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  1. #111
    Children create themselves independently of us. All you can do is show them they feel loved. They need to know they’re loved. Have good self-esteem. Very important. That not everyone lives like them. Provide travel experiences that they can enjoy, and give them a restless and curious mind. Encourage that in every way you can. Oh, and that not everyone will like them, and that’s okay.

  2. #112
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    Sounds like good advice. I'll.try. Thanks Ross.

  3. #113
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    Going Back to The Gym

    Thinking about joining a gym again. Hmmmmm.

    Pros & Cons as defined by me:

    I prefer well lit gyms with preferably no music other than what members bring with them. Sadly this is next to impossible as the fitness industry is driven with a lot loud and obnoxious noise. This brings me to the gym atmosphere. I smile because much of the issues can stem more from my own bias. Whilst I went through many phases of meathead mentality combined with a cross fit warrior persona I no longer play into that market like so. That said it can be hard not to get caught up in the drama when down at the local gym. Vanity bites! I much prefer my timid side, yet understand well the healing that comes from confidence. The world is full of double binds and this Alan watts speaks of so well. There are many lectures dedicated just to that subject.

    Anyways ... despite the major distraction of unwanted play lists being backed up on the gym Juke Box, I can sidetrack that with a good set of earbuds. The offset is having devices jammed in my ears and as a someone who lives with tinnitus it's a tight rope to walk, yet the trade off to that with psychical conditioning in return does seem to be of more benefit. Other ways to negate the trigger of unwanted music for me is to readjust my times I go to the gym. The earlier the better - but must fit within my circadian clock which is mostly in accordance with nature. The other way around my sensory issues as relates to OP Music, is to practice acceptance. This presents me with an opportunity for meditation practice and tolerance whilst I work out at the same time.

    Dealing with OP. Other People in general. There surely is a LOT of arrogance down at the gym ... not discounting me own of course. A lot of triggers to negotiate. Going back to the same gym I went to last time and given I have gym experience this should not be so hard. I do struggle with the 'supper setting' mentality where the more obnoxious types take up multiple pieces of equipment at the same time. I've used this as part of a 'trying to get along' where I will politely ask if I can join in - in between sets, however I have been stood over once or twice which is a major trigger for me. Once a BIG guy surprised me by suddenly appearing up close to my ear and whispering in a bitter tone "What d-ya think your doing? I'm not finished with this gear!" For me it was more a feeling of being stalked in a way I did not see this guy coming, his energy and the way he way standing over me. I stewed on it and later called him out in front of the gym by standing a head shorter, up under his face whilst he was busy doing his own sets. Thankfully It did not get out of hand and it was a lesson for me in just how triggering gyms can be. Both for myself and others. I'm sure that guy will be there when I go back and if not him, there will be others like him and I am going to have to watch where I step like when walking through the bush. Sigh ... so why go back?

    Hmmmm - Well ... I live with others and don't want to wake them up with my feet hitting the treadmill that I really can't afford to purchase. Even when I get my pace up and do so lightly, even the quietest of treadmills make noise. Then comes the BO. So it is that I have been informed by my wife she would prefer me to return to the gym. There is no denying for me just how effective psychical activity is for me. I can not dig the yards up how I used to on the farms I used to work, yet there is a calling in me to naturally exert beyond what I can do in a rented property. I don't have the room in the small houses we tend to live in and being a transitional lifestyle we live, without the means to ever purchase our own home (which is actually fine by us) a gym makes sense. Also the noise I create with weights and cardio equipment outside is not fair on the neighbors as we all live so close these days. I don't feel comfortable intruding on others with my own noise when I don't wish for it myself. At least at the gym I can put earbuds in and make as much noise as I wish. Although I try not to break their equipment. lol

    Arrrr ... the sun is coming up now. I've allowed myself to drop back a little from having to meet it every time before it comes up. Mind you though I will be making sure to keep up those sun rise and sun set viewings a regular thing. For now I'm just going through the motions of doing what works.

    Yes D ... my continual effort to right my boat is working for me. Must be ... to be thinking of returning to the gym. I stuck out the 18 month contract previous (+ those before them) and pretty much attended ever week. Honoring contracts comes easy to me; at least if I am in agreement with them.

    I still think more on this. I have to come up with the initial money which is a fair whack at the gym I want to go to. The other gyms are too dark for my liking. Have a lot of more dysfunctional gym mentality not conducive to my health. (Grey to be sure) Granted for others, their goals and aspirations may work for them and I'll respect that. The gym I intend to go back to has more old people and rehab work. Still a lot of Tycho night glow, drama queens, ninja warriors and so on. Is all good though. Everyone want's to be a star and who can blame then in such a competitive world. It's good to have diversity - I'll be optimistic with that thought. After all we need balance : ) I only wish I had money to open up a zen gym. This my wife and I have talked about more than a few times. Is good to dream but will try not to cling.

