edit .. just saw you post ... keep missing the boat. Thank You D - I will somehow pull though this ... Thank You D. Talk in the morning to find some hope. Ty also Rosspark
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SIGH ... so glad your here. Srry about the roller coaster in the thread. Just been skimming over Bravehearts Position Statement. Thanks for dropping the name Bravehearts.
I mean not to dismiss the abuse when I refer to these abusers as victims themselves. Yes June fucked us kids up in many ways. I'm trying to go down the track of forgiveness. I know that probably sounds crazy given I am once again yelling and screaming feeling all kinds of rage.
Danny was there in around 82, maybe a little earlier as he went before me. I can't remember how long - My brain is all mush now. I can't even remember the DOB of my kids, wife or much else ... let alone what day it is. It's hard living like that. People just don''t get it ... but I do when I see others in the street going thought the same thing. If anything it's becoming more common place.
The man charged with pedophilia related to St Edmund's school I don't beleive was there at the same time as Danny. What raised concerns for me is the prolific nature at which this disease of exploiting kids has and seems to be as the case was with Pastor Frank Fullwood and my own experience with Leary. Connecting the dots is not hard to see that the probability ... and again ... look at those commission statistics I began to share ... I tell you not for attention ... but factually so, that if I did not have such a strong calling to be here for my family I would check out of this miserable life. Not to worry ... I take strength in your being here as well as my other online friends. None the less ... sigh ...
I don't care about the money! I just tried pleading with one of the places attached to Leary ... wanting them to take that claim as a statement. All I want is for Leary to face me and tell me his side of the story. Give him a chance to deny me without the courts. OR a chance to say sorry. WHY ... why? There is no way in hell that I knew what I was doing. If my mind is so unsound that they took my name off the compulsory voting list re advice from clinical psychologist ... then how was it I knew what I was doing back then? At any rate ... if you cant vote at age 17, then why would some homeless kid who grew up in a one horse town know any better. Add to that I only found out about there being one bed when I arrived at his home. It's just BS is what it is. Seriously what the fuck was he doing offering his home up to us kids?
This whole thing about him being used to defend and act like some kind of saint in the face of what's taken place ... that shit is the core of why I say I feel so on edge re checking out. Again ... I work on my breathing ... but to keep living like this?
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Lord Heavenly Father ... you know why I doubt you so
You know how far this deception goes
You know - that they know
they know - that they know.
I cling to life so that my children will know
that they will know - you know
and when they see as much,
you will then know - why they doubt thee.
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In your Name they tell us to COMEIN
a centre for us vulnerable kids
You know how much I worshiped you
how does that make you feel -
to know that in your name
they abused us kids.
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How can I -
'all alone',
find the strength -
... to forgive.
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Alone? marginalized? I will find out the answer to this poem and no matter how fractured my ideals, or perception to this fallacy. If your establishment requires me to be on my knees, then I do so regardless of my yelling and screaming. I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY!!! - I just want for someone who stands behind thee - to open up and listen to me.
In Your Name - Do You Hear Me?