go to them for help. Just know that even if they can't understand you fully, that they're always there for you and will always love you.

    Otherwise, there are plenty of people here who do understand and can relate to you! I'm sure you'll always be able to find help here.

  6. #6
    Junior Member
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    Apr 2015
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    Chicago
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    Quote Originally Posted by Im-Suffering View Post
    I have restructured your post to highlight the truth inside of you. IF you read it as is - (in acute form below), with typo-emphasis from a 3rd party perspective you just might glean insight - maybe. Hopefully before IT attacks again.






    What is this BEAST you speak of? What does IT look like? Have you had any training in slaying IT? Why does IT strike you? Do you have weapons, armor, and a shield to protect against ITS advances ?

    This is frightening.

    Now,

    Lets rewrite it, with only the underlined words forming a paragraph. To see whats really in that fearful mind. Still, your own words, just condensed to expose the real thoughts :

    "My whole life, everything, my friends just don't understand...Im afraid, no one gets me, that I'm not normal....MONSTER ! I'm scared..Inside me..HONEST !...Common occurrence (attacks), I'm always afraid of another strike ! I feel so alone.....Please..Help me."

    That condensed (thought/feeling/emotion of pure fear) is the result of your beliefs about self and who you are. And I have just given you in our little play time here the reasons for the anxiety your whole life, and where to look for the beast, and face it. The above condensed paragraph in quotes is most likely the same emotion displayed, truthfully, among many readers here, at least internally. Most are afraid of expression, as you are. Those suppressed ideas that you hold about self and the world (lies) keep the monster fed and able to chase you relentlessly.

    Love and light - to fight the beast.

    Wow, I've never tried this before but it's very insightful!

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    109
    Quote Originally Posted by alyssum View Post
    This is my first time ever going on a forum, a friend told me to check out forums awhile back and I've decided to. So my whole life I've dealt with anxiety, I went to a doctor about 3 weeks ago and now I have medicine for anxiety, it just seems that everything keeps getting worse. My friends don't understand what I'm going through. I'm afraid to talk about it too. No one gets that this is more than a little bit of stress from time to time, it's just so hard to explain that I haven't been normal my whole life and I now realize how bad it's gotten. So I guess I'm seeking advice or even just someone who understands me because it just feel like no one does. My parents try to read me like a book, my friends just say that it'll get better and I'm scared that it won't. I can't even look my best friend in the eyes because I'm afraid of the monster inside of me that he'll see. I'm scared to be honest. My anxiety attacks have become common occurrences and I'm always afraid another one will strike. Any advice or kind words would be appreciated, I feel pretty alone in this right now.
    I was in your shoes for a long time. You are PERFECTLY normal. Your brain is having a battle with itself. When you have a panic attack, your brain is moving too fast for you to think rationally. This scares us. What worked for me is CONVINCING yourself that you aren't going to die. You don't have a tumor in your throat. You aren't having a heart attack! All of those things were just fears for me. If you fear something enough, your body can THINK that those symptoms are happening. When I had panic attacks, my throat actually would swell. This made me panic more! It was terrifying.

    BUT THEN! But then I realized that when I wasn't having a panic attack, my throat was perfectly fine. I thought to myself "Hmmm, AV1988, that's a pretty big coincidence that when you panic, your throat feels tighter...but when you're at home playing video games you feel 100% fine".

    It's not coincidence. It's a fact that my anxiety created the symptoms.

    Alyssum, you have survived 100% of your panic attacks. It's time you convince your mind. It's hard to train the brain. You can do this. You're undefeated when battling your panic attacks. You've made it through each one!

    Reach out if you ever need anything. You can do this. Drive on!

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Maine, United States
    Posts
    714
    Feeling and thinking that nobody understands how you feel isn't easy.

    I think that some people know how you feel more than others. Some can relate to you more than others.

  9. #9
    Junior Member
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    Oct 2015
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    127.0.0.1
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    Quote Originally Posted by Im-Suffering View Post
    I have restructured your post to highlight the truth inside of you. IF you read it as is - (in acute form below), with typo-emphasis from a 3rd party perspective you just might glean insight - maybe. Hopefully before IT attacks again.




    What is this BEAST you speak of? What does IT look like? Have you had any training in slaying IT? Why does IT strike you? Do you have weapons, armor, and a shield to protect against ITS advances ?

    This is frightening.

    Now,

    Lets rewrite it, with only the underlined words forming a paragraph. To see whats really in that fearful mind. Still, your own words, just condensed to expose the real thoughts :

    "My whole life, everything, my friends just don't understand...Im afraid, no one gets me, that I'm not normal....MONSTER ! I'm scared..Inside me..HONEST !...Common occurrence (attacks), I'm always afraid of another strike ! I feel so alone.....Please..Help me."

    That condensed (thought/feeling/emotion of pure fear) is the result of your beliefs about self and who you are. And I have just given you in our little play time here the reasons for the anxiety your whole life, and where to look for the beast, and face it. The above condensed paragraph in quotes is most likely the same emotion displayed, truthfully, among many readers here, at least internally. Most are afraid of expression, as you are. Those suppressed ideas that you hold about self and the world (lies) keep the monster fed and able to chase you relentlessly.

    Love and light - to fight the beast.
    I have mace +4 against Orcs and Thornmail armor. Just kidding, I like what you've done here! Helped me out! Great Job!

  10. #10
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Lenexa, Kansas
    Posts
    22
    I've felt with anxiety the majority of my whole life. O don't use any prescriptions, I mainly use natural methods such as magnesium, Valerian, beer(hops) and I find those work better than prescriptions.
    As for trying to talk to people I was lucky enough to have a very open minded family. I can talk to them about anything and everything about how I feel, what I feel during an episode, how I feel so different from other people(like sleeping 2-4 hours a night because I'm scared to sleep) and I find it really helps my relationship with everyone. I try to get them to understand what I go through, the crying, the panic of sudden death, the fears I face everyday. I tell them how I see it through my eyes. Maybe you should be super open and lay it all on the line. Reading you like a book won't help anything if you don't talk to them. They love you, for you. Your friend is your friend because he sees something in you that most other people don't have. Open up and tell them your struggle, how it's not just something you will all of the sudden be cured of. It could take awhile until you get better, and you need to make that clear. My aunt is a psychologist who works with children that suffer from anxiety and she said she sees a lot of improvement in children who are open with people because then people try to understand, they help stay away from triggers and in the end see a light at the end of the tunnel on both sides.

    Don't feel alone because I'm sure you have many people who think the world of you. Just be open and honest. And if you need an ear, just message me. I understand what it's like. Just remember you are NOT alone.
    Pushing positive vibes your way!
    -Kiersten Joy

 

 

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