    In the mean time I create me own reality inside the gym best suited for me. For now I go work on where to get the sign up money and enjoy the sun which is free.

    Adios ... until later.
    Last edited by Imperfect; 08-02-2018 at 03:29 PM.

  4. #114
    @Imperfect: Problem with gyms is overt western body fascism.

  5. #115
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    Complaint: Systemic Issues within Flourish

    Grrrr ... just lost my post. Not to worry. Things are going well enough. Here is the response I got from my complaint Ross:
    ___________________

    Dear David.

    Thank you for emailing your complaint.
    I am so very sad and so sorry that you have been totally isolated and received no support concerning the multitude of issues you were experiencing directly as were other members and the far reaching impacts of detrimental affect this has had upon each of you.

    As it is my responsibility to actively support members when they are experiencing any sort of injustice unfairness discrimination etc within Flourish I would like to reassure you that I will represent you in bringing your case forward to where it can be properly considered and secondly I will also support you in taking your case forward to the Human Rights Commission.

    For your reassurance my position is completely independent and I answer to Flourish board of directors only. All doors must be open to me when I am acting on behalf of a service member. Everything remains confidential. Safety is paramount as is trust.

    Just how we proceed I will need to sit with over the next few days. Ph conferencing Skype maybe an option if you were comfortable with this I struggle with both however I figure there are other alternatives in place that I can look into. do think though a visit to you at Hervey Bay will be required.

    As I need to download your complaint and temporarily do not have the facilities to do so here at home, I will be back in the office next Wednesday and can do this then. I can give you a ring then if you would like. I also would have some idea of a plan. There are so many violations you have raised that in order to do justice to them all our approach will require careful and meticulous planning and not most likely not sequential in their order.

    I look forward to our communication next week.
    I do remember you David from the meeting and enjoyed sharing some time with you. I also remember your support person as he inquired about your role. I felt it terrific that he was able to accompany you as he should have(no brainer there) pretty disgusted however to see you had to fight for that!

    Thank you for having the tenacity courage resilience and outrage to bring to my attention. Let’s see if we can direct this outrage to achieving positive outcomes for you.

    Warmest regards
    ****
    Flourish Australia Senior Independent Advocate.

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    I don't want to be pessimistic about this response. We find it hopeful one. My wife and I put in a lot of time outlining my complaint regarding many breaches in policy and procures and most of all how those breaches has negativity impacted other clients as well as myself. I manage to get a phone number and win the trust of one affected individual and name a couple of others. The manager of flourish might of got rid of me with his bullying behavior, but I have a couple of good friends I have made that visit my house and I in turn theirs. I intend to foster those relations but care less for flourish now. I will follow through on my complaint however all the way to the top. Again - I do not wish to be pessimistic at this point regarding my despair in the system. Yes ... the system is designed to keep people down - WHICH IS WHY I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!! I will be more upset with myself if I do not take this to the end regardless of how hopeless the system be. At least I will know that I gave it my best shot.

    __________________

    On other fronts ... I have another house for RiseUp to fully setup tomorrow. Thankfully we have more help this time. My wife has been in a good mood as she loves doing this kind of work. It's also giving me a purpose as well. When we go to pick up donations it's a good feeling to see genuine people giving without expectation. Although that said, it was discouraging to find a heap of Bible pamphlets that someone went to a lot of trouble in hiding them in all the clothes that they had donated. We took great care in removing all of those. The charity we work for in not religious and it's not fair for someone else's beliefs to be imposed upon the vulnerable people in need. It's a good my wife is running things for this area. Thankfully one of my friends has gone through the volunteer process and can give me a hand with the heavy lifting.

    WOOPS - past my bed time. 8:30 now 8:50 ... Good Night.

    Oh yea ... My daughter is going to loan me the Gym Sign up fees. Signing Up On Monday Woohoooo!!! It is costly though ... normally $100 Joining Fee + $50 for the Security Card (Plastic card??) and then First month $60 [@18 month contract] - They are letting me off the joining fee because I have previously complete an 18 month contract (or so I was told today) ... will therefore cost me $110 ... Is insane to think it could of been $210.00
    _____

    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Night night.
    Last edited by Imperfect; 08-03-2018 at 05:02 AM.

  6. #116
    I hope the author doesn't get drawn over the coals for emailing you outside of work time, etc. but it seems a heartfelt reply. The board of directors will be the issue and if they can take on that the manager they appointed was a bad call. I've never heard of an organisation offering to support a client/ member to take a complaint to the AHRC. If they Skype or visit, will you also be organising your own support person to be present there with you? If not, I think that would be wise.

    Glad RiseUp is keeping you both busy

    All the best with Monday's sign up too.

  7. #117
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    Is all good Ross. They are independent and do not work for flourish.

    Had a reasonable day thank you.

    Hope your having a good weekend.
    Last edited by Imperfect; 08-04-2018 at 02:43 AM.

  8. #118
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    I'm feeling a bit nervous about signing up for a gym membership tomorrow. Yesterday's experience as a volunteer reminded me more about my own sensitivities when around other people despite personality clashes and or personal bias. I briefly mentioned some of the bias in above post but then deleted it because I did not want play into the negative mindsets that come from feeding opinions. I'm just noting my observations in how I handle myself around others and the resulting conflict that takes place within myself when is social situations. Reminding myself of why I am participating and what it is that I'm intending, helps me not to see other peoples opinions as a mere reflection of myself. I would do just as well to remind myself that much of the speech that finds it way out during idle moments, is pretty much preconditioned to a point where people today just can't help themselves. Often such dialog says more about the individual than it does the points they are attempting to make. Living in a world full of so much categorizing and judgments does make this aspect of socializing quite draining for those of us that much prefer to work in peace. I'm so glad I have this space in which to unload for fear of sounding like an opinionated gas bagging individual with working along side others. (Instead I just do it myself in here.) Smiles ... because I can see how at different times, that my own silence can lead opinionated individuals in social situations to sense their own importance being somewhat of an annoyance that only serves to alienate more than it does to justify their speech.

    How does this relate to the gym? More on the picking up of body language that equates to much of the same thing. A musing in sensitivities to varying degrees. Pros and Cons - yadda yaddsa. Idealistic goals such as body image to be sure plays into this line of thought as well. Now pushed for time as a friend is just now requesting a Minecraft session where I am making some good gains in a new world I have been creating over the last few days. (off and on)

    The only other aspect I wanted to touch on but can wait ... is keep busy. You recently wished me well on this Ross and whilst it was well received, I wanted to relay somewhat how it is that 'busy' is not something I like to be. I mean not to quote as I do not like the feeling that comes from deconstructing everyone's words. However coming to respect other's people's needs. Quote as you will. It's just that this one term 'busy' is something that does not work well for me. Not in the terms is so commonly thrust upon so many as a means to keep people from themselves and or connecting with others where it truly counts. Busy to me as it's been imposed is more to do with control and little to do with the freedom to express.

    OK ... that's a wrap ... time to go be myself in Minecraft as I have just done in here.

    Adios until next post.
    Last edited by Imperfect; 08-04-2018 at 03:35 PM.

  9. #119
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    I did it! Signed up for 12 months this time instead of 18 like it did previously a year ago. It was good to be back doing what feels so natural to me. The Irony is I have written more than just a few times just how unnatural it be for us to be using gyms as a sole means fo psychical activity. None the less so effective it is for my predispositions that I feel whole heartily that returning to the gym is a healthy decision. I got lucky with time of day and there not being too much testosterone, tyco night glo or loud music. I even felt comfortable enough to have a shower before I left. All in all ... a good start back.

    Well ... I got a reply from St Francis Social Services regarding Dr David Leary OFM. The wanted to the details regarding my police report and advised they will be doing the same thing as well as contacting others up the chain. I collected all the information I have to date reflected on in here, put it all together and passed it back onto them. So it seems some acknowledgement will come out of that. The stuff happening with the children's home is still under process. I have pretty much done all I can for now. The Flourish complain is going along smoothly.

    I think I am ready to start dealing with the Redress now. I'll Pick Wed this week to pick those papers up and see what happens. Depends how my other half is doing. Without her I am not much chop. Sigh. I really should talk my wife into going to the beach tomorrow ... just to sit and stare at the water together. About as interment was we can get with all things considered. Lot's of work sifting though all of the above, however starting to get things rolling will see us soon moving on and perhaps with me being less of a burden.

    The little fella just had another visit with his Dad without any incidents that we know of. It would be nice to here about the positives but since there is no communication going on ... that just makes it hard. The little one is getting Speech Therapy however it's just not enough for him to adequately relay events ... we also do not push him. We encourage as best we can ... I can only hope that if anything bad happens that he will feel supported enough to let us know as best he can. Family breakups, resulting conflict, corrupt systems and visitations lead to an awful mess when complacency sets in. Is hard enough being strong without falling into offloading, projecting and negative mindsets. I just keep loving him as best I can ... keep giving him happy memories to help him endure and maybe, just maybe ... even have some fun with his Dad regardless of everyone's fear.
    Last edited by Imperfect; 08-06-2018 at 02:08 AM.

  10. #120
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    LOL

    Yeah, too much testosterone and the vanity turns me off from joining a gym. Great news and I hope you find it helpful, and I hope everything with family start to seem more optimistic also.

    I hope your week is starting out alright

 

 

